My Name Is Natah - Part 4
Not In Vain
By Emily Dickinson
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
That poem comes to mind, regarding putting life in perspective. Sometimes we (I) wonder what we've accomplished in our lives... I know I've tried, and I believe I may have even on occasion actually eased the burden of others.
I've written several times here about my Hebrew name Natah (Part 1 of My Name Is Natah, Part 2, Part 3) . My grandparents on the side of my mom (of blessed memory) were from Galicia, and their Jewish first names were unique to their location. My grandfather was Binyamin Maneleh and my uncle was Shmayah Yonah. My mom was Freida Maryam.
Our names make us unique. The ever honest, open, sincere, pious, articulate, and integrity filled Sarah Shapiro captures the power of a name is this poem:
Belated Thank You Note
By Sarah Shapiro
From Don't You Know It's A Perfect World? (1998)
From Don't You Know It's A Perfect World? (1998)
Why did I always feel so strange,
as if there were something I ought to change,
as if I didn't belong where I was,
that I couldn't do what everyone does?
Because my name was Sarah.
Why did I always feel left out,
wanting to join but ever in doubt?
Nancy and Donna and Cindy and Jane
never seemed to treat me the same
Because my name was Sarah.
What was it that told me I'd been born unawares
in the land of my birth but my fate wasn't theirs?
It wasn't my clothes, it wasn't their stares,
it wasn't that Sarah from Minsk had died.
What was it that bothered, a thorn in my side
and why was I hiding and why had I lied?
What was it that told me that this place, my hometown,
wasn't really my home, wasn't really my town?
My grandmother's name was Sarah.
Why do I thank my parents today?
For giving what constantly gave me away.
In every roll call in every class
I'd stand and feel transparent as glass,
forever the only one in school
whose ancient name broke an unspoken rule.
Why do I send you kisses today?
For the name that wasn't afraid to say:
"I'm different. You know it. Why not just declare
that I'm Jewish. I'm Jewish! My name is Sarah.
Thoughts fill my head and soul,my inner life overflows, I wish I could just keep writing, and yet it's time for bed, despite the stream of consciousness in my head. One of the things I noticed in the posts I linked to about my name was the comments. Very much appreciated, always.
Good night and G-d bless
Me and you and everyone
Please please please please please
posted by rabbi neil fleischmann @ 11:59 PM
5 Comments:
I like both poems very much. The first one is often in my mind when I try to focus on the mantra, Be kinder than you need to be. Always a work in progress for me, but I do try.
My great-grandmother's name was Sara (I wish it had had an "h" on the end as I think it's prettier that way), and I had always wanted to name a daughter Sarah. But when our Melinda came alone via the orphanage in Colombia, suddenly our peer group had named half their kids Sarah, and I didn't want her to be one of many in her classrooms all her life, so we changed course. Still love, love the name... it's a classic whether one is Jewish or Christian. Actually, I now recall I took it as my "confirmation name" when I became a Catholic in my early 40s.
along, not alone (oops)
Also (sorry for these postscripts!) my husband's Armenian-immigrant grandmother was named Maryam. Lovely name.
Two very different women poets giving us such accessible life advice! If only we could feel good about our names, about our lives, about the one simple good deed we may do. If only we could judge ourselves with restraint and then show gratitude to the family members that came before us, that worked for us and named us with hope and love. (And what does "Natah" mean????)
Wow! No need to apologize for postscripts Anne, seeing that I had 4 comments made my day! And I'm really glad you shared. Teacher Pam thank you for your articulate and heartfelt comment!
Be kinder than you need to be. That's so key. People talk about treatment of others as though it were peripheral to life; how we treat others is life. I just coined that, and I'm going to stick with it.
It's fascinating to me how names go in and out of fashion. As she explains in the poem, when she was a kid, Sarah Shapiro's name was unusual in her school and community.
Maryam, Armenian. I should have saved the word fascinating for this paragraph. My aunt, who recites psalms daily, told me that this was my mother's middle name. She is very careful about praying for the exact name. mAmazing, what you don't know about people till they're gone...
[The name is discussed here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maryam_(name)]
Pam, your words are so well put. Natah means a plant, a freshly planted tree, a sapling...
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