Esrog Shaleim - The Perfect Esrog - PART 2 (Click on this title to link to Part 1)

Kasriel carried his near perfect esrog home with the delicacy reserved for the beloved. He hid it inside it in its hair-like wrapping and then placed that odd looking fuzzy sphere in his ornate silver esrog box. Something didn't sit right with him. He took the esrog out again. It was closer to perfect than he even realized. He loved looking at it. What was making him uncomfortable? He couldn't bear having this esrog kept out of view.

He made space on the narrow flat area of his shtender in the corner of his study. He displayed the esrog and it filled the room with light. He called his wife into the room and showed it to her. She said it was nice - though she wasn't as excited as Kasriel was, she also wasn't as excited as he'd hoped she'd be. This bothered Kasriel, so he breathed deeply in and out as he thought the word "Hashem" to himself and as he exhaled he released any thread of anger from within.

It was Monday and Yom Tov was starting on Wednesday night. Kasriel was taking care of other aspects of the upcoming holiday and thinking about it in every second that passed: getting the best built Sukkah, the most delicious food ingredients, making sure everything was A level. He learned in his study about the laws and meaning of Sukkot as basked in the glow of his beautiful esrog.


His wife was also preparing. On Wednesday, Erev Sukkos, she did a final swoop through the house with the vacuum cleaner. She felt that it was getting late and in her typically efficient manner she was finishing touches in all areas - the last batch of fish was simmering, the napkin holders were on the napkins, the Ushpizin poster was still missing in action and Etta was determined to find it and have it up in the Sukka ASAP.


Kasriel looked up from his sefer and smiled lovingly at his wife as she pushed the vacuum into his study. His smile deteriorated as he saw it happen in slow motion: the corner of the vacuum bumped into the edge of the shtender. The esrog flew up in an arc into the air and then dove straight down to the floor. The esrog hit the ground, pitum first. The pitum popped off the esrog. Kasriel's first thought was, "She couldn't have busted this up more perfectly had she planned it." He knew Etta hadn't meant to render the esrog non-kosher. If for no other reason - and there were other reasons - she was in charge of their finances. And while she gave her blessing to this high end esrog - its price did not go unnoticed by her. Replacing it was not an expense Etta wanted them dealing with.


Etta gasped. In part she was upset about what had just happened, but in a way she was more afraid of what would happen next. She feared the wrath of Kasriel. Don't think that Etta considered Kasriel a bad man. She knew with certainty that he had worked harded on chiseling himself into a refined model of a human being, a servant of Hashem. In fact, she knew no-one who had successfully mastered their middot better than Kasriel. And yet, she knew his Achilles heel, and she had just stepped on it.


Anger. Etta had been on the receiving end of Kasriel's anger. He was so passionate and passion is a double edged sword. He exploded once when they were engaged. She made a comment about his family, which she thought was necessary to say in order to prepare correctly for them wedding, their life. Kasriel seemed possessed. It was hard to say if he yelled; he probably didn't. But the rage with which he spoke was shocking to Ella; seeing him in this Dr. Hyde state felt like more than she could bear. She retreated. She did not call him. She thought it was done. But he approached her. He apologized with such gentleness, such depth of understanding of how his behavior must have made her feel, such deep remorse - that she loved him even more than before. And yet he had been told at that time that she had a hard time with his anger - big time.