Monday, March 14, 2011

10 Ways of Looking At Sleeplessness

1. Like Achashveirosh, I realize if I'm up there's a reason.

2. I remember that the rabbis judged harshly the life of someone who can be up in the middle of the night and turn his heart to batalah - wastefulness.

3. The middle of the night is designated for mourning for the loss of the Temple. Our world is unredeemed and imperfect and we have to own this. We state our case to G-d, really to ourselves. "G-d remember what has happened to us, look and see our disgrace..."

4. Five family members were killed Friday night in the settlement of Itamar. It was the family of the son of a teacher of mine. Sigh. "G-d remember what has happened to us, look and see our disgrace..."

5. Today an old friend called after a lapse of contact and asked me when my year ends. I said, "It feels like a long time from now, but June - I guess." He was talking - I realized after forever -about the year of mourning for my mother. That year ended three months ago, the new reality will be negotiated for a long time to come.

6. Always when I can't sleep I start thinking about what to eat. There are tangerines in the fridge that would be the right thing eat if I'm going to eat anything now. They were surplus/clutter of a woman I dated seven times and she gave them to me. It didn't work out. I'm thinking chicken.

7. Funny - not ha-ha - I had no trouble sleeping this afternoon.

8. That CD of sleep music works, I wonder why I'm not trying it; maybe because I am just so not tired that the tape seems like a wasted effort. That makes little sense. The take will take me to sleep. Just one more thing and then maybe one or two more.

9. Self awareness can be weights or wings; it depends on what you do with it.

10. No, Bob Seger, it is not funny how the night moves. I can't blame it on midnight. Yes, shame on the moon.


Anonymous David Tzohar said...

A midnight massacre in Itamar. Mourning for the temple is no longer enough.Balailah naddidah shnat ha Melech lead to "and they killed and destroyed 70,000 of their enemies.
Perhaps this is what we should be praying for??

March 17, 2011 at 10:44 AM  
Blogger kishke said...

I'm confused about the tangerines. I assume you received the fruits recently; otherwise, they'd be spoiled. So did you just break up, or are you still friends long after?

March 21, 2011 at 11:54 PM  
Blogger rabbi neil fleischmann said...

The tangerines lasted for well over a month. They're still in the fridge, and may even be good. Under refrigeration fruits can be kept from spoiling for quite some time.

March 22, 2011 at 1:25 AM  
Blogger kishke said...

Mystery solved. Sorry it didn't work out.

March 22, 2011 at 10:25 AM  
Blogger rabbi neil fleischmann said...

Thanks. I really am trying, though it feels right to not go into details here about my dating.

March 22, 2011 at 12:07 PM  
Blogger kishke said...

Definitely right. A blog is not the place to discuss current shidduch activity.

March 22, 2011 at 2:07 PM  
Blogger rr said...

Just read this comment strand. Sort of reminded me of the cucumbers. Remember? Only those were left in the fridge for an entirely different reason. Really hope that Shabbos was great for you! Mine (for a change) was really meeyn olam habah. I still pray that the sock will be found....remember?

March 26, 2011 at 9:23 PM  
Blogger rabbi neil fleischmann said...

i remember - posted about the cucumber salad two times that i could find. thanks for the memory of these nice poem chains and comment strands.

thanks again for the continued sock wish. i like that proem, and the comment thread it evoked:

glad you had a good shabbos. mine was nice, did me good - thank G-d.

March 27, 2011 at 8:07 PM  

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