Introduction by the Author

By FRAN LEBOWITZ

All modesty is false.

All strangers are perfect.

All musicals are revivals.

All pets are adopted.

All smoke is secondhand.

All vegetables are organic.

All mothers are single.

All favorites are sentimental.

All consciences are guilty.

All suspicions are sneaking.

All endings are happy.

All fanatics are religious.

No thought is consoling.

No speculation is idle.

There’s no business not like show business.

Fran Lebowitz, a contributing editor for Vanity Fair,

is the author of the forthcoming “Progress,”

which will be published within the century.