Matayim
Looking for a word
Just one in a sea of words
Or perchance silence
posted by rabbi neil fleischmann @ 10:17 AM
NY's Funniest Rabbi
Postings From An Eclectic Soul
My Parsha Blog
Please visit Parsha Post
Site Index
Posts by Category
Favorite Blogs
3 Comments:
I like the poem, but I think the 5-7-5 format hobbles it. I think it would have resonated more without that stricture. For example:
Looking for a word
Just one word in a sea of words
Perhaps it is silence
I think the second line is better as it is originally--using the word "word" only once. It might even be a play on words using it only once . . . "Just one". :)
Sharon
Thanks K and S. I tend to agree with S here, and yet I appreciate both comments.
My raging silence!
I speak differently aloud.
What is permitted?
Post a Comment
<< Home