Wednesday, June 02, 2010

HaMapil Riff

On Shabbbos I was sitting in the Y.U. Bet Medrash and my highly sensitive ears picked up the lone conversation going on in the room. A young student was asking a rebbe not much older than him about his dating situation. The girl he is dating is not outgoing and he is, should he help her change? She wants to change, he thinks. It's better to be outgoing in life, right? It's important, isn't it? So what should he do?

I tried not to listen and succeeded in tuning out the answer. This scene keyed into something I wonder about regularly: Who is fit to give advice. I'll be a bit blunter: Who is not fit to give advice? And now for bluntest: I think that many rabbis are not fit to give advice. But adults go to shul rabbis and talmidim go to rebbeim. They ask and are answered. Life has taught me that being a Talmid Chacham and a good yoeitz/advisor do nor necessarily go hand in hand. They might, but I find all too rarely do. Sigh.

I am tired, have been last few days. I'm trying to read through the HSP book. One of the ha'arot is that HSPs need to recharge more than others do after a regular day's work. Yep.

Marshal McLuhan said, "Don't believe everything you think." Yep.

Five classes of teaching today, two Torah Guidance meetings, wrote and followed protocol of submitting a final. Tomorrow is last teaching day for three of my classes, Friday is last day for other two.

I am heading toward sleep, reviewing and letting go of the day - forgiving, or falling asleep trying. The loneliness of the long distance sleeper is vast. I ask G-d to help me not step in the same puddles...

Piaget spoke of different points of view and how we grow older and get it. Before we evolve we assume that everyone sees what we do. May we all be blessed to evolve. That reminds me of something I heard Rabbi Shalom Carmy say in the name of the Rashbam - that some people start learning the Torah as children and never grow up.

I am heading toward sleep and thinking about/visualizing dust. I see Horton's dust speck and remember Mrs. Phillips assigning us to watch Horton Hears a Hoo and then discuss it in our third grade classroom. Could it be that worlds exist on specs of dust? And we, what are we? Mrs. Phillips was a toughie. But she was good with the current events. I remember her teaching us about Kent State right after it happened.

Dead tissue
Under our beds
Static particles
The end

Good night and G-d bless
Us; in between dust and dust
Good night and G-d Bless


Blogger MNUnterberg said...

I think everyone is qualified to give advice.

When we receive advice, we have to remember what advice is. Its people telling us what works for them.

And then we have to learn from the people we want to be like.

June 3, 2010 at 12:19 PM  
Blogger rabbi neil fleischmann said...

Interesting - marbeh eitzah marbeh tvunah - and true. And yet there is a limited amount of energy and time. When we seek advice we need to seek it from where it will be most helpful The most helpful advice comes from people telling us - not what works for them, rather - based on what they hear us saying think might work for us, so that we can be - not them - but who we are meant to be.

June 4, 2010 at 2:21 AM  
Anonymous Minnesota Mamaleh said...

excellent post! you shared so much i feel like i got so many glimpses into your thinking! i love so many of these tidbits-- whose fit to give advice and who do we turn to, the puddles, piaget (i'm a human developmentalist at heart!), the dust (lol!) but most of all the "reviewing and letting go of the day." that, friend, is really wise and really difficult to do sometimes!

June 6, 2010 at 2:13 AM  
Blogger rabbi neil fleischmann said...

Thank you MM, I really appreciate your reading and reacting and sharing that reaction with me in a comment. We bloggers (this blogger) love comments (although the vast majority of readers don't comment).

Letting go is never easy, but I sometimes succeed in doing it, knowing it's best. Sometimes I do what's difficult, and sometimes I'm wise, and sometimes I get gotten and I appreciate that a lot.

June 6, 2010 at 2:36 AM  

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