When I was about 13 I was finally able to articulate something that I sensed but didn't previously have words for. I confronted my parents and my eye Dr. and the doctor conceded that there was an issue with my eyes called Strabismus. I couldn't (still can't) use my eyes in sync with each other. I asked about surgery (knowing that my down the block friend had had such surgery). Dr. B. told me and my parents that there was surgery, but that if it was his kid he wouldn't do it and that was the end of that for many years.
When I was living in Israel in my twenties I went to a top strabismus surgeon there and was told that surgery was a safe and viable option. I went to America and convinced my parents to get on board. I had the surgery (by the same specialist who had done the procedure on my down the block friend back when he was a kid). The surgery works best on infants and did not fully work on twenty something me.
The operation helped aesthetically, making it look more like I'm looking at you with both eyes (even though I'm not). But the enticing promise of using both eyes in sync, the way it's supposed to be, was not fulfilled. I still don't have depth perception, and it's hard to read, play sports, and since the surgery from certain angles I see double.
One of the hardest thing about strabismus is that it's not well known. So when you tell people about it they try to trump your delicate truth with their arrogant confidence. I've experienced that my whole like, being told "politely" that what I'm describing is hard to believe (like I'd lie about it), or more bluntly that it can't be true.
In July of 2021 I was speaking to a dear friend and mentioned something about how I focus with one eye at a time while my brain tunes out what the other is is watching off to the side. I was surprised when he had heard of it. He said it had just recently been written about, and that it was called Whale Eyes.
I had never heard strabismus (which is not the same as Lazy Eye, which is a terrible name, implying that the eye or the eye's owner should just try harder) referred to as Whale Eyes. The reason I'd never heard of this name was because it had just been created by the author of the article (and director of the video) that my friend had seen. As the author of the newspaper piece writes in this new book, "If the term you're looking for doesn't exist, invent it" (-Whale Eyes, James Robinson,pg. 228).
I am grateful to James Robinson for sharing his story, my story, our story with the world. This new book is more than a book for me it's a prized possession, a validation. May it educate and bring greater understanding and connection to many people.
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