Shabbat Shalom World

4:01 PM - This is when I'm starting this post.  Cooking is kinda-sorta done.  Trying to clean and prep lekavod Shabbos and the world.

I feel like I haven't shared here in a while - some random shares:

Apple does bad stuff in China.  There's a well reviewed  play that focuses on this. The writer and star feels that the show must go on.

I have a soft spot for people who entertained and make me laugh, particularly when I was a youngster.  RIP Robert Hegyes. (Obit.)

Candle lighting is at 4:48 for me, according to My Zmanim.

Here's one of the issues in the news that there's buzz about.

Since I was a kid I've been interested in movies.  A lot of people are reacting to the Oscar nominations, including the nominees.  The predictions have begun.

I took this test recently, was new to me.  It's cool to do the option of rating yourself while also answering for someone else.

A bunch of these things (most or maybe all) I'm linking to are things I've had open and am now closing out and sharing before deleting. Done.

Soon Shabbos.  Preparing, cleaning is not so pleasant for me, but Shabbos is and she is worth the effort of maintenance.

Soon Shabbos, my dear Shabbos.  Lifting me up for forty nine years.

Shabbat Shalom world

I write, try to feel these words

Wait to sing her song

Check In and Haiku

2:11 PM - Friday is my favorite time to post.  Though I'm not sure why I ever write right here.

Just came back from doctor and shopping.  Having at least two guests for Shabbos meals.

Doctor says boiling water burn on my hand is nothing to worry about.  Likewise regarding The Cold That Wouldn't Leave. Thank G-d.

People often ask
What is it about haiku?
I think I can't say.

The Reading Mother (Click For Author Bio)

By Strickland Gillian


I had a mother who read to me
Sagas of pirates who scoured the sea.
Cutlasses clenched in their yellow teeth;
"Blackbirds" stowed in the hold beneath.
I had a Mother who read me lays
Of ancient and gallant and golden days;
Stories of Marmion and Ivanhoe,
Which every boy has a right to know.
I had a Mother who read me tales
Of Gelert the hound of the hills of Wales,
True to his trust till his tragic death,
Faithfulness lent with his final breath.
I had a Mother who read me the things
That wholesome life to the boy heart brings-
Stories that stir with an upward touch.
Oh, that each mother of boys were such!
You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be --
I had a Mother who read to me.
 

Haiku by Yakov Azriel -

I just recently discovered this poet. I was waiting to transcribe all 13 of his haiku about the children of Ya'akov Avinu, but it's slow going. So here's part. I like the work I've seen of his. These are from the start of his poetry book on Shmot. In the past poets have seemed to be fine, even pleased with my posting their work; if this author or any other prefers I don't sing their praise/share their ware they can let me know.

Reuben
The purple mandrake
That blossoms among the wheat,
Hidden and ashamed.

Simeon
A yellow daisy
That cannot decide to be
A flower or a weed.

Levi
From his tree's resin,
the fragrance of frankincense
Will fill the Temple.

Judah
Blushing in remorse,
A vine's grapes can repent too
and regally reign.

Dan
A tree by a stream
That generously bequeaths
Ripe pomegranates

Naphtali
A small fig tree grows,
Unobserved by the many
But loved by the few

Va'Eira

Shabbat left, as always - more or less. Like and unlike everyone she leaves and stays at once.

And the week with the aura of Parshat Va'Eira lingers, but is mostly gone for a year.

I read the full essay of the Slonimer Rebbe in his Darchei Noam. Without peeking. Let's see what stayed with me. He develops the meaning of the four geulot: vehotzeiti, vehitzalti, vega'alti,velakachti, (and he touches on veheiveiti too) He says that the Jews were, at first, in Egypt physically. But spiritually they were elsewhere, in a good way. Then they became physically and spiritually stuck in Mitzrayim. And they needed to be saved. They needed to be saved because their eyes had seen things and bought into them and that's what got them stuck. Hashem had promised Moshe that He would save the Jews from Egypt. That meant that He would save them from the effects of what their eyes had seen. But Moshe asked again, for a different kind of saving. What can get burnt by what they see/experience and need a special saving from the effects of that scorching? One can get scorched and become dried out by following the desires of their heart and eyes, till they have no zest left, so that their davening or mitzvah doing or learning doesn't spark start them. This is what Hashem means when He says that in addition to removing them from the effects of what they've seen, He would also save them from the strong numbing damage they suffered from. Then Hashem promises a geulah; which means a soul elevation. Velakachti is a language of betrothal, connoting becoming G-d's bride. The bride and groom ideally reside in the holiest of lands.

This is my take. Any mistakes are mine. Any accidental/on purpose editing is also mine. Any forgetting, or being impressed by points that others might find peripheral, while neglecting to mention something that someone else might read and say - that was everything is what it is. We all need to learn things for our selves. I certainly recommend learning this sefer and truly making it yours.

Shabbat Shalom World.

Last night I shared my ladder story. I had not recalled this till I started blogging and since it came back into my consciousness I've often thought of it as an apt example of my essence. (A search of slide ladder brings up these posts.) As I last told the tale it dawned on me that it was more revealing than I'd previously realized. When I was 6 years old and in first grade I was afraid to climb the ladder up the playground slide. It seemed steep and the fall would have been onto pavement. I was scared. I liked going down the slide. I felt comfortable getting to the top of the slide the same way I went down it - on the slide itself. The slide was gradual and of one piece, and that made it less daunting - for me. The one tricky part was that when I got to the top I had to twist around and perch before sliding down; but it was the only way - for me. I was not - consciously - trying to seek attention, quite the opposite. I was simply doing what made sense to me, my own thing, with no thought of how it would look to others. I wasn't thinking of others and didn't want them entering my picture. I had used this slide technique before and it worked. And it didn't bother anyone and no-one bothered me about it. This time, though, the teacher scolded me, and - if I remember correctly - threatened me big time; she said she'd tell my mother. She was sure that I was being a wisenheimer. I was shocked when she disciplined me. I was being me the only way I knew how. Flash forward to now, haiku author, stand up comedian, writer of a blog for seven years, Facebook poster of updates that others may see as unusual. At this point I thought I'd bring it all together but I have run out of things to say other than this: I am who I am and it is what it is.

I'm in the basement of the home I grew up in. Shabbos is a few minutes away. Candle lighting here is at 4:39, according to myzmanim. Plag HaMincha is late these days, which is helpful if you want to daven Mincha early so you can properly do Ma'ariv early.

I am with cold.

I started learning Darchei Noam on the parsha, that's the present Yerushalayim Slonimer Rebbe. I hope to write it up at some point. He discusses the four phrases of redemption and why it says vehitzalti as that one was already promised to Moshe (I believe at the sneh). He explains the geulah as having a spiritual and a physical component. One point he makes is that major problems begin with what we allow our eyes to see (lo taturu).

I'm in the middle of reading several books. Holy Beggars is amazing. I love books in which someone cuts their insides open and shows you. The Reading Promise, is supposedly the story of a father reading to his daughter for thousands of nights in a row. But the chapters aren't so much about the reading as being snapshots of their lives. Still, it's a quirky and good read. I'm really enjoying I Watch, Therefore I Am. It's philosophy explained with TV examples. It's a sweet read.

I miss Jane Kenyon, though I never knew her. Her husband, Donald Hall, has never done it for me the way her poems did. Still, his essay in The New Yorker is intriguing. Maybe I'll finish it. "I am eighty-three, I teeter when I walk, I no longer drive, I look out the window." Poetic. Beautiful.

Shabbos is tiptoeing our way. She doesn't want to disturb, but she knows its time for attention to be turned her way. She is so polite, has been since I've known her. I look forward to spending time with Shabbos. And to sharing Shabbos with my dad.

Shabbat Shalom World.

HOTD 2

You can "friend" Facebook
Makes you wonder about things
Facebook: friend or fiend?

HOTD 1

There's no left or right
there is only where we stand
and how we view things

The Fourfold Song

By Rabbi Avraham Yitzchak HaKohein Kook


There is a person who sings the song of his soul. He finds everything, his complete spiritual satisfaction, within his soul.

There is a person who sings the song of the nation. He steps forward from his private soul, which he finds narrow and uncivilized. He yearns for the heights. He clings with a sensitive love to the entirety of the Jewish nation and sings its song. He shares in its pains, is joyful in its hopes, speaks with exalted and pure thoughts regarding its past and its future, investigates its inner spiritual nature with love and a wise heart.

There is a person whose soul is so broad that it expands beyond the border of Israel. It sings the song of humanity. This soul constantly grows broader with the exalted totality of humanity and its glorious image. He yearns for humanity's general enlightenment. He looks forward to its supernal perfection. From this source of life, he draws all of his thoughts and insights, his ideals and visions.

And there is a person who rises even higher until he unites with all existence, with all creatures, and with all worlds. And with all of them, he sings. This is the person who, engaged in the Chapter of Song every day, is assured that he is a child of the World-to-Come.

And there is a person who rises with all these songs together in one ensemble so that they all give forth their voices, they all sing their songs sweetly, each supplies its fellow with fullness and life: the voice of happiness and joy, the voice of rejoicing and tunefulness, the voice of merriment and the voice of holiness.

The song of the soul, the song of the nation, the song of humanity, the song of the world-they all mix together with this person at every moment and at all times.
 
And this simplicity in its fullness rises to become a song of holiness, the song of God, the song that is simple, doubled, tripled, quadrupled, the song of songs of Solomon-of the king who is characterized by completeness and peace.

Orot Hakodesh II, p. 444

HOTD2

G-d bless the single
people alone and lonely
married ones also

HOTD 1

Your misperception

affects me if I let it

Why would I allow?

HOTD 9

A blossoming cold:
Chicken soup, melt-away cake
make it feel better

HOTD 7

"THAT was a good one,"
makes comedians wonder,
and aslo poets.

HOTD 6

Only on Facebook
can you like without "like"-ing
and not like, but "like"

HOTD 5

H.A.L.T. is dangerous:
Hungry, Angry, Lonely, with
Tired underneath

HOTD 4

What can you hurry?
Neither love nor life nor this
The simple haiku

HOTD 3

Man must be father
to the child inside him
as he makes choices

HOTD 2

Honor trauma, wounds
But don't become worshipful
Acknowledge, let go

HOTD

Sitting at his screen

Distracted by hallway noise

He nurses a cold

Great Advice Regarding Thinking Before Speaking

As Bon Iver Plays On Radio

I prefer not to mention Facebook in this space. (Although a search reveals that I have referenced that site in several posts.) I post on Facebook at a rate that most people would refer to as often. I do that because I have more tangible evidence of life on Facebook than on my blog. There, there is give and take. There are conversations - like there once were here. I try to write that without sighing in a feeling sorry for self way. It is what it is.

I like writing here - to some extent. The one way mirror phenomenon bothers me, much as it always has.

Why blog?

A dear friend and blog reader has said that my blog has a self selected audience. It's not a phrase I use or am sure I understand, still - it sounds right. I am grateful to G-d for the friends that I have in life, and in particular for those who read me.
In our last speech class of the year (with this semester's group) a student prepared and presented a poem. He introduced it, and from his description I happily guessed that it was this:

i thank You God for most this amazing
By e.e. cummings

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)


Another student said that the poem she was about to read was "a persuasive poem." Yes. I will include it at the end of this post.

Another student gave a persuasive speech about the importance of friendship. A great choice and a well done presentation. The number of confidants people have in America is declining rapidly according to her research.

I will miss this exceptional group. Together we created a positive and memorable space/class.

I hope no-one minds too much if I say this: I love my work. My workplace is a major part of my life-community and life. My teaching and counseling are major parts of my meaning and fulfilment in life.

I am about to leave the building for Winter Break. I will miss coming here. I thank G-d for this beautiful blessing in my life.

And now, for now, I leave you with Ruthie's tree poem.

I AM A TREE

By Laleta Davis-Mattis

I am a tree
A tall tall tree
There are many things that I can see
I look above
I look below
So may things that I can show
I see the birds flying high in the skies
Making circles like huge mud pies
And at nights where do they go
On my branches both high and low.

I am a tree
A tall tall tree
There are many things that I can see
I see the snails,
Going oh so slow
Up my trunk , it is their bunk
Then there’s the butterfly
Fluttering through my branches
It feels so good,
It makes me do the crunches

I am a tree
A tall tall tree
There are so many things that I can see
I see the factories billowing out smoke
I see the child ready to choke
I see the garbage flowing down the stream
Oh if you could see
It would make you scream
I see the fisherman with the tiny fish
Oops that can never male a delicious dish.

I am a tree
A tall tall tree
There are so many things that I can see
I see the man, the woman, the boy the girl
I see that the world is in a swirl
I see them , and I see you
Oh I beg, what can you do?
I see the man coming with the saw
To cut me down,
Against that there is no law.

I am a tree
A tall tall tree
There are so many things that I can see
I want to live to tell the tale
Of things happening from mountain to vale
I am a tree
A tall tall tree
There are so many things that I can see
Save the trees, save the earth
We are the guardians of nature’s birth.

HOTD - Inspired By My First Period 10S Class

Days hum by like songs
Looked back at they're never long
Here for now then gone

Fresh Poetry! Caught In The Bloodstream This Morning!

Sarcasm is a temptress.  She is a member of the Victim-hood family, of the Cambridge Victim-hoods. Perhaps you've encountered her sisters Anger and Cynicism.

I will say it straight out.  I wish that poetry was more red and appreciated, more main stream.  I wish my poetry was ditto ditto ditto. I wish there were more signs of readers of this blog.  In particular, I'd love feed-back and even support of the poems.  I want to put out a book of some of my many long poems, but that'll take a few shekels.  And I foresee it as a project that will include the assistance of fans of me and/or my work.
Anyway, without any further ado (even if you want more ado) (hat tip to Robert Klein), here's a poem I just wrote:

Hot Off The Self
By Neil Fleischmann
January 15, 2012

I’m determined to write a poem

And to share it with you

My determination might be better served

Toward (other?) things I have to do

And yet, and yet, and yet, and yet

My soul commands me, “Write.”

And who am I to say she’s wrong

As she is G-d’s candle light?

And now you may be wondering

Must a poem be cliché’/rhyme filled?

And I myself am wondering

Does rhyme indicate skill?

And what about her?

and what about him?

And what about the morals

of Wilhelm Karl Grimm?

And what does it mean

when you don’t name a name?

If you hurt someone, is a thank you

a thank you, just the same?

And how accessible

must poetry be?

Is rhyming a red herring?

Must I genogram my tree?

At once I am commited

to ending this piece

I have to go and push aside

My fears of the secret police.

Of Late I Think of Polka Dots

Purple With White Dots - 2012

"That's Me In The Corner"

I just chanced upon this post. I was surprised that I didn't answer the questions of lavender garden and anonymous straight up. The photo was an erev Yom Kippur photo op for a tiny local paper.  They asked if someone could bring in a kittel and my mother was there when they asked, so I got the gig.  That's how my mom recalled it.  I had thought that I was simply chosen.  Also, the girl, Debbie Flaum, and I were close at the time.  Ah, Kindergarten.

"C'mon Get Happy"

I am starting this post now, at 11:48 - when will it end?  Some time tonight/this morning.  I'm waxing nostalgic in several ways. The good old days, not sure when they were, but I miss them.

About a month ago I gave a scholar in residence talk about happiness.  Beforehand I searched my apartment for Dennis Prager's Happiness Is A Serious Problem. I couldn't find it, so I referenced it from memory and also used an online article by Prager about how happiness is a moral obligation on an individual and global scale. I also used two books by Rabbi Abraham Twerski - one that he wrote for Artscroll/Mesorah called Simcha - It's Not Just Happiness, and another that he did for Jewish Lights called Happiness and the Human Spirit. It went pretty well - was a difficult gig because I was booked as guest speaker and there was also a shloshim siyum for someone from the shul who'd passed away.  I think it went well. The family seemed pleased.  A friend of mine, who is a long time mechanech, told me that Prager regularly addresses happiness on his radio show and emphasizes his belief that happiness is a moral obligation. I found the book, and read some of it over Shabbos (friends of mine and their children were once staying overt at my place and one of the kids tried to count my books and gave up when she got to 2000).  It was clearly min hashamayim  that I didn't find it before the talk because I think using more from this book wouldn't have been as good a fit as the content I went with.

Prager writes, "There are some clear rules to happiness. One is that you cannot be happy if your primary identity is that of a victim, even if you really are one."  He states several reasons why victim-hood precludes happiness. Here's his explanation - adapted by me - for why people who identify themselves as victims can't be happy. People who see themselves as victims don't take control of their lives because they don't see it as an option. They feel that life happens to them not by them.  So they're not going to do what they need to to make themselves happy.  Part of victim-hood is to feel that life is unfair and to enjoy being an unhappy and "picked on" soul. Another part of the victim syndrome is to be perpetually angry "and an angry disposition makes happiness impossible." Enjoying life and being happy will mean letting go of the choice to view oneself as a victim and people who are committed to feeling victimized are in that place because they gain something from it (or think they do) that they don't want to let go of.

Twenty Questions on Sefer Shmot

1. Who’s the first adopted person described in the Torah?
2. How many times are the words makah or makot used in regard to the plagues.
3. What are the explanations of Rashi and Ramban for why the Jews cried when the king died? (credit for each)
4. Give an educational reason stated in the Torah as the point of the makot. (3 answers, credit for each)
5. What word, which is used regarding the creation of the world, is used about Moshe when he is born?
6. What are the explanations of Rashi and Ramban for what Pharoh meant when he said he was afraid that the Jews would leave Mitrayim?
7. What synonym for multiplying, according to Seforno, teaches us that the Jews fell to a low level in Mitzrayim?
8. Prove that Moshe cared about justice and peace for all people.
9. When is a kal vechomer used in Sefer Shmot?
10. What is absent from the story told in Perek Bet of Shmot?
11. What are the two ways to translate meyaldot ha’ivriyot?
12.  What does the Abarbanel say is the meaning of the names Shifra and Puah?
13. Which of the makot did not have warnings? (Give the numbers)
14. Give an example from Sefer Shmot where the more someone tries to stop something, the more it happens. (Not The Makot) (LILA USE PIC HERE)
15. From what holiday do we learn that you should learn about a holiday 30 days before it arrives?
16. What are the explanations of Rambam and Ramban of how to reconcile Pharoh having free will with the fact that Hashem hardened his heart? (credit for each)
17. “Vayehi beshalach…” – According to Chazal what mood does the word vayehi indicate? How could that fit here? (credit for each)
18. What 2 makot are comprised of the same letters as each orher?
19. What 3 parts of the Mishkan are comprised of the same letters as each other?
20. Which makah was started by an easterly wind and ended by a westerly wind?

Erev Shabbos

1:12 PM - Ten years ago no longer seems like a long time to me. When I was ten it did. Yesterday I told a colleague that I recalled when he painted his face the four colors of the four grade teams of Shiriyah.  "That was a long time ago, Neil," he said to me. It was ten, maybe twelve years ago. I remember my parents thinking that I made a smart comment, one time, when I was a kid - probably about seven years old. They asked me if a certain relative was old and I said, "It depends who you put them next to." On a different but, in my soul, related note - whether or not ten years is a long time depends on who you ask.

3:06 PM - I'm cooking for Shabbos and for Shabbos guests - and for me.  I like cooking and I don't like cleaning.  I recall years ago reading a writer's comment (I wrote about it in this post, and got a kick from looking at this post from the good old days of the J-blogosphere. What a wide ranging post and eclectic array of comments!) that she had laundry strewn about her home and it was a worthy price to pay for being a successful, published author.  I don't know.  I think what ever we are in life, we have to - to some extent - strengthen the muscles of the weaker parts, of the things we are not.  I tend to say I'll cook and not clean, but life is about cooking and cleaning up while you cook.  We need to multitask and we need to balance pursuing the things that come naturally to us while strengthening those things that don't come easily to us.

3:50 PM - Time to finish up the food prep - the cooking and the cleaning.  Mi shetarch be'erev Shabbos yochal beShabbos.

4:15 PM - Closer yet.

Here are some links to my previous posts on Shemot.  And one more that came up when I searched Shmot.

My dad, he should live and be well, just expressed concern about me getting run down.  He knows me.

I do have the starts of a cold, the usual reaction to a week of extra push, pull, wear and tear.

Shabbos is coming, so are other guests, all of whom bring me joy and comfort.  One thing most of us agree on is that we don't want to be alone.  Perhaps that's what's behind the story of the Medrash that tells us that Shabbos complained that it had no pairing like the other six week-days.  G-d said that Shabbos' partner would be the Jewish people.  And Bialek said that more that the Jews have kept Shabbos, Shabbos has kept the Jews. I look forward to Shabbos, always.  I would yearn for her from anywhere, and I do. Soon Shabbos, and the rest.

Frisch Sophomore Shiriyah Video 2012

10 Questions On Sefer Shmot (8/10 adapted from Torah Teasers By Rabbi Moshe Erlbaum, based on the approach of Rabbi Moshe Atik) (Answers are in first comment)

1. Who is called a kohein in Parshat Shmot?
2. Where is snow mentioned in Parshat Shmot?
3.Where is a hotel mentioned in Parshat Shmot?
4. State two places in Sefer Shmot where straw is mentioned.
5. Who was married to a bird?
6. In Parshat Va’Eirah, what is referred to as a morasha?
7. During what makah, other than Choshech, does the land of Egypt become dark?
8. Name two things in Sefer Shmot that happened through a ruach kadim.(separate credit for each)
9. From what holiday do we learn that you should start asking about a holiday 30 days before the holiday?
10. Name two places in Sefer Shmot that a dog/kelev is mentioned.

Shemot - Short Vort

This morning Rabbi Asher Bush, my longtime, esteemed colleague at The Frisch School, addressed the senior minyan and shared this meaningful thought: 

According to the pshat, Shifra and Puah were regular folk that we never heard of before and will never hear of again in the Torah. They feared G-d, stood up to Pharoh, did what was right despite hard times and high risk. A lesson we can learn from this incident is that inspirational courage can come and often must come from decent, non-famous people. Part of the reason the redemption arrived - soon after the story of Shifra and Puah - was the conviction and principle found in the heart of the "simple," "regular" Jew.

‎"Be thine own palace, or the world's thy jail." - John Donne

In Memory of Ruth Stone

So What 
By Ruth Stone

For me the great truths are laced with hysteria.
How many Einsteins can we tolerate?
I leap into the uncertainty principle.
After so many smears, you want to wash it off with a laugh.
Ha ha, you say. So what if it's a meltdown?
Last lines to poems I will write immediately.

HOTD

Air like life blessings

Consistently bestowed

Taken for granted

Three Days of My Bloggary

Friday January 6, 2012 


10:27 AM - I'm in my office, free-writing for a few minutes... 


The sophomores have Shiriyah (Color War) practice, so I'm off duty - to the extent such a concept exists in reality.  


Neil Diamond's "Don't Go There" is playing on Pandora.  It's funny - not ha ha - that this just came on.The last time I heard this song was early this past Sunday morning, on my Ipod, as I walked Ocean City's shore  and found it fascinating that Diamond was singing the unique, prescient sounding, words that he was crooning. It's a cool song, worth a listen - in any case. 


Shiriyah broke out this morning.  I'm adviser for Juniors. In past years I've performed at the event (8 times) and run Torah bowl (12 times?). Juniors are meeting in a few minutes, I need to be there. It's 10:34.  It's amazing how i can write quickly and smoothly because I love writing.

I write like I breathe

I sit here as it happens

Blood breathes onto page

323 PM - "Slip Slidin' Away" - the (live) version with Garfunkel - plays from my ear-buds, while I sit as a guest in the (nicely finished) basement. And I remember my week.  Sigh. I think the idea that "you near your destination the more you're slip slidin' away" is a profound one. While we feel the pain of struggle, we are, hopefully, moving toward where we want to be.

This week I wrapped up the makkot in Chumash.  And taught more of the sugyah in Pesachim about birchat hamtzvot. We discussed brachot in general. I shared  Piercey's poem about what she does and does not consider a blessing. And I shared my response.

Motzai Shabbos January 7, 2012

6:07 PM - Shabbos is gone.  Why she had to go, I don't know. 

It was unreasonably warm today.

There is no kigo
to include in this haiku;
Winter, sixty-four

I have always enjoyed Rabbi Yaakov Lehrfield's Shabbos morning shiur.  Here's my adaptation of what I remember him saying this morning about Parshat VaYechi:

1 - When Ephraim and Menashe come to Ya'akov to be blessed, he asks, "Mi Eileh?" - "Who are they?" Rav Zalman Soratzkin, in his Oznaim LaTorah, says that Yaakov thought twice at this pivotal moment.  It's one thing to be a good person, good son, good grandson - but to be in a prominent is a different reality. Yaakov wanted to be certain before transforming his grandchildren into the ultimate model of the blessing that every father wants his son to be that they were fit for this position.

2 - The word "leimor" - "saying" is used when Yaakov blesses Ephraim and Mesashe. In this case the word contains a letter that it does not usually have; it is spelled in full, with a vav between the mem and the reish. This may symbolize the fact that, despite his original hesitancy, once Yaakov decided to bless them he did so with a full heart.  This can be backed up by the fact that the word emor is used, and includes a rare vav between the mem and the reish, when the kohanim are commanded to bless the Jewish people.  Rashi explains that the extra vav indicates that the blessing the kohanim give is meant to be wholehearted. 

3. Why did Yosef die at 110, younger than all the brothers? Rashi says because he was in a position of ruler-ship.  This could be understood as a punishment for acting to others in a condescending way.  It could also simply be that a consequence of being a political leader is vast amounts of stress that can lead to dying young.  The Torah states that Yosef lived to 110 and then says that he died at 110. This fact is clearly being emphasized. In each case, the trup - musical notes indicating how the words are to be read - are zakeif katon, which means the small (young) one was raised up high!

11:30 PM - That's the actual time right now, though it sounds too round and perfect to be true.  For the rest of tonight maybe we'll just keep it all under this heading.

Tonight I saw Ryan Hamilton, Andy Hendrickson and Mark Riccodonna. Mark's one rule as emcee is that the audience should give laughter to help the comedians give their best.

There are things in life that I watch and say, "I could never do that." Stand up comedy is one of those cases where the opposite is true. Tonight, as I enjoyed these 3 talented performers I sat and thought, "I can do that."

Here's a clip of Andy doing a routine he expaned on tonight, adding "Mom it's not a machine or a tape, it's a cell phone with a computer chip - you just filled up a whole computer mom."

It's 12:23 AM, technically Sunday, but still Saturday night to me.  

I believe in growth, working on oneself, always trying to make oneself better.  It's hard work.  Another thing I see and think as I watch comedians is how everyone really wants to grow and change. Comedians are about honesty, oddly - as was the case at certain moments in tonight's show - honesty often trumps funny in a routine, because they can't help themselves.  

I remember my eleventh grade Chemistry teacher, Mr. Peller, was the first person I ever heard say, "In all jest there is truth."

Sleep is calling me
I let the machine pick up

Write this one more thing

Sunday January 8, 2012


10:15 AM -

This  classic routine of Nichols and May just came to mind, very similar to the bit I linked to above.

Getting ready to horse and buggy it out of Staten Island.  

Need to get to school/work and coach the Junior grade to Shiriyah victory.


1:09 PM - Just entered my abode.  I was thinking of writing that I crossed the finish line after horse and buggying it home (10:49-1:09, 2 hours and twenty minutes).  It's not the finish line, after taking 2 buses and a train so far I have more travels ahead to get to work.  I should be thrilled that I don't really use a horse and buggy, that would be much slower and schleppier (I imagine). That reminds me of a routine by one of last night's comedians. He wondered why people love to go back in history and do things like take buggy rides.  If someone from olden times saw people paying today to ride a horse and carriage they'd probably say, "What's wrong with you? We've been trying to get rid of those things for years.


7:06 PM - Got on the road again at around 2, to work at 3, left around 6:15.  Home again  just now.  Spent four and a half hours travelling today. I could be comfortably vacationing in New Hampshire by now.  


The associate principal appreciated my being there for the school kids and ran late on his way home to his own little ones in order to take me to my door.  There's nothing like kindness to make my day.


11:59 PM - I was so tired that I took one of those naps that I don't remember lying down for, only getting up from.  I need to do usual work, and unusual.  The day is short, the work is great...


Now, it's later than before, isn't it always? I won't reveal the time, but if I am to succeed in getting up by 6:30 and out by 7, I'd better go to sleep.

Here 

with the grace of G-d 

I am

There 

but for His grace 

I would have gone.

Two Thoughts on VaYechi

Rav Chaim Schmuelvitz suggests that the name Yisrael connotes happiness while Yaakov reflects sadness. He says this is clear at the start of VaYechi: “And it came to pass after these things that someone said to Yoseph: 'Behold, your father is sick.' And he took with him his two sons, Menasheh and Ephraim. And someone informed Yaakov, and said: 'Behold, your son Yosef is coming to you.' And Yisrael strengthened himself, and sat upon the bed.” (There’s an interesting literary parallelism – first someone tells Yosef something about his father, then his father is told something about him. Wonder what the message is in that little piece of Torah poetry. I wonder who that person, in each case, was. Sometimes mysterious people are angels, and the lesson is about G-d’s will being made to come true.)
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First sad, then reinvigorated; Yaakov then Yisrael. This reminds me of an interview I saw in which Robert Klein was asked if he sees himself or someone else when he watches videos of his old performances. He said that he actually sees different people, not him as he knows himself now. We are all (hopefully) different people at different ages, in different moods, and during different times.

Yaakov was sometimes so sad that he was a different person. And yet he was always forefather and role model. Different states of mind are opportunities, not excuses. This is a difficult truth, true nonetheless. Wherever we're at and whoever we are at any moment we are expected to be our best, to do to our best to be close to G-d.

May we be so blessed.

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The following is transcribed from a piece on Vayechi by Rav Moshe Feinstein. It's in Darash Moshe, published by Artscroll/Mesorah.

"I shall be gathered to my people." - Breishit 49:29

It is unclear to whom Jacob was referring with the word "people." He could not have meant the Jewish people, since he himself was the first of them to die, and had he meant Abraham and Isaac he would have said, "I am about to be gathered to my fathers."

To understand what Jacob meant, I wish to suggest that even though a particular group may not be considered a distinct people in our world, in the world of truth a "people" is defined by the strength of its belief in Hashem and by the quantity and quality of merits accumulated through efforts in this world. Surely the tzadikim who had made themselves known in the world until that time, including Adam, Seth, Methuselah, Shem, Eber, and, of course, Abraham and Isaac, would constitute such a group.

This is what Jacob meant: "I shall be gathered to my people" - to the righteous ones who have a place together in the world of truth because they believed in Hashem, and therefore I wish to be buried with my fathers, Abraham and Isaac.

Asarah BeTeiveit

Tragedies start small

while we still have time to change

Time to take the chance

The tenth of Tevet commemorates the beginning of the siege of Jerusalem. A year and a half later (on the seventeenth of Tamuz) the walls were penetrated. Three weeks after that (on the ninth of Av), the Beit HaMikdash was destroyed.

Asarah beTevet is unique among the fast days, in that it demarcates something that does not seem that horrible. One of the lessons of this day is that the beginning of a tragedy is also a tragedy. This can be compared to two short lines that each appear to be straight. However, one of them is very slightly curved, and so when you extend it the crookedness becomes more extreme, more noticeable.

There is a sad extension to this tragedy began a year and a half before it exploded and there was no return. The Jews had a year plus to contemplate their situation, reflect on their ways. They could have done teshuvah, but they didn't. That is also a part of what this day is about.

As the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch puts it (121:1), "The fasting is only a preparatory step intended to inspire repentance. Therefore, those people who, while fasting on these days, go on strolls and waste the day on idle matters, have grasped the secondary character of the day, but ignored its essence.

May Her Neshamah Have An Aliyah

I am speechless, sleepless, less - on mom's second Yahrtzeit.

Haiku 3

Less an illusion

Life is a grand allusion

There's got to be more

Haiku Too

I feel minimized
Criticized inside your eyes
While I try to rise

Haiku of the Day

Tests to take, to grade

Daily we judge and are judged

Life is a long test.

Short Poems By Frank Robinson

Every morning in the half-light 
the ghost of me slowly reappears

After all these years,
old age comes not as a prize
but as a test.

Dozing on the bus,
I completely missed the beautiful view again.

Such energy -
as if they had been waiting all their lives
to be eighty

Surrounded by flowers,
surrounded by people -
I should learn their names.

In a plane -
looking at the back of heads,
as interesting as the fronts.

Preparing for the test -
not realizing
the test has come and gone.

There is no courage without fear,
and no virtue without temptation.

The obit editor decides
which of us will have a famous death.

At some point
you become afraid not of dying
but surviving.

I haven't lived there in fifty years
and yet when you ask for my address...

So many birds
left their tracks on our walk,
I had to stop shoveling.

On the way back
our dog
studies her own footprints in the snow.

We know each other so well,
we know the length of the leash between us.

The deer
on their Fred Astaire legs
come dancing through the snow.

The clumsy frogs
jostle the reeds
as they swim
far below the surface.

On The Shore Haiku

Unafraid, he flies

over water and through sky.

Is that bird thinking?

The Nothing Like A Bookend Haiku

childhood moments

replay kindly inside me

as I see old friends

Haiku of This Morning

On Pinnacle Road

Quiet New Year's morning

First minutes, first day

"...And You're Sitting On Top Of The World": A Haiku

Low maintenance
Strong, delicate, beautiful
Waves are quite a catch

Responsibility Haiku

Together, apart

Each thinking of our own needs

Rise up; rise above

Like David I Have My Song: A Haiku

Like David we each
have our own personal song
Mizmor LePloni

Haiku of the Day

G-d is in the air.

The air is inside of G-d.

Breathe.  Breathe deeply.  Breathe.

Vayigash: In The Sound of A Thin Silence

By Rabbi Neil Fleischmann

In a famine, 10 brothers traverse a great distance for bread. After encountering Egypt's viceroy, who controls the food supply, everything spirals downward. Mishaps escalate into impending tragedy; they are arrested as spies, one brother is taken hostage, the youngest brother is accused of stealing, and that's just part of it. They wonder why this is happening as they ineffectively struggle to handle their situation.

When this powerful leader tells them who he is, "Ani Yosef" ("I am Joseph") their reality shifts, leaving them speechless. The Midrash Rabbah cryptically connects the brothers' reaction to Yosef's revelation with what each of us will experience when we meet our Maker (at age 120) saying, "Woe to us for the day of judgment, woe to us for the day of reproach." jj jjj
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Rabbi Bernard Weinberger in his work Shemen HaTov posits that the brothers were speechless for a powerful reason. They had never, even as children, recognized Yosef for who he really was. Long before his beard and position disguised his identity, Yosef was a mystery to his brothers. Unable to understand him, they reduced him to the one-dimensional. They decided he was a scoundrel, a threat, a daddy's boy, a potential murderer or worse, depending on the commentary. But who was Yosef?

The truth is that Yosef was a tzaddik. In fact, he was The Tzaddik. He is the paradigm of a tzaddik, our only ancestor that is always referenced with that title. The brothers didn't grasp Yosef's greatness for a long time. After the smoke cleared, after the years of anguish, in the moment of silence after Yosef revealed himself, they got it. This annoying younger brother of theirs was now the viceroy of Egypt and more so - he was clearly righteous and G-d fearing.

The Ohr HaChayim notes that twice in a row (Breishit 45:3 and 4) Yosef tells his siblings who he is. In the second instance he adds that he is "Yosef, the brother whom you sold to Egypt." The Ohr HaChayim suggests Yosef was telling them, "I am who I always was - your brother who loves you. Even when you were pushing me away, I was your brother who loved you. The Ohr HaChayim also points out that Yosef shared with them one of those secrets endemic to all families, a fact that only he and his siblings knew. Then, there in the silence, they heard.

The brothers broke through the only way of thinking to which they had attached their minds. Yosef's unveiling provided his brothers with an awareness of his wholeness of being. In the past they had only seen his outer layer, represented by his coat. They now experienced an awakening and saw the full tapestry of Yosef.

The brothers experienced the same kind of silence which followed the whirlwind of sound, action, and fire in which Eliyahu HaNavi could not find G-d. Finally, in the kol demamah dahkah - what Rabbi Jonathan Sachs translates as "the sound of a thin silence," Eliyahu hears G-d and understands. (Melachim I - 19:12)@@

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The Chafetz Chayim focuses on this paradigm shift that the brothers experienced, and says that it mirrors what will happen to each of us one day. When G-d reveals himself to us after we leave this physical world, we will view everything through a new perspective. This idea is in consonance with the illustration of the person who is presented with a gift of a gorgeous tapestry, or so he is told. But when he looks at the needlepoint picture he’s received he is confused because all he sees is loose ends and knots. The friend who gave him the gift tells him to turn it around. When he sees the breathtaking work of art on the other side, he realizes that he had been viewing the back, thus missing the beauty. The Torah tradition is that in this life we often only see part of the picture. This was the metaphorical message G-d presented Moshe with when he told him that he could view His back, but that in this life no man can see G-d head on.@@@@@@@@@

The Tribes of Israel traversed a variety of great distances. In a unique moment of silence, the brothers saw Yosef. One day we will reach an end of our journey and we will see G-d's glory. We will gain complete understanding in retrospect, in a silent moment, after the lively whirlwinds that seemed so real have passed.
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To the degree that it is possible now, may G-d bless us to find a quiet moment and in that silence experience the truth of G-d – “Ani Hashem.” Why wait?

VaYigash - Short Thought

In Breishit 45:28 Yaakov says, ""Rav, od Yoseif beni chai." The general explanation (Rashi and others) of this is that Ya'akov is saying that he is very (rav) happy that Yosef is alive. The Tosefet Brachah questions this and suggests something that he hesitantly and humbly suggests may fit better with the text. In 45:26 the brothers tell Yaakov that "Yosef is still alive and he is ruler over all of Egypt." Yaakov's response is that he doesn't need Yosef to be king of Egypt, as it is more than enough for him simply that Yosef is alive!

Scenes From A Day

I -

It's 6:26 A.M and I need to be out of the house in a few minutes. And yet. I wanted to write. I woke up thinking about children. My mother and father had/have two. Mom (OBM) used to tell one of her children that he wrote things in his blog that he shouldn't. I don't have children. I still hope and pray I will and I won't say more than that right here and now. Yesterday I spent some time with a dear childhood friend and his twenty year old son. The son made a comment about his own imperfections that struck me. Last night a friend of mine with a bunch of kids ranging from infant to 5, in a worn out mood, said that "people have kids because the species must continue, there is no logic to it." I don't agree and I don't think a rested her (if she could please G-d be blessed with some rest) agrees with her.

Besides everything

children are markers

something to hold

the years quickly fading

II -

1:44 PM. I am in the middle of a great chat with a student, a self-described "cynic/seeker.". He is a true intellectual and shared many profound thoughts and 2 wonderful quotes:


"It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste." - Henry Ford


"There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it." - Dale Carnegie


III -

8:30 PM - I'm soaked to the bone, just walked through my door. It took an hour and a half to get from work to a class Chanukah party a few miles away from the school. (Does it make more sense for a teacher to speak of coming and going from work or school? If you say school does it sound like you are in school?) Need to dry off and breathe.

Torrential rains fall

Last Chanukah candles burn

Floor heater buzzes

IV -

11:21 PM - Still recouping from being a rider of the storm. Papers lie at the foot of the heater. I dried up, ironically, after fulfilling the need to shower. Time to go to sleep. So many things to get done. Sleeping can be an act of faith, "letting go and letting G-d."

Love others like you

(The rest is commentary)

And not like you too

FYI - Haku

Sometimes people ask
Sometimes their minds are elsewhere
Still, I share haiku

This Year's Memento From Quebec City

I Wrote This Poem Upon Waking At 7:15, Dec.25, 2011

We live for certain days, months, years

Enjoy our allotted words, laughs, tears

We can make ourselves look young

But when all is said and done

You're as old as you are

Even if you're a movie star

Haiku

I sit, try to think;

What is there to say in life

That is worth saying?