I Blog

Seven and a half years. There was a time when no-one read.  There was a time when a few people started reading and commenting.  And some point it felt like a community.  I used to wonder what would a reader of my blog look like, be like.  Who were these people with pseudonyms?  Most of them revealed themselves or were revealed by others at some point.  Most have stopped commenting.  Many were bloggers. And they've now mostly stopped blogging.  Darn you Facebook. 

And yet.

I'm still here.  In the YU library.

There was a time when I felt I should write every day.  There was a time when I hid and stopped writing, stopped sharing.  Stopped.

I have ambivalence about blogging (about blogging?).

I just got two books from the library, photocopied what I wanted from each of them for my upcoming talk at Y.U. on Humor in Judaism.

They have this week's Jewish Week for free here in the Y.U. library.  Since I started writing parsha articles for them I'm interested in who else writes in that rotating space and what they write about.  When I write I research hard and write harder. I try to take a topic and use my 800 words to look at it one way clearly by viewing it from different angles.  Other people, like this week's author, a friend of a friend, take on politics and make a sharp left turn from the parsha into their own questions and answers regarding people's opinions regarding the world today.

One of my classes told me that their teacher opened up a discussion with them today.  It turns out - my newly arrived email tells me - that this teacher is presenting a talk on this topic this Sunday.  They didn't need to know it for a test but they remembered what this teacher said.  What a responsibility we have.

There was a time when I went through my day step by step here on the blog.  I don't so much feel like it.  It's enough that the day goes through me.

Someone told me the other day that she saw an interesting thing on Oprah.  Tony Robbins (I guessed who it was from the description, "the guy who goes around speaking") said that a woman told him that she couldn't perform. She described how her palms got sweaty and she heard the audience and her heart beat fast and so she just couldn't do it. 

Then one day Tony shared a private jet ride with Springsteen.  Springsteen told him that before he goes on stage his palms get sweaty and he hears the audience and his heart beats fast and that's when he knows, "I'm ready." Robbins said that this illustrates how the same thing can lead you different ways.  He praised Oprah, saying that her early life circumstances could have taken her in different directions but she used it positively.

One of the librarians is discussing the history of Chasidus with someone who seems like journalist.

In a moment I will go, where to I do not know, perhaps to sleep, maybe to eat. I'll get there slowly with my feet.  In a moment I will end this post, though I'd stay if you want me to, if you have an idea what I should do.  In a moment I will go and breathe out the day, maybe eat some cholent, may G-d help me find my way.