This Was Written On Friday - Due To Computer Going On Fritz Right Before Shabbos, Posted Post Shabbos

Soon Shabbos. I have been balancing life lately with more action than thought/writing. I have mixed feelings about it. I'm holding back here, much as it may seem to some that I write a lot. I miss my mother. The Hebrew four month anniversary has passed, in English it's coming up. Sigh. What a vacuum. For me aveilut and mourning are different, sacrilegious as that may sound. I'm not competing or racing in a kind of kaddish/ba'al tefilah check list, though I've been keeping up in that department. I'm missing and mourning my mother. A thunderstorm has suddenly stopped, and the sun's not shining either. Nature has changed in way that it will never be the same and it is revealing in every second what was once that was taken for granted, unnoticed. Ah, the unnoticed, such a large part of this life, along with the way it becomes noticed in its absence. Heavy sigh.

would that there were a world of words

would i want to live there?

do i live there already? do i want to move out?

what about feelings?

could i, would i live in a world of only feelings?

and what of thoughts, i wonder?

and what about actions? nooooooo!

and what of a balanced world?

that's what i write and pray and feel and think and act for.

l

This is not a blog, I just decided. It's a collection of writing. Yep.