Erev Pesach 5770 - Next year in Jerusalem

12:12 PM I have three different things I want to write at once.

1. Diary style, free form blog entry, in this moment, Erev Pesach, 5770.

2. Pesach related divrei Torah, specifically regarding the hagaddah.

3. Writing to be kept private - heavier than the above (though I think what I consider safely light enough to share publicly is seen by thinkers and other living readers as heavier than I realize).

This is the place for free - so to speak/write - writing. And yet, don't be surprised if one and two mix together and if three leaks in. But, as Walt Whitman wrote, I repeat myself, I repeat myself.

Whenever I look for the ten hidden pieces, one of them proves elusive. I found number ten this morning just in time, thought I had gotten it last night, but I was mistaken. This, like most of my life, has meaningful layers to ponder. Tzei U'lemad. If you feel like it. I mean.

5:40 PM - I just had two long and different phone conversations, and I've been breathing. That more or less catches you up since the post above. I would love to spend the next hour till Yom Tov writing, but I have to enter the world of action - pick up dry cleaning, buy medicine and wine, food and water.

I will close this post now, or very soon anyway with the hopes of possibly adding in a bit of Torah before the Yom Tov starts. Here's a poem I wrote yesterday while walking in the rain after having sold my chometz.

While Walking in the Rain

After Having Sold My Chometz

Johari's window

You watch me through it daily

and I watch myself

Only G-d can see the truth

We try our best to get it

6:12 PM - Spoke to a dear friend just now, ate a snack so I won't be famished for the seder. Still need to get out.

I pray we all be blessed with freedom and development. How great it would be if we made our Father In Heaven proud by taking the freedom we're commemorating and using it to best effect. How ironic it would be if we take the time that is meant to celebrate our relationship with G-d and choose food over Him.

I pray we all ask questions as a child, hundreds of questions with unquenchable curiosity. And that we access that little boy or little girl banging on the doors of our soul, yearning to be free.

I pray that we become clear on what redemption means to us that that we can begin now to live along those lines.

I pray that we see the spirit behind the law.

I pray that we see the law that holds up the spirit.

I pray to G-d to free me

from the exile of my soul

my exile from G-d

my exile from you

my exile from my holy land

Next year I hope

to be my soul, not my body

to be with G-d

to be with you

Next year in Jerusalem.