Friday, January 29, 2016

All There Really May Be is This Moment


OK, here we go... free writing, i don't know what to write and yet and  yet and yet I write now for release for catharsis.  The first time I heard that word was in a piece by Rabbi Soloveichik. If i'm no mistaken, in that piece he writes something along the lines of how in the whitewashed walls of the halls of the hospital where his wife died he could not find G-d.

Of the  various people who have come to me for advise over the years, one couple one couple comes to mind. Each having previously been in several relationships, they were seriously debating what to do with the one they were in with each other.  I felt, as I often do that people need to face their own stuff in order to build a relationship with someone else.  As a friend told me twenty years ago- you have to be one before you can be 2.  That friend has since been married and divorced.  We always judge, but The Rabbis teach us to not judge harshly...

Here's Catharsis in full, online. I wish Rabbi Soleveichik spoke more to me.

I make the mistake of seeing someone not own something they're doing, and then i assume they are aware of this, but that's the whole idea of their not owning it... they don't want to admit...

I exercised today and saw I was then dowm 0.2 pounds.  And I thought, if i lose that much every day forever one day my body will disappear.  Then i remembered that one day my body will disappear anyway.



I just completed some clean up work with the dear woman who cleans for me. It's amazing and frustrating what I find while sorting through stuff.  The wonderful part is pictures and other memories that animate me. The most upsetting piece is the amount of checks I find that are too old to cash.  That is something I need to find help and strength toward actually changing.  Of course I don't want to work for money and then throw it away.  I need to process and progress in this area. Sigh.



Almost Shabbos.

Life dances away
as the afterlife steps in
visits for this day


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