Hat trick/Chazakah

 I'm starting to type at 8:43 PM, have a Zoom Yahrtzeit gathering at night and a friend said he's getting back to me before then.  meanwhile I have writing/typing to do.  it soothes me to write.  Harnd writing is better, but clicking the keys as fast as I can, which is not that fast, also has some healing power of release for me.

Years ago when more people, like people I don't know, as in an audience of visitors read this blog someone commented when I mentioned having watched The West Wing. It was a judgmental comment, at least that's how I judged it.

That made me think of this:

"Judgmental comments"
come across as judgmental
based on our judgment

I write a lot of haiku, have another blog where I've posted/stored well over a thousand of them.  Also share them on Facebook. I did.  Till this week when Facebook crashed in the world and inside of me.  There's been a series in the WSJ anout FB that I read an article about yesterday in the NYT.  The times' writer says that Facebook is failing, falling.  Could be.  What do I know? He said that in the recent hearings when politicians questioned the Facebook people they were trying to call them on their stuff.  But it looked to that journalist (for me the word journalist is to the word writer kind of like what the word educator is to the word teacher.  The former sounds inflated and fake, the latter sounds like the real deal. when Nechama Leibowitz said to put only one word on her tombstone it was teacher.  Is there even a fancy/fake word like educator in Hebrew?)

It's almost the yahrtzeit of Rabbi Jonathan Sachs.  I was not taken by him, the way many people were, while he was on this plane.  After he moved forward in worlds i gave him more of a chance and was moved by much of what he wrote and how he wrote it. one example: "We live life looking forward, but we understand it only looking back." That's from Judaism's Life Changing Ideas, page 43.

The 9PM Zoom has started and the person doing it is needing a moment, so I'm taking a moment, or more than one.  may multitask and write here, even while at the Zoom Yahrtzeit.

Lately my eyes have been feeling tired, and looking tired, and there's been some kind of a twitchy thing that started and has lasted for a bit.  May G-d bless my health in general and my eyes in particular. It's been a few years since I saw an eye Dr, and I wasn't so pleased with how that went (though I was grateful for a clean bill of health).

It's the tenth Yahrtzeit of my friend's mom.  It's beautiful the way she pays tribute.  An old dear friend, a woman probably in her seventies, maybe eighties is remembering my friend's mom's zaniness, and her poetic soul.  She remembers missing a Sweet 16, and my friend's mom not going to the party till after she visited her and made sure she was OK.  She remembers her as super athletic, in The Leader's Club, in H.S.

Balance and boundaries are not easy for me.

On the Zoom I see what it looks like when I touch my hand to my chest, to my heart. I do that as a way of showing feeling: empathy, gratitude, care.  Earlier tonight a teaser, who also happens to be a prominent rabbi, made fun of that gesture of mine. I wish I could learn to not be hurt, or be less hurt, by the things others say and do to me.

Yageil libi biyeshuatechah, is interpreted by R Shlomo Katz, rifing on his mentor, to be about rejoicing in the future.  He says it implies that if you believe that you will rejoice in the future, you can choose to rejoice now.

11:30 PM - Signing off, I wonder who might ever see this, thinking that very few if any people look here.  And yet this is now going out there.  Good night, and may G-d bless you.