Saturday, March 29, 2014

This Post

This post comes to mind as I sit in the home of the friends who I mention being in the home of in this piece,  I think I wrote most of that post while I was babysitting for them and they were out buying a Picasso.

Random memory popping into my head.  I was renting a room one summer in Israel.  The landlord heard I was a writer and asked when I was going to start writing, even though she saw me writing every day. Like many people she associated writing as a thing with being published and making money.

Tazria Thought - The usual Haftarah of Tazria is about Naaman.  He has tzaraat and is advised by Elisha the Navi to bathe in the Jordan river. He refuses, then does it and is healed. The Rokeach finds a clever hint to Naaman in the Torah. There are 3 pesukim in the Torah that start and end with a nun, just like Naaman's name does. 1) If someone has a nega they must go show it to a kohein. 2) A Navi from among you... his words you should listen to (eilav tishmeun) 3) Nachnu na'avor (we will cross) from across the Yarden. The first pasuk alludes to Naaman going for help. The second hints to who will tell Naaman what to do, the third hints to what he was told to do.

Someone I did not know the identity of but knew through this blog was once upset at me and asked that we talk something through via email.  But there was an additional request- that we keep discussing it straight through without a break until the issue was resolved. That comes to mind now as I think of issues I have with different people.  It's usually some kind of misunderstanding. Often somebody's done somebody wrong. Often I am wrong.  But so often the difficult conversations are avoided. Sometimes there isn't enough time for real.  Sometimes there isn't enough will to  keep discussing it until the issue is resolved.  It is sad that there can't always be reconciliation, that there can't always be words, and time, and kindness and compassion, that there can't always be listening and being with one another until there is peace. Sigh.

Things have been feeling heavy for some time now.  Since my dear dad's fall last May things have not been the same.

I have a need for talking, for healing, for peace.

I have to be kinder to others, even kinder than I purport to be.

I'm getting sleeeeepy.  I pray that we all hold on to and pursue our dreams and see them fulfilled.

Life is complicated, or maybe it's not- maybe it's just people that are complicated.  Maybe it's the same...

Good night and G-d bless
I say after all these years
I really mean it
May we all feel blessed by G-d
May we be happy enough


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