Thinking of Nachal Arugot.

G-d, bless me to live

as you rock my sleeping soul

through the dead of night

More haiku (about 800 of them)
myhaikutoo.blogspot.com/

© "צל עריות"/ סמדר וינשטוק

Someone Broken

By Smadar Weinstock

If you see someone broken

sit beside them

on the shore of cursed brokenness.

Don't try to fix them.

Don't want anything.

With love and fear of G-d

just sit with him

so he won't be there alone.

Everyday Holiness, page 3 - Alan Morinis

"Every one of us is assigned to master something in our lives. You have already been given your assignment and you have already encountered it, though you may not be aware that what faces you is a curriculum, nor that this is the central task of your life... What I am calling your curriculum shows up most clearly in issues that repeatedly challenge you. I'm talking about behaviors that dunk you in the same soup, time and time again."

Re'eh

My essay in this week's Jewish Week.

What Is Love?

“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” ― Fred Rogers

Haiku of the Day

I've come to market

tides washing in on sidewalks

upon our bare feet

For more of my haiku 

go to my haiku blog.

777 and counting.

(This is not a haiku)

Words On Words Part I

Words.  Sigh. I believe in honesty. I also believe in kindness. They say that you can say anything if you say it kindly.  But sometimes we don't say what we need to and want to to someone else in order to protect... ourselves (and sometimes because our silence is actually kindest for the other person).

There are two types of people, those who say it all straight and don't care or maybe even like if they ruffle feathers.  These types value true over all; some might call them Gevurah types.  Then there are those that bend what they think into soft soft words before saying them. They try to be kind but are sometimes mistaken in how they place kindness over all, even truth.  These are the Chesed types.

Saying the right thing the right way is very challenging. One of the most meaningful compliments that I remember receiving in my life came from the neighbor of a friend.  His wife had tragically passed away and I was spending time with him and his neighbor said she had watched me and saw that I always knew the right thing to say.  That was a wow becomes sometimes I really struggle with saying things.  Sometimes I retreat from the struggle and hide.

We don't want to be hiding in life. When we hide what we seek hides too.  We want to be showing who we are. And yet we want to be kind.

Also pertinent is what we think, and feel.  Much of what we say and don't say and even of what we hear being said takes place inside our imagination...

"So long, stuff — the liberated commute: Over the years, I've gone from briefcase to backpack to burden-free."

Found this article by Alex Marshall very interesting, particularly this aside:

Through my writing about infrastructure, I know that personal and common cultural habits often lag behind technological advances by not years or even decades, but generations.

Men and women didn’t stop wearing formal hats regularly until the 1960s, even though the car began to make them outmoded in the 1920s. (There’s no place to put a hat in a car, and you usually can’t wear it because it hits the roof.)

A Poem That Moves Me

Central Parktb
By Sarah Shapiro
h
I took you to the zoo today,
although you were not there.
We marvelled at the parrots,
slowed down going by the bears.
u
I watched you as you watched the seals,
linked arms with you at snakes.
You gazed at the gorillas
for as long as wonder takes.
u
It's not so hard being by yourself
It's not so hard to walk
along the paths of Central Park
if you've got with whom to talk.
y
But to look a thing of beauty
very closely in its eyes,
that's going too far for a heart that knows
it's alone.

uuuuuuuuuuuuHence these lies.
u

Motzai Shabbos Musings

Was with dad for Shabbos and am staying over tonight.  Told him about Phoenix (trailer / Wikipedia) and he was very interested.  He said, "Leave it to Germany to think of making that movie." Not sure what he meant.  He was very taken by the story of it.  Dad left Germany in 1937 at 7 years old.

Surreal reading Donal Hall's Essays After Eighty while staying over for some forty plus hours with my over eighty dad at his assisted living place.  He is smart and funny.  He wrote about getting a National Medal of Arts from President Obama.  A blogger named Alexandra Petri poked fun of him (he is old and has a wild beard and long hair) (link is to one of the many conservatives who ironically defended Hall). He observes that, "With our increasing longevity, Ms. Petri should live to be a hundred. May she grow a beard."  In one essay about the pros and cons of growing older he spends a lot of time describing beautifully the birds, squirrels, and snow and then adds in a bit about how people can be condescending to older people.  He describes how a guard at the National Gallery of Art in Washington saw him being pushed in a wheelchair and felt compelled to tell him who the sculptor was of the art he was looking at.  (It was Henry Moore, who Hall wrote a book about and knew personally.) Later the guard sees him with his companion and asked him, "Did we have a nice din-din?" In the next piece in the book he says that, "Contradiction is the cellular structure of life. Sometimes north dominates, sometimes south- but if the essay doesn't include contraries, however small they be, the essay fails." And he goes on to say that the previous essay resonated with people and brought him a lot of feedback only because he added in the part about " a goon's baby talk."

Pre Shabbos Post

Writing is important to me and maybe reading what I write matters to some people.  It's hard to write without wanting at least a little to be read (while also not).  I am grateful to be writing here, blogging old school/.

It's a hot day, schvitzy hot (the opposite of freezing cold). I went out to Jersey for some errands and got some things done. Coming home I felt really thirsty and tired.  It felt like the way i feel at the end of the work day.  Which led me to many thoughts and feelings.  It was, at least in part, the association with coming home the same route, the same way that I came home from work.

It's 4:30 now.  Going to dad for Shabbos as i did two weeks ago and for four weeks straight before that and two weeks before that and so on. I sleep on a thin mattress on the floor- got to do something about that. And I stay in the assisted living place all of Shabbos... So many Shabboses with dad.  In his home.  Away from his home.  So much was the same for so long.  So much has changed in the last two years.  Dad is a miracle man, having survived a whole bunch of things that many people would not have made it through.  I thank G-d dad is alive and well- poo poo poo.

I need to get going.  If I take a train it will take about two hours.  Driving would be about 45 minutes. In case your new to the program let me mention that I don't feel safe driving.  Number one reason: strabismus. I don't have the time or energy to take buses and trains all the time. I've taken buses twice today.  And I've walked quite a bit.  And I sweated.  And I drank water.  I bought two big (really big bottles of water, one in Kohls and one in Shoprite and drank them both before reaching home).  When some people are hot or thirsty they need a cup of water and they're fine - I need about 15 cups worth.

It's now 4:51.  I need to shower, pack, and go (and pray for not much traffic... sigh...)

Wishing everyone a great Shabbos. Here are some of my thoughts from Eikevs past.

Some More Words

Is there anything we want more than to be seen and heard? Can we be listened to too much? I don't think so? Don't we all need to connect? I know I do.

There are so many cartoons about the Facebook, phone, photo phenomenon. Here's one from this week's New Yorker:

Last night I wrote 3 poems.  That was good.

Tonight I got tragic news from a dear friend. That was bad.

I'm thinking a lot about personalities and needs and relationships and family and connection and love and marriage and dating and growth and self awareness and self care.  I'm thinking a lot...

I write haiku.  I have a lot posted on my haiku blog, so I share less here than I used to. Here's one I just wrote based on the news from my screen:

"Your Haiku Classes,"
the email subject reads and
I get excited

I'm offended by Google for choosing the name of a hundreds of years old form of poetry as the name of a computer program.  And in one second that word was on the lips of thousands of teachers who had never uttered it before, some of them not English teachers.

Now I'm thinking of sharing more haiku here and explaining what they're about.  When I introduce a poem with explanation I often think f this Billy Collins poem:

I just finished reading Our Souls At Night, and now am considering starting Haruf's masterwork, or I may start The Marriage of Opposites by Alice Hoffman.  I was so taken by her reading and Q and A the other night...

I've started All Who Go Do Not Return. So well written.  So painful.

Here are my thoughts on something in the news:

Years ago, in 1993, John Stewart had a late night talk show called the Jon Stewart Show. I wish I could find the newspaper article I read after it was cancelled. They asked Stewart what he was going to do next. I wish I could remember the exact words and I hope what I'm about to write comes out right.

He said that he had tried and had reached high and it ended. He said that he had no idea what he would do now other than drink a lot and maybe become homeless. Something about the way he spoke seemed so honest and vulnerable, like he cut through the normal baloney he was expected to say and just told his truth.

I once crossed paths with Stewart. I went with a friend to see Richard Lewis read from his book The Other Great Depression, when it came out. As we were walking into the Barnes and Noble downtown Stewart and his crew were filming a brief interview with Lewis. As they finished it he turned to the camera guy and they agreed that it was good. There was something unpretentious and very down to earth in the that moment.

When I come across the saying that the way of Torah is to sleep on the floor and eat just bread and salt I think of artists. When you are truly dedicated to something you are willing to give it all up to attain that thing. The greatest people in all fields worked and sacrificed to get there. I think Stewart put in a lot of time as a starving artist and that honest attitude of his helped him get where he got. And I wonder, and I don't wonder, what he'd say he's going to do next.

I'm posting this on a Friday and if I don't post again today I wish you now a beautiful Shabbos of rejuvenation and inspiration.

"If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher." -Pema Chodron

From "Sing, My Soul" (Pg. 15)

I've cited Rabbi Samuel Adelman over the years. 

Here's another poem of his; it was transcribed by Rabbi Uri Cohen:

Tears
By Rabbi Samuel Adelman

(Written on the occasion of his third daughter going off to college.)

There are tears that flow
For many varied cause,
Tears of joy and pride,
Tears in life's occasional pause.

If you wonder why
You see the glistening tear,
It is because time stands still
As we see you now, my dear.

These are not tears of sadness
Though in joy there is a tear,
As you embark on life's adventure,
Our hearts shall ere be near.

Thus we ask that you forgive
These foolish hearts that cry,
For mingled with the salt of tears
Is a prayer to God on High.

And as we pray we also ask
That one day you may cry
For the exact same reason
That makes us on this day sigh.

Some Words

10:25 PM - I have a hard time sharing here without writing that I don't know what to write or where to write it. Spoke to dad a little while ago. he is always happy to hear.  It gets lonely is assisted living. On the other hand it can get lonely anywhere. An ambulence came there over Shabbos, "some excitement." Someone passed away.  I "get credit,"he said, was the winner of the prize for first person to call him after Shabbos...

Reading News-

Recently finished The Love Song of Miss Queenie Hennessy.  I really enjoyed it.  I liked it more than The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry. But I do think you have to read that one first to get this one.

I started reading All Who Go Do Not Return. It is well written.  It is heartbreaking in many ways. Reading from it leaves me feeling awkwardly torn.

I read pieces of John Cleese's memoir, So. Anyway.  He speaks of his mother being unpredictable and going into rages and how he and his father were always trying to avoid that. His best memories of her are when he made he laugh. He never made her laugh as hard as when she was complaining about life and he said if it was that bad he knew a guy that could knock her off.  he says that he never loved her as much as he did at that moment.

Read pieces of Donald Hall's Essay's after Eighty. He is surprisingly funny and insightful.  I never read a poem of his that grabbed me.  He always interested me because he was married to Jane Kenyon who I did connect with, particularly her poem "Otherwise."

11:03 PM - Been sitting here and writing the above.  Had one exchange online with a friend. Wrote another two friends.  Posted on Facebook.

My soul longs and yearns...

Beyond 11:59 PM - What I like most in a TV show is relationships and humanity.  I can get through shows of various genres if there's enough of what I connect to.  The first 6 episodes of the new summer show Proof were okay.  The seventh one called St. Lukes really hit it out of the part for me, bringing in family, religion, loyalty, a big time emphasis on relationships and humanity.  Bravo!