Monday, July 21, 2014

Thought of the Moment

I don't quite know what the point of writing that I don't know what to say or where to say it.  It's kind of  a matir for me.  I write that and then I say whatever I feel like saying.  It reminds me of the nicht Shabbos gereht joke.

I never know who reads what, and as a friend once said- once it's out there, it's out there.  But as Nicole Krause taught me, and yet, is a full sentence. And yet, Sigh (I just sighed.)

I am grateful to G-d for feeling good at this moment.  Yesterday I did some hishtadlus toward moving my self/my life forward. I went against my comfort zone/grain.  And it feels good after.  That's the thing with doing something that's true, it feels good afterwards.  I just heard a line that guilt is GPS of the soul.  so is feeling good. The former line reminds me of Rabbi Abraham Twerski's words about guilt.  It's meant to alert us to take care of an ill, and then move onward. Just as physical pain is meant to alert us to heal something in our body, guilt is spiritual pain telling us to fix something in our soul.

This past year has been rich and also painful and intense for me.  I did not comfortably morph into a much needed summer break (not that the year being pulled out and disappearing is ever easy for me).  Yesterday felt (to use a word that I think about in regard to people but hold back on using to not offend) healthy.  And so does today.  Thank G-d.

I have much to do. I need to grab hold of this summer.  Grab hold of the moments going by.  Grab hold of my life.

May we all be blessed to take care of ourselves and in that merit receive extra care from G-d.


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