1. Go to the Oh Nuts Purim Basket Gift page. They have to choose their favorite Purim Gift and leave a comment on your blog post with the name and url of the gift they love the most.
I will pick a random winner and they will send you a $30 gift certificate.
2. Go to the oh nuts facebook page become a fan and post on the wall the url and name of your favorite Purim Gift Basket . They should also write "I am here via "NY's Funniest Rabbi"
3. Follow @ohnuts and tweet
" Win a Purim Basket from http://bit.ly/aWXLzp Follow @ohnuts and RT to Enter Daily "
Writing now, I am continuing to add of a list of Mishkan related Rambans on the Mishkan for the head of our Chumash Department. I feel strongly that rishonim, and even Chazal discussed the meaning behind the keilim of the Mishakan and that it's not - as some people contend - "just vortlich."
I feel a bit more rested and contended than I have all week. It's the first chance I've had in while to sit on my own and think, learn, write, and breathe. When a friend of mine recently asked what I'd be doing on Presidents week-end I said my plan was to breathe. She got what I was saying and said she had signs in her home serving as reminders to her and her husband and children - "Breathe."
1:21 PM - I sat and ate lunch with a dear colleague, first time in a while. Talked with students. The bell just rang and the music is playing on the loudspeaker (a tradition as long as I've been here) as the kids head home for the weekend.
2:19 PM - This week I helped a bunch of kids with the processing of their poems for an upcoming poetry event for high-schoolers. On Monday I spent a few hours on a school trip for ninth graders working with kids in the Friendship Circle's President's Week Camp. On Wednesday I participated in the schools full day educational program for the eleventh grade. In twelfth grade we reviewed for a Gemorah test. My Chumash classes are all moving forward, post test. All but one person in Public Speaking have given their autobiographical presentation. The topics have included: the loss of a cat, having divorced parents one of whom is an Orthodox Jew and the other one being intermarried and disengaged from Judaism, believing that greed is good, almost having choked to death on a hard candy, and the effects of the experience of shadowing a developmentally disabled kid in camp. It's amazing to see kids grow. Today a student of mine who graduated six years ago spoke from the heart to my class about his passionate commitment to Judaism.
4:06 PM - A colleague scooped me up from the bus-stop at 2:40 and dropped me off on the New York side of the GWB. Thank G-d. Thank colleague.
I had a great chat with a colleague today. She told me that she walks outside for exercise every morning and then goes to prayers. Impressive. She wishes that people would be more godly and treat one another with kindness, because she believes that's what we're here for. She certainly does her part to be helpful and cheerful toward others. Last Wednesday morning, Helen was taken by her clergyman's words. He said that it was great to see many people before him but that, sadly, tomorrow he'd be there alone again. It was Ash Wednesday and people came out in great numbers for morning mass, much as they do for Christmas mass. And Helen noted that the disappearance the next day is just like Chritsmas too. Besides doing her best to make morning mass daily, Helen teaches in her church's school, in addition to her family life and full time employment at the same place where I teach. It's my honor to work with such a rarely refined, spiritually, and emotionally developed human being.
Soon I'll be heading home, making preparations, as Shabbos approaches.
I just learned in memory of my paternal grandfather, whom I didn't merit to meet, Mordechai Dov ben Eliezer:
Trumah, as explained by Rav Elimelech Bar Shaul:
The Medrash tells the following allegory: A servant of the king married the king's only daughter. The man wanted to move away, for them to make it on their own. The king said, "I can't tell you not not take her where you wish, as she is your wife. But she is my only daughter and I can't part with her. So do me this favor; wherever you go make a room for me to stay in." Similarly, G-d tells the Jewish People, "I gave you the Torah. It is impossible for me to part with her, and I also can't tell you not to take her. So, wherever you go make a home that I will dwell in. This is as it is written, "Make me a Mikdash..." (Shmot Rabbah, Trumah - 33)
If G-d cannot part from His Torah, we should follow His example and be inseparable from this holy gift He has blessed us with. Torah is our very life and by showing that we feel this way about the Torah we show how we feel about G-d who gave us the Torah. Just as G-d shows his love of Torah by always staying close to her (as it were) so too me should express our affection for Torah through closeness to Torah living. G-d loves the Torah He gave us and we love the Torah we received from him: the Mikdash is a testament to this dual love - from above to below and below to above.
I'm beginning to type this at 11:22 PM. I was so tired when I got home at 6ish. And now I am feeling more awake. I had an hour long talk with a dear friend, the longest we've spoken (I think) in years. It was rejuvenating to vent and listen. Everyone has their pekalech. I quoted back something I recalled him saying years ago, a major insight, and he said there aren't many people he could say it to, and yet it's true. Yes. He informed me of someone that was a friend of a friend of mine, and of my friend's wife, whose life was just taken by cancer. Baruch dayan emet. So sad. Mortality permeated our entire conversation, as it does our entire lives. And yet I came away a bit un-saddened, remembering connections, getting a bit grounded by the reality of my twenty plus years of friendship with my friend the vault and the prince.
My day was rich: Taught about why Yitro joined the Jews, went on a Friendship Circle trip where I took pictures and supervised and helped in varied/unexpected ways, met with an alumnus who wants to make a difference in the world through going onto chinuch, met for Torah Guidance with 3 students, spoke with a secular studies colleague, learned, shopped, took the long road home, and decompressed...
I bumped into a shul rabbi and teacher at the sefarim sale and mentioned my book. He bought it. I didn't expect much of a response as he's not poetically inclined. I just got this response:
Reading In The Field
Insightful and Enchanting
Glimpsing Author's Heart
I helped some students with poems for an upcoming competition.
I'm tired and feeling alright though, thank you very much - going to sleep, please G-d...
Fun fact: More people in the world don't blog than do.
I was away for Shabbos, thought going that there was a good chance I'd be going to a concert and then home last night, but it wasn't to be.
I took a ride home at 9ish this morning, post minyan. Had a nice chat with the fellows in the car heading to Y.U. We spoke about how there was a time when you had to get up to change the channel, Carl Rodgers' positive approach, The Gloria Tapes, how HAL in 2001, A Space Odyssey is one letter in the alphabet after IBM, and much much more.
Got to my neighborhood at 10ish and treated myself to egg whites on a whole wheat bagel at the restaurant formerly known as Grandma's Cookies. My health and eating have been very much on my mind lately. Last week I lost 4 pounds and the weigher-in-ner at Weight Watcher announced the number to me with great excitement. I'd rather they just hand me the number stamped in the book as quickly as possible and say as little as possible, because when it goes up they tend to be quite inappropriate at worst and awkward at best.
At 10:30ish I met my friends and their four (hope I didn't forget one) kids. My friend told me a lovely story, as we stood over the children's books. Rabbi Baruch Chait was talking with my friend's young son about his idea to have a robot in his book and asked him what he thought a good name for it would be. The boy came up with the name that Rabbi Chait used. In the book he replicated the conversation they had as a conversation between an older rabbi and a kid. In real life Rabbi Chait gave a large poster size, illustrated copy of that page of the book to the boy.
Then I took an hour and a half walk, which included going back and forth over the GW bridge. Then I ate some garlic chicken and brown rice. My computer guy came by and was helpful as always. A friend called me with a job offer. Another friend emailed me with his positive review of the film I recommended he watch (The Little Traitor). That brings us pretty much up to now.
While walking over the bridge I came up with this:
Bridges and tunnels Choose: to build or to burrow Get by that ocean
and this:
Life's a narrow bridge, whether you drive, walk, bike, run It is what it is
I had an out of the box thought today - "Hakin'ah vehata'avah vehakavod motzi'in et ha'adam min ha'olam" - "The traits of jealousy, desire, and honor remove a person from this world." I always thought - what I think is the conventional interpretation - that this means that these things take you out of true reality. Here's my new idea:
To be religious, spiritual, and holy you need to work withthe human traits of being jealous, desirous, seeking the limelight. You need to wrestle with these inclinations, use them, fight them, balance them. They are tools and, if you deal with them in the right way as they come along in your life, can be the ticket that takes you out of this world... and will cause you to enter the next.
My book is my soul opened up and spread across a hundred pages for your reading enhancement. It has been available since day one at this year's YU - SOY Sefarim Sale. Please check it out. Print this picture in case the workers don't know where it is. If you'd like to hear me speak on humor in Judaism and read from my book next week at the sale, please let them know.
On a related/unrelated note (mei'inyan le'inyan be'oto inyan) I have a question: What is the point of speeches, talks, presentations, classes? The very vast majority of people don't take notes at the rabbi's speech, a talk at a bris, a work seminar presentation, a dinner speech, etc. Most people don't review or try to remember the points. The people who give these things often prepare a lot, and today it is in vogue not just to prepare the presentation but also to write up source sheets and distribute them. Who saves and studies these sheets? What is left when audience and the speaker move on, handouts are swept up and thrown away, and it is no longer impolite for everyone to go home and/or go to sleep? This question haunts and gnaws at me, because the phenomenon of the public speech - that it is socially acceptable to not really pay attention to it - is so common, happens every day. I'd love to hear reader's answers and will share my thoughts if anyone lets me know that they read this and cares.
Speaking of readers, I am a big fan of a reader of this blog's blog. Pesach Sommer's Running Thoughts (I can't believe no runner already had that name) - can be found at middleof the packrabbi.blogspot.com. I am always taken by him and what he writes (he had a recent beautiful piece about his daughter reaching bat mitzah age, and running a half marathon with her) and and and. His most recent piece is about balance. I commented on it because I was taken by it. I highly recommend taking in what he wrote, for everyone.
It's 10:46 PM, just got home a few minutes ago. Full day: classes, guidance, improv club, parent teacher meetings. Parent - teacher meeting in the mid-year is always on a weeknight from 6:30-9:00. About ten parents came, less than for many others. It's a nice time to catch up with other teachers. The talks I had with parents were pleasant and meaningful. I'm giving a test tomorrow that I need to finish writing, and I have a test I gave on Monday that I need to mark.
I just came across this quote that I posted here years ago:
"Just because the rose died on the vine - doesn't mean it lied to you when it was in bloom."
A student waled into my classroom for her Math class as I was packing out from my Chumash class. I don't know this girl and was surprised when she announced, "I love haiku...And I don't like jokes." Then I realized she was reacting to the poem posted above, which was on the board for anyone who was interested in the haiku of the day.
A boy spoke to me today about his general discontent with his present year in school. Academics don't come easy for him and human connections are key. It's always good to hear someone out. I hope I was helpful. I met with a girl who also had some angst to vent about, and I wrote a needed recommendation. I tutored a boy for an hour or plus - what's that lawyer phase for without charging? Au gratin? And I taught my five classes. The most FAQ by polite people who hear where I teach is, "What grade?" The answer is every grade. If anyone wants more details of my schedule just ask.
Valentines day came up in a couple of classes. I shared some of my research. I was surprised when my research revealed. Here's an article on the topic (along with other secular holidays, which also came up). And here's one that quotes Rabbi Michael Broyde, author of the first article, in an incomplete, misleading manner. Other secular holidays came up and I shared my analogy, which you can see on this post. One student said, "I like that better than what teachers usually say, it makes sense." Another asked, "Did you think of that yourself?"
I just received this picture from a teacher friend, who got it from a teacher friend, and so on, and so on...
Another friend shared this poem by e.e. cummings:
love is a place & through this place of love move (with brightness of peace) all places
yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds
"Here's a term that might not seem too musical: 'immediacy behavior.' Educators use it to describe the way a teacher acts to gain the trust of his or her students. Open body language, an engaging way of speaking, a warm, direct gaze — these cues, as much as any words uttered, forge the connection that makes learning possible." [From the NPR Music's review of Sinead O'Connor's "How Aboout I'll Be Me (And You Be You)?
On Shabbos the mom of the house asked the table to say their favorite/what they considered most important of the asseret hadibrot. Her second grader son said kibbud av va'em. When asked to explain, he said that if not for that then kids would eat giant whole bags of candy and get really sick. Reaffirms my belief that kids and adults too like not being able to do whatever they want. Freedom must include rules. As Wynton Marsalis says, "There's no freedom in freedom, there's only freedom in structure."
The Beach Boys, last night at the Grammys did their biggest selling song ever, according to what I read. It was also a song that cause great contention within the group. Brian Wilson experimented in this song by using a different sound, which included the unusual instrument - the electro-theremin. A fight in the group ensued about whether they should break from a formula of song style that had worked for them till this point. Go know.
The story is well known: Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzinski had a guest at his Shabbos table who knocked over a cup of wine. Rav Cham Ozer knocked over his cup and said, "Hmm, it must be a shaky table." Everyone tells this story and makes light of it (a friend of mine's father jokes that the carpenter who made the table was also a guest that Shabbos and was offended) and yet I think we undersell it. The natural reaction of most people when someone else drops their cup is to hold theirs more tightly or move it from the edge of the table.
Tiredness is a world all its own, a whirlwind that has led up to the moment when you simply must sleep. That moment has come. Good night and may G-d bless.
10:30 AM - Some recently shared with me that they'd be hosting a controversial speaker, but they'll cover up the controversy by not having the speaker not speak about the controversial parts. Why not just get a different speaker? Why do something, in general, when there are good odds that it will hurt you, and the best you can most likely do is break even. This is a question we bloggers wonder about, or should wonder about, all the time.
10:47 AM - I'm seeing the dentist soon. My weeks get intense and my dentist is open on Sunday, so that's when I go.
I noticed and thought of this during the Torah reading of Parshat Yitro on Shabbos: When Yitro tells Moshe his idea about the judges it says Moshe heard him - "vayishma Moshe." This is a parallel to the famous opening words of the parsha saying that Yitro heard about what G-d did for the Jews. If you hear, then you will be heard. This is why The Shma is so important...
2:06 PM - I saw my dentist and seem to be - beli ayin harah - in the clear for a while.
I'm doing errands in the big city. I haveWish I Were Here by Sarah Shapiro with me. I am always so taken by her writing. She allows herself to be vulnerable and shares from her kishkas. Today I read her recollection of being unsure if someone was asking for charity or not, because they exuded such happiness. The she described her touching conversation with the poor woman in Geulah, who in fact was asking for money. She describes different people's lives and the elusive pursuit - that we all share - of happiness.
I'm writing a test that I'm giving tomorrow. Something abouttesting, actually many things about it that I'm not in love with. Still, I am in love withteaching.
I just came up with this thought while writing a comment response: People talk about treatment of others as though it were peripheral to life; how we treat othersislife.
Sitting in Starbucks;
the store is dark and noisy
filled with refugees
2:49 PM - A week ago at this time I was waiting on twenty hotel rooms. And then I heard a survivor of genocide speak. And then I watched the Super Bowl.
I leaned a lot from the Super Bowl and the surrounding coverage. I learned that "you can't throw and catch." I get why people like football. I didn't hate the two games I watched in the past month, the only two football games I've seen in my life. Still, I don't get why it's called football. I think that baoy-ball or injury ball would be better names.
5:36 PM - Ran some errands, ate, wrote a poem about the just late Whitney Houston and just returned to the home office. Just discovered that my friend and colleague Rock Davis, story teller extraordinaire wrote a book calledThe Apple Tree's Discovery.
7:11 PM - I'm thinking of putting out my second book of haiku and yet I feel like it's not most people's thing. Sigh.
I bumped in to a student today who graduated a couple of years ago from the school I teach in. He asked, "How often do you see the fruits of your labor?" It's a good question regarding life in general. Dear reader, write an essay on that.
Here's aparsha thought. One of the recent sweet moments in my teaching came along when a nice quiet boy approached me and asked if I could help him, outside of class, with a speech for his brother's Bar Mitzvah. He wasn't so taken by the idea I link to here. What I came up with for him was another Rashi on the firstpasuk. Rashi notes, commenting on the words,asher tasim lifneihem, that Moshe was being commanded to teach the Torah as many times as was needed, in the clearest way possible - like a set table. This is lesson for life, to keep and share the Torah in an organized and clear manner.
8:08 PM - I am reconstructing my bathroom. Early last week my super fixed my two broken sinks and repainted the damaged ceilings and walls, and while he was at it, the rest of the bathroom. There seems to be a rule in the minds of many that workers need not out back together what they took apart. So, slowly, slowly, I've been putting that room together again.
8:28 PM - That talk with my (former) student today still lingers. He was very much into the idea that students should show appreciation to their high school teachers. He cited a YU Rosh Yeshiva who tells his students that there are other rabbis who were with them earlier and more consistently in their lives. That Rav tells his students to choose one of the earlier candidates to perform their weddings. This student expressed interest in visiting and speaking with my class. I look forward.
8:35 PM - My colleague who rides me to work just called. He's going to another colleague's son's bris in the morning, leaving around six... He's parked far away, which raised the issue for me of walking. Who's have thunk that a trip and a fall in July would still be an issue the next February?
9:07 PM - Time keeps slipping. Internal life churns on, thoughts and reflections flow steadily and give me some satidfaction satisfaction Externals are harder. I took care of laundry, ate, and and and and but if I write one poem it boosts me more than a thousand errands.
There's a good book namedErrands
As I went outbefore my neighbors' mother and mother in law told me that their daughter fell on Monday and is in a body cast for six weeks, and she and they are thankful to G-d that it wasn't worse. Hashem Yeracheim. Please.
10:12 PM - Time slips away.
10:19 PM - Just discovered this amazing story:
G-d gathers all the animals and says: “I want to hide something from humans until they are ready for it - the realization that they create their own reality - ” “Give it to me. I'll fly it to the moon,” says the eagle. “No, one day soon they will go there and find it.” “How about the bottom of the ocean?” asks the salmon. “No, they will find it there too.” “I will bury it in the great plains,” says the buffalo. “They will soon dig and find it there.” “Put it inside them,” says the wise grandmother mole. “Done,” says the Creator. “It is the last place they will look.” — Native American Legend
11:18 PM -Whitney Houston died last night, I wonder why I care,
In part it's because it's a loss of human life of which I've been made aware
However, it goes deeper. Was she any person? Was it any life?
She was a strong, vulnerable person, weak powerhouse, addict, abused wife
Ifind myself saddened, intrigued, enlightened, and confounded
The opposite of strong is not weak,
they are co-exist as partners, with a magical mystique
Nothing like children, we move on to the future now,
Trying to learn to balance the I and the Thou
Eyes forward, we move ahead,
Keeping it together with invisible thread
Yes, yes
G-d, please, bless
11:59 PM - Good night and G-d bless, I write, seven plus years into my blogging life.
If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.
That poem comes to mind, regarding putting life in perspective. Sometimes we (I) wonder what we've accomplished in our lives... I know I've tried, and I believe I may have even on occasion actually eased the burden of others.
I've written several times here about my Hebrew name Natah (Part 1 of My Name Is Natah, Part 2, Part 3) . My grandparents on the side of my mom (of blessed memory) were from Galicia, and their Jewish first names were unique to their location. My grandfather was Binyamin Maneleh and my uncle was Shmayah Yonah. My mom was Freida Maryam.
Our names make us unique. The ever honest, open, sincere, pious, articulate, and integrity filled Sarah Shapiro captures the power of a name is this poem:
Belated Thank You Note
By Sarah Shapiro From Don't You Know It's A Perfect World? (1998)
Why did I always feel so strange, as if there were something I ought to change, as if I didn't belong where I was, that I couldn't do what everyone does?
Because my name was Sarah.
Why did I always feel left out, wanting to join but ever in doubt? Nancy and Donna and Cindy and Jane never seemed to treat me the same
Because my name was Sarah.
What was it that told me I'd been born unawares in the land of my birth but my fate wasn't theirs? It wasn't my clothes, it wasn't their stares, it wasn't that Sarah from Minsk had died. What was it that bothered, a thorn in my side and why was I hiding and why had I lied? What was it that told me that this place, my hometown, wasn't really my home, wasn't really my town?
My grandmother's name was Sarah.
Why do I thank my parents today? For giving what constantly gave me away. In every roll call in every class I'd stand and feel transparent as glass, forever the only one in school whose ancient name broke an unspoken rule.
Why do I send you kisses today? For the name that wasn't afraid to say: "I'm different. You know it. Why not just declare that I'm Jewish. I'm Jewish! My name is Sarah.
Thoughts fill my head and soul,my inner life overflows, I wish I could just keep writing, and yet it's time for bed, despite the stream of consciousness in my head. One of the things I noticed in the posts I linked to about my name was the comments. Very much appreciated, always.
12:38 PM - Rabbi Jonathan Sachs was at a convention in New York where he took a walk in Central park. He writes about what he saw there:
"New Yorkers tend to be health fiends and there are always lots of them out in the park, having a jog. One of them, though, obviously didn't want to miss a minute from business, so he was wearing a hands-free mobile phone, into which he was talking, trying to tie up a deal. There he was, running, arguing, negotiating, and gesticulating wildly. It was the first time I've seen someone trying to keep fit and risking a heart attack all at the same time."
I've been thinking a lot lately about taking better care of my health, and losing weight. It's not a question of appearance, that doesn't so much concern me (though it does somewhat); it's more corncer regarding the toxic waist. Yesterday I walked a mile around the school track. I'd like to do it again now, but I have work to do and I have a ride at 1:15. I also have a sick friend that I last spoke to very briefly two weeks ago. I think he's appreciate receiving a call...
4:21 PM - Erev Shabbos is an under appreciated day. Shabbos is on her way, and we move forward to greet her. We approach with excitement, concealed under our cool exterior. Erev Shabbos is the day of preparing for Shabbos. Like life, the meaning of today rests in the reality that we infuse it with and in our anticipation of an even greater tomorrow.
4:55 PM - Parshat Yitro is known, in particular, for ten things - usually referred to in English as the Ten Commandments. The Gemorah (Brachot 12a) discusses the proposition of reciting the Aseret HaDibrot daily in daveing, as we recite Shmah. The Yerushalmi (Brachot 1:3) shows how each of the dibrot is included in a line of Shmah (Hashem Elokeinu = Anochi, Hashem Echad = Lo Yihiyeh, etc.)
Errand - A journey made for a special purpose; an expedition, a mission. (The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary)
3:49 PM - I am thankful that often I read and write and teach and relate and listen and can say what I did in a day. But so far today I listened to a speaker and sat through an award ceremony and ate lunch and packed and waited to go and then went and then stopped and then went again and now me and my luggage and my yearning spirit are home. I feel that I could never do a job where a lot of my responsibility was to just be at a function and accompany the boss and walk around and shake hands. That seems to be a job, and it seems to pay well enough to support an Orthodox Jewish family. I think I would pay to not do a job in which I wasn't clearly connecting with others and able to show and say and see and measure what I did.
4:34 PM - I wish I got a feeling of fulfillment from calling the super and sorting mail and answering and initiating work emails. I could do a thousand errands in a day and feel like I did nothing. Then I'll write down one thought, like the one Richard Joel cited this morning (his son heard it on TV and told his dad, "It sounds like something you would say"): The only way to make a dream come true is to wake up.
President Joel gave a nice, cohesive talk focusing on taking dreams and making them real. He shared a line that his son heard on TV that prompted said son to say, "It sounds like something you would say." The saying was - "To make a dream come true you have to wake up." He tied this in with the fact that according to the Netziv Shmot was know as Sefer Sheini. In Shmot there are no dreams, as it is the story of the actualization of the dreams of Sefer Breishit.
5:08 PM - Curfew was 12:30 AM-ish for the students I was chaperoning since Sunday. It feels like I was gone a long time. Exhausting. The three hour wait for rooms on Sunday didn't help. Now I'm home and the work is great. Never ends. And "time keeps on slippin' into the future."
5:24 PM - Just set up dinner with a friend for next week, following a meeting which I set up a couple of hours ago.
The super came by to work on the sink clog and leak (sic) I reported two weeks ago. He's working while talking on his cell. I need to catch him and give him a tour of other issues.
5:35 PM - The kitchen sink can't be used till tomorrow. The plumber and painter should be here. Francisco managed to get a plug out that was stuck in the outlet. He said he'd never seen that before. Me neither.
6:19 PM - I miss Model UN, a community built, concretized, and demolished in such a long short time. It was a singular and outstanding (and tiring) three days.
10:03 PM - I just got back from several places. I went to a Weight Watchers meeting in my neighborhood for the first time. It felt less awkward than the only other place I've gone to - on the Upper West Side. The workers at this place were concerned and - at moments - it felt almost cozy. On the UWS they have said things I don't think they should say - like asking me if I enjoyed gaining the weight I gained.
After the meeting (meetings - I went to a special post meeting meeting about the new new and improved program) I shopped. Then I walked about 15 blocks. Then I went to the Sefarim Sale. I discreetly asked where poetry was. They showed me. I didn't see my book. I circled the place. Finally I told a dear (former) student working there that I was wondering where my book was. He showed me. It's right near the cash register, up front - in a special section... It's an honor just to be nominated.
10:41 PM - Here's the story behind my purchases during my first visit of this year to the SOY sale:
"Neshamot Chadashot" By Yitzchak Meir and Friends (CD) $12.98 - Every year I tell the music guy that I like mellow stuff like Yosef Karduner, Chaim Dovid, Carlebach. This has fared me well. This was this year's recommendation.
From Optimism to Hope By Jonathan Sachs $20.72 - A compact, slim softcover volume of about 80 thoughts for the day, each around a page long.
Halachah MiMekorah - Birkat Hamazon U'Zemirot Shabbat By Rav Yoseif Tzvi Rimon (Rebbe in Gush Etzion Yeshivah, Rav in Alon Shevut) $5.00 - A beautiful hardcover bentcher filled with halachot, riddles, and more. (I feel like I maybe should have bought all they had of these as it would make a nice gift. It's a shame it's being sold so cheap. I hope the author made some money on this fine work (though I have the feeling authors don't often make money on books, particularly when they are out of the box).
Torah Tapestries By Shira Smiles $24.77- Recently I helped a student with her Israel essay. She wrote about a biblical character she'd want to meet. She wrote about Batya Bat Pharoh, in large part because her name is Batyah. A lot of her inspiration came from an essay by Shira Smiles that I found inspirational and spot on. I want to see more, so I bought the set of two large and pretty volumes.
11:18 PM - Just discovered this:
11:59 PM - May G-d bless us all with everything good, and may we somehow bless Him by doing what we should.
6:01 PM - I need to be back down in the YUNMUN lobby for our group picture in a few minutes. I need a little Torah and I wish to write here...
On Shabbos Dr. Scott Goldberg quoted the Chozeh of Lublin as saying that, "It is impossible to tell people which way to take. For one way to serve G-d is through learning, another through prayer, another through fasting and still another through eating. Everyone should carefully observe what way his heart draws him to, and then choose his way with all his strength." (His source was Buber's first volume of Tales of the Chasidim, page 313)
6:28 PM - My team is not ready for their close up.
Rabbi, Dr. Meir Soloveichik addressed the YUNMUN assembly this morning right after Shacharis. He quoted and embellished a nice vort of the Malbim: When Moshe is asked "mah zeh beyadechah - what is in your hand?" he says that he is holding a mateh - staff. The thing is that as a shepherd, which Moshe was at the time, the word he should have used for what he was holding was a makeil. He did not use the terminology of his trade because he did not define himself by his professional occupation. He used a different word, a broader word, a word which implied stretching himself. This could be what caused G-d to choose Moshe as leader.
10:45 PM and Beyond - A lot going on. I have new sympathy for students retaining information. As advisers we've had two meetings and four lectures.
Some thoughts about Torah learning:
Rava (Yalkut Shim'oni on Tehillim) said "Le'olam yilameid adam Torah mimi shehu chafeitz." This is generally translated as, "A person should always learn Torah from someone that they want to learn Torah from." The last part of the English may or may not be inferred from the Hebrew. The literal meaning of the Hebrew is that "A person should always learn Torah from someone that they want." Something must be added for the sentence to make sense, but maybe it's something else. Maybe the blank that needs to be filled in is, someone that they want - to be around. Not just to learn Torah from but as a mentor, role model, friend, i.e. you should learn Torah from someone that you like.
On a related note, Rebbe said, "Ein adam lomeid Torah eleh bemah shelibo chafeitz," which is generally interpreted to mean that a person should learn the Torah that his heart desires. A careful reading can lead to this translation: "A person should learn Torah with that which his heart desires," which itself can be understood on various levels. It could mean that one should use all the helpful tools that you wish to use to help you successfully study Torah. It could also mean - take all that you are inclined toward in your heart, all that you're into, and apply it to to your absorbing of Torah. It is also possible that rather than being advice, as it's generally taken, this could be a description of reality. When one accepts Torah into their kishkas they are utilizing their natural inclinations. Also, on the conventional pshat level: one succeeds in learning Torah only when they connect with and enjoy that which they are learning.
6:40 PM - Jacqueline Murekatete, one of the students featured in this article link, just addressed YU Model UN (YUNMUN). Her story and message are powerful and inspiring.
She used the expression fortunate refuge, which loosely inspired this: Fortunate reform arrives for the fortunate; pray for good fortune.
Now it's time for dinner and maybe a super bowl. 8:18 PM - I'm always thinking back, seconds, minutes, hours, days months years... And I am now - back to a few minutes ago before I brought my stuff up to my room. Back to the people I've bumped into here that I wasn't expecting to see. Back.
The commercials have not grabbed me, from the bunch I've seen. There was one where parents get a kid a little fridge but he thinks it's the car on the street beyond the little gift on the lawn. OK. But they showed this during the Giant -49ers game two weeks ago. I thought these were supposed to be brand new?
A commercial just came on. It's half time... and it's half time in America too... All that matters now is how do we come from behind...how do we win? It turns out at the end that it's Clint Eastwood talking and it's an ad for Chrysler. I can't help but be - by definition - in the present. The second half just started. It's a close low score of 10-9. But the last time these teams played each other the score at the half was zero - zero. And then it shot up in the second part of the game.
8:44 PM - Right now there's a commercial for Acura. It features Seinfeld and a lot of characters. Leno appears at the end as the villain. I guess this will get buzz. I think they put them on YouTube as soon as they're done on TV. Here. 9:09 PM - They just aired the Ferris Bueller Honda commercial. Too bad it was all over the internet last week.
9:22 PM - It's not really football, more like body ball, or injury ball. It probably shouldn't be legal. Padding shmadding, it's unsafe. I can't lie. In the same way that a really good action movie can hold the attention of a non fan like me. A big , close, good game like this can grab me, to a large extent. 9:33 PM -Announcer quote of the night: "They should just have these two teams play all the time." Is it an unfair advantage that the Patriots to be playing for the memory of someone dear to them? Someone named Manningham just did something really good. This will be a play for the ages - if the Giants can came back and win. 9:41 PM - The game, commercials, and typing is pretty much holding my attention. Maybe it should be called Time-Out Ball. 9:45 PM - The Giants just got a touchdown. But it's like a chess game, the Patriots wanted them to get it, to buy time. But Brady is injured... Brady wants to have the ball with 57 seconds and eighty yards left. Because if Manning has the ball with a minute left... 10:35 PM - On Shabbos I was introduced nonchalantly to a book, via a footnote on a source sheet. It looks like a good book, big time: The Courage To Teach. In his introduction, author Parker J. Palmer writes, "This book is for teachers who have good days and bad — and whose bad days bring the suffering that comes only from something one loves. It is for teachers who refuse to harden their hearts, because they love learners, learning, and the teaching life." A quote was from this book included on his source sheet and read by Scott J. Goldberg, P.H.D, Director of the Institute for University-School Partnership, Azrieli Graduate School, Yeshiva University. The shiur was entitled "Nurturing and Nourishing Neshamos: Keys to Developing Spirituality." Here's Palmer's passage: "If we want to support each other's inner lives, we must remember a simple truth, the human soul does not want to be fixed, it wants simply to be seen and heard. If we want to see and hear a person's soul, there is another truth we must remember: the soul is like a wild animal - tough resilient and yet shy. When we go crashing through the woods shouting for it to come out so we can help it, the soul will stay in hiding. But if we are willing to sit quietly and wait for a while, the soul may show itself."
10:21 AM - Why do I write here, I kinda-sorta know. Perhaps I want to be folk-famous like Henry David Thoreau. I just like to vent and it's hard to vent alone, so I plug into this outlet to get into my zone...
I am getting picked up for Model UN by a dear colleague at 1 PM (though I suspect her to be early) (and I tend to run late, so I have to pretend she's arriving earlier) (Shh, don't tell me).
I want to go to Weight Watchers and weigh in. I've been gaining lately. Have to own that. It's weird when I see people I haven't seen in a while, like at last night's dinner - and they say I look great and ask if I've lost weight.
Not lately.
Two times ago when I gained a few pounds the weigh-er inner asked if I enjoyed it. Last time the woman tried to be discrete but instead made it excruciating. She was uncharacteristically silent while she very slowly did whatever she had to do until she finally handed me the sticker with my weight gain on it. As she handed it to me - she broke her silence, the kind of silence you keep when someone died and you want the other person to know but you don't want to say it with words - and exuding quiet shock asked, "How long has it been since you saw us last?"
I think the Weight Watcher weigher inners need to move quickly and quietly, give you your number and done.
6:51 PM - Not home from Shul long. Shabbos is still ebbing away. Have to leave in an hour-ish to my school's dinner. Tomorrow, off to YU Model UN. At some point want to write up some Torah from Shabbos. Maybe I'll dip my toe in the water now.
Last night, at the YU-Carlebach minyan, Rav Dovid Miller spoke briefly. He noted that the seemingly same line appears twice, almost in a row: They crossed the sea, while on dry land. He cited a Chassidic approach (I didn't catch the name) that the first line is describing the historical occurrence; they walked through the dry land in the middle of the parted sea. The second line is telling us that when they continued their lives and walked on the regular earth, they carried with them the experience of Kriat Yam Suf, and part of them continued to walk through the sea even as they were living on dry land.
To me a wow.
7:55 PM - Two weeks ago, January 22, 2012 was a big day for me. I watched the first football game of my life. It was not bad. The N.Y. (N.J?) Giants won because they they had a great calm quarterback (little bro Eli), a bunch of good players (particularly a guy named Cruz who played with Eli at his special training camp when there was a strike and not everyone would come out) and the other team made two big mistakes - one that seemed like a total, unavoidable fluke, the other a regrettable fumble that probably won't easily be lived down by the guy who made it. Both mistakes were made by the same guy. In a nice follow up story, he seemed to keep his head held high, and his team stood behind him as a team should (despite death threats from fans). I'll be at YU Model UN (YUNMUN) tomorrow where about 900 people will watch the game. Maybe I'll watch. It won't be the same as two weeks ago for a lot of reasons. For me what was most special about that game was that I watched it with my dad (HSLABW).
11:59 plus - At the dinner a wonderful couple were the main honorees.
The principal said a nice vort based on Gemorah. The Gemorah seems to say that Avraham insisted that the brachah in Shmoneh Esrei that addresses the forefathers end with just his name. The deeper meaning - according to Rabbi Norman Lamm - may be that Avraham wanted his midah, the midah of chesed to be the key thread of character for the Jewish people. Gevurah and Emet are important but always must be colorized by chesed. He said that while the honored teacher is known for his emet and gevurah, it is his Torat chesed that reigns in the classroom.
I'm falling asleep, which doesn't mean I'll go to sleep. I will finish up this post. "Just one more thing..."
One of my classes is greeted by a haiku of the day on the board when they walk in. The other day two students beat me to it and wrote one before I could:
What a mystery
What a thrilling life of ours
Always a surprise
1:01 PM - 3 classes, one guidance/mentoring meeting, paperwork, and, and and... Now, I sit in my office.
1:06 PM - Just returned a call to someone. This someone wants something and feels like they're not so straight up and straight forward.
Earlier this week I had the pleasure of speaking briefly with Rabbi David Ebner when he visited my school. Wow. There are not many rabbis who appreciate poetry for real. He does. I asked him if there was a third book on the way. He said that he is writing new poems and yet can't comment on when or if they will be shared in a book. Then he quoted Galway Kinnel's poem title, "There are things I tell only to the poem." That was to me a wow, as is the case with much of what Rabbi Ebner says. When he talks I listen. When he talks I google. I searched for that poem, but it's not available on line - unless you subscribe to Harper's. I looked into Kennel. Here's an interesting quote from him:
“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”
I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.
4:02 PM - Just walked over my threshold and here I am. Home. A colleague asked me on the way out if I could believe that it's only been a week since vacation. I thought he was mistaken.
Here's a poem I wrote late last night:
12:58 A.M.
How do we think of the things we do?
How much of it’s G-d, how much is you?
It’s a spectacular curiosity - this writing thing
Words change things unexpectedly, like an engagement ring
Do we select our thoughts, or are they divine?
I guess it’s complicated like an electromagnetic delay line
Are some things imponderable, can’t be figured out?
Are there phantom, eternal disciplines no text book exists about?
I want to discover the answers to peace and love and hate
But I’d best go to sleep, so I don’t add to the unemployment rate
4:24 PM - Soon Shabbos, and with her the fleeing of the week, the sinking of sorrow, the blossoming of joy, a second soul for everyone, a melody which enters the kishkas, and and and and and and and.
Rabbi Boaz Mori just shared this thought with me, from the Moaznayim LeTorah. Why did the Kohein Gadol wear two pieces that seemed to have the same point? Both the Tzitz, worn on his forehead, and the Urim VeTumim, worn on his chest? He says that the kohein needed to internalize his connection to G-d. This was represented and also actually achieved through the Urim Vetumim, which rested on his heart. He then needed, and was able to, spread the glory of G-d to others, which was represented and brought about through the Tzitz, with the name of G-d, displayed on his head for all to see.
Why do we need to wear Tefillin, the seemingly same box and contents, on our hand and also on our head? This can be answered by comparing the Tefillin we wear with the garments that adorned the Kohein Gadol as we explained them above. The Tefillin Shel Yad are worn in a private way, facing our heart, covered by our sleeve. The Tefillin Shel Rosh are placed on the top of our head. First we take in our personal connection with G-d, and then we share it with the world. In two places the Gemorah in Brachot applies to Tefillin Shel Rosh the verse in the Torah which states that people in the world will be in awe when they see us. The Tefillin Shel Rosh represent and actualize our purpose of bringing the people of the world world closer to G-d.
I am blessed to have some success as a comedian and humorist. This trait has helped me in life. It inspired the following:
Your sense of humor
Will drop by and save your life
If you let her in
In life, sense of humor or not, challenges will come our way. And we have to breathe and move forward.
Talking with some people, for me, is like a punch that always hits harder and hurts more after than I thought it would before. And yet, I need to reframe as much as possible, stand up for myself as much as possible, and breathe and move on in ways that may seem impossible in my imagination.
Today I taught all of Parshat Beshalach three times. I have an approach to the whole parshah and gave it over to my classes. One student, in an honors class, said, "Can we do this kind of sweeping approach every time? I hate learning in detail." I taught it because it's what we're up to in Shmot (it just happens to be the parshah.)
I watched The Cove; it's worth seeing. I didn't know that it was about the trainer of Flipper. Cool. And sad. I watched it because it was about to expire on Netflix streaming. Now I'm watching the last episode of Cosby. I watched the first one, skipped the middle eight years. I missed the eighties, culturally, so I was curious to give it a look-see before it expires as well.
As is my way, I'm writing this in spurts; I plan to push publish before the night is up. It's weird - even though it's just a few years old, blogging feels to have died out, at least, largely, in regard to this blog.
Today a student very politely and shyly asked me if I could help him with a Dvar Torah for a family simchah. It kind of made my day. I've done a bunch of these kind of things, look forward to doing more.
A dear colleague and friend is fond of a scene from Mary Poppins as it comes through for him in the clutch. As they're leaving the family's home, because all is now good there - thanks to Mary - her umbrella handle talking bird makes a frustrated remark. The bird says something like, "Now they'll go back to their lives like normal and forget that you were ever here." To which Mary replies, "As it should be."
That reminds me of a story another friend of mine told me. He tells the students in his Israel school that as they move through life they will be close with different role models and teachers and that's as it should be. He tells them that it's good to stay in touch, but if when they're in college and beyond, their main go-to-people remain exclusively their Israel school people - who helped them so much at a certain age stage - then the school has not done their job right. People are supposed to get what they need from their helpers and teachers at various stages of life, be appreciative (be very appreciative) and move on. As it should be.
On a related unrelated note (a tidbit about someone who studies with and is very close to a former student of mine):
Recently I mentioned to a friend of mine that Mayim Bialik was Modern Orthodox and said friend replied, "I think she identifies herself as Conservadox," This 6 minute interview gives a good picture of where she's at Jewish-ly.
I just googled writing prompts. I'm going to try the one that suggests closing your eyes briefly and conjuring up three things, then opening your eyes and writing about the three things.
1. One of my earliest memories. My mom was preparing gifts for a grab bag for my fourth birthday. As she wrapped the items, one caught my eye. It was a shiny, red ball. I asked if I could have it on the spot. She said, "No, it's for the party." I was disappointed. At the party, when it came to prize time, my mother showed me that she had put the ball aside, saved it for me, and now she gifted me with it. For many years afterward, even as it started to peel and develop holes, I kept and cherished that rubber ball sized, spongy, red ball. And bow I have the memory.
2.
In seventh grade my classmate Ira brought in and freely shared hundreds of stickers that his dad gave him from his work. They were pink and yellow butterflies with a human looking smiley face in the middle. (Pictured above is an actual one of the stickers, which I placed and saved till today on a Curad metal band-aid container, which is filled with my button collection.) He had giant rolls of them - on that bland kind of paper that stickers get put upon - and as I remember, he generously gave people as many of these cool stickers as they wanted. I was big fan of those butterflies, and I liked to cut them and reshape them in my own style.
In the middle of the summer after that school year I was riding the bus home from Elmont Jewish Center day camp. One day two sisters, Lisa and Robin, were talking to each other and looking at me. They were also in my school and from my community/shul. Finally the one encouraged the other to come over to me and ask her question. I was quite curious when she approached. And then she asked, "You know how the butterfly sticker on your notebook was different? Was that the way you got it from Ira or did you change it yourself?"
3. I vaguely remember being taught about a concordance in elementary school. I first used one when I was 17, learning in Israel.
I graduated in January 1980 and went to BMT from January to June. I wanted to learn through the summer and chose Aish HaTorah because they're open for Bein HaZemanim - the conventional yeshiva vacation. I chose Aish HaTorah, still a relatively young, small, unknown place - far from the household name it is today. At the time, I took a liking to their content and style.
In 1980 Aish HaTorah had no set dorm, instead using various apartments spread across the Old City of Jerusalem to house their students. I was in an old and moldy one. My friend who made the same move I did for the summer was in a newer building.
One of his room-mates seemed old to me. This is always tricky, how to figure out how old someone was who you thought was old when you were very young. Some people I thought were old when I was a kid were in their twenties. But there was a room-mate in this apartment my friend was in who genuinely seemed older than the average "Aish"- age. His hair was all gray. which I've learned generally means that one is over 40.
This fellow had an extensive sefarim collection that took up a good deal of the public living area that one encountered upon entering this dorm. One day I was waiting to meet my friend and perused the books while hanging around the vestibule. I noticed a concordance on the bookshelf.
I picked the concordance off the shelf on a whim, having decided that I'd settle an old score once and for all. I looked up the word natah (nun - tet - ayin) to see if it is ever used as a noun. This mattered to me because the word is my Hebrew name. I found that there is one place in Tanach, in Iyov, where the word means a plant. I have carried that with me since then, always telling people that my name is used in Iyov. I made that my pasuk to recite after Shmoneh Esrei (I don't know of one that starts with a nun and ends with an ayin). The fellow's bookshelves were very orderly, I got the feeling he was possessive and protective of his books. I've always had some regret for looking at that concordance without asking for permission.
I bought a sefer called Darchei No'am, in Israel a bunch of years ago; it's by the present Yerushalayim Slonimer Rebbe, successor of the Nesivos Shalom. Here are some of what I got out of his essay on Parshat Bo.
He cites the known approach that we were were zocheh to be redeemed because of specific good things that we held onto. Then he questions the tradition that we needed to receive and keep 2 mitzvot - milah and Pesach before we could be worthy of having G-d lift us out of Egypt. The idea he develops is that even though we had zechuyot, like being careful about arayot, we needed mitzvot. Mitzvot are the kli - container - that holds the spiritual light of mitzvot - "ner mitzvah vetorah ohr" - like a candle holds physical light, mitzvot hold the physical light of Torah. He says this is the idea of naaseh preceding nishmah and the proclamation of "na'aseh venishmah" being the key to accepting Torah, which is said to be a profound secret that the Jews intuited, the understanding that the kli, the mitzvot, come first as a way to hold the broad, amorphous, spiritual light. This is also the idea of needing to have ma'asim be merubeh over mitzvot (as per the mishnah in Avot); the kli needs to be large and prepared to hold the chochmah/Torah. This is why we are told to be like a tree with more roots than branches, because the roots are the kli - the framework and foundation - that allows the tree to live on...
