Pre-Mincha
I pray for a prayer
I have hopefulness for hope
I believe in faith
posted by rabbi neil fleischmann @ 1:28 PM
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7 Comments:
I like this haiku and offer my personalized (for me) version:
I pray for a prayer
I have hopefulness for hope
I aspire to faith
My dear friend, the late, great Aaron Bulman was a wonderful poet who sat with me and my poetry on several occasions and mentored me. I think he would have liked your version better than mine (and I must say that I am particularly appreciative of comments on poems) because you might be saying what I wanted to say using the best words posible, rather than using words that fit a formula but that may be a off message. I wanted each line to have a symetry, the verb and the noun to kind of match - so I went with believing in faith, because there's no verb version of the actual word faith, but belief is a similar word. But aspiring to faith is really closer to the others, to what I really mean to saythan believing in faith is. (I feel funny asking, may I may want to use your version as an edit...)
how about faithfulness to faith? (guess syllables are off)
it works, if that's the whole line - it is five syllables. anonymous (i love your work)you just got me to notice that anne's is 6 syllables (maybe I could be left off). This opens a broader question. In many hoity toity booksand websites I see haiku that don't fit the traditional number scheme. i'm somehow attached to the numbers, but it seems that many if not most haiku writers are not. I feel a little badly that those who get into haiku based on my haiku here (there are such people - I've read about them) stick to the literal number scheme...
I am pleased to say that Richard Wright, a modern day haiku master sticks to the traditional 5-7-5. (I first discovered and wrote about him in this post - about a year ago. it's a post that I like. it's a post in which I wondered about continuing to post...)
http://rabbifleischmann.blogspot.com/2008/04/forever-reliving.html
what work of mine doyou love?
Anonymous, there's so much that I hear in your name, read in newspapers and on blogs... I guess I am particularly fond of your quotes on greeting cards.
(The author of this blog wishes to make parenthetically clear that this was an attempt at humor - the joke being the misconception that Anonymous is the name of one person.)
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