Was Thomas Wolfe Right?
I have a ride from Queens to The Heights in five minutes. Home is home. Mom is gone (HKP). It was nice spending Shabbos with dad (HSLABW). This is the sixth Shabbos without mom in the world. Five of those six I've spent with family. Mom is here in different way. Still not used to that. The rabbis say that it takes 12 months for a person to be forgotten from the heart. They will never be forgotten, but the deep hole in the heart, to some extent, heals after a year. I'm just guessing here.
Yesterday I had the honor of reading aloud what I think must be the longest Haftorah. It's the aliyah that an aveil is supposed to get. So I got it. But I don't get it. Over Shabbos I looked at a picture of me from the early nineties. I seemed to have more answers then. I miss that. And yet. There's so much I miss. Can I go home again?
posted by rabbi neil fleischmann @ 9:49 AM
2 Comments:
I found that the rabbis were pretty accurate about grieving: After a year, there is a scar rather than a hole in one's heart. Other aspects of the loss seem to go on and on. My mother (d. 1998) pops up in my thoughts daily. So much in life and the natural world reminds me of her.
As a mother myself, I am humbled by this phenomenon. What will remind my children of me when I'm gone? I hope some of those reminders are good things.
Thanks Anne, apt, thoughtful, and articulate.
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