Sunday, February 05, 2017

After Dad

My dad passed on to the next stage of life, the one after this one here on earth, two weeks ago today.
Here's my thought of right now:

Maybe the hardest thing about mourning ones who's moved on is truly getting the specificity of the person and not falling into cliche'd stereotypes of their role or type.

This is hard for the mourner to do, and even harder for the consolers; to hear and see who the person actually was in nuanced and not always neat real life, as opposed to the idea of who that person was in an idealized, imagined generalization.

This is also the hardest thing about loving and relating to people who are alive - getting them in their realness as opposed to taking them in in your projection of how you want/need/happen to see them.

And this is also hard for those supporting others in relationships in real life - hearing who and what they are actually dealing with, as opposed to what and who you want or need them to be relating to.


Blogger Groucho said...

Neil, my condolences to you and Barry on the loss of your father. I have fond memories of being in your home, and feeling very comfortable there.
HaMakom yenachem es'chem b'soch sh'ar aveilei Tziyon Virushalayim.


February 7, 2017 at 12:15 PM  
Anonymous the B cousins said...

Neil, we were wondering whether any gathering is planned for the sheloshim of your father.

February 12, 2017 at 3:10 AM  

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