Vayeitzei - Theme of Stones

Shprintza Herskovits (from whose sefer Rays of the Sun, the following piece is adapted) says there's a theme of stones. She introduces her essay with the idea of asking people what association they come up with when you mention stones. She suggests that there are two camps: Some people will thinks of the stones that break your bones, slung since the beginning of mankind. Others will think of rock solid structures, words written in stone, diamonds that are forever.

Yaakov sleeps on stones, then has a dream. When he wakes up he declares that he is in a place where G-d is. He makes the stone he slept on an altar and declares that if G-d stays with him the stone will become a pillar in the House of G-d. A scene that follows features a well covered with a stone so heavy that a crowd of shepherds must gather and together remove it. Yaakov, after seeing Rochel, removes the stone himself. Upon leaving Lavan's house Yaakov suggests that he and Lavan make a brit/covenant; the sign of the pact that he chooses is a stone.

You may remember the midrash that says that Yaakov takes many stones to sleep on and that they fought over who should have the prestige of having Yaakov rest on them. G-d's solution was to turn the many stones into one. This story is about fragmentation turning into unity. Perhaps Yaakov doesn’t comment on the merging of the rocks because he took it as a something that fit with the dream that he had just awakened from. Or, he doesn’t much notice that the change of the stones because this place was now equated with a place of G-d and oneness. This fits with the fact that Yaakov builds a matzeivah type of altar, which is from one stone, in contrast to the more common mizbeach, of several stones.

The Rashbam suggests that the reason why the shepherds had the well covered with one giant stone was because they mistrusted each other. This set up meant that they could only remove the rock all together. The stone thus represents the disunity that existed between them and also the unity that they needed to compromise upon as the only was for any of them to get water from the well. On the other hand Yaakov was overwhelmed by a sense of connection upon seeing Rachel. This feeling that he'd met his soul mate gave him the strength to lift the stone alone, and urge to remove something that was in place only due to disunity.

When Yaakov sees Rachel he cries. He has just been moved by a sense of oneness with his wife to be. And yet he cries out of the angst ridden existential realization that they would be together in life, separated by death.

The pact between Yaakov and Lavan over a stone represents that whether or not they could stay together depended on whether they could connect or not. If disparity between them was inevitable then perhaps it was best they go their separate ways.

Like so many things in life, stones can be positive or negative. They are not intrinsically bad or good, they can be used constructively or destructively by people. A lesson to be learned from the theme of stones in Parshat Vayeitzei.