Post YK Post

They say the way to tell if you're more of an introvert or extrovert is to see which one you turn to to recharge your batteries. That's the way a wife of a colleague of mine put it in a lovely chat we had recently on Freshman Retreat.
-
Post Yom Kippur I am sitting alone recharging my batteries after davening today in a large minyan that started at 7:00 AM and ended at 7:30 PM (with a break after musaf - for fifteen minutes).
-
Writing here is funny (not ha ha) because I see it as relaxing time alone. Then I post it and it becomes public. It reminds me of Seinfeld's line about driving. He likes it because it's so many different things at once. It's being inside and outside at the same time. And it's sitting still and moving at the same time. Blogging is being introverted and extroverted, being alone and with others - in a way.
-
Anne recently cited this poem, that really struck me. My favorite line is: "A poem should not mean, but be." Speaking of poems, this one comes to mind: it's called Ne'ilah. Free sample: "Not words, but G-d’s soft unspoken plea is heard –'Keep open your gate! Keep open your gate!'"
=
Two years ago after Yom Kippur I wrote this post, which closes with these words, which I'd like to rekindle now (as I sit next to kindled candle): "As Andy's Ramble plays I'm very close to believing that even the most put together person on the catwalk, in or out of Shul, is a secret holy schlepper. As atonement congeals, I pray that we be blessed to be at one with ourselves and each other. As we prepare to schlep through another year, if G-d will grant it to us, let us commit to being gentle in our judgement of schleppers - for we were shleppers in the land of Egypt."
[
I was wondering last night why the anonymous poet chose so many images for the same idea: "look at the covenant, don't turn toward the accuser"?
=

What's the difference between

clay in the potter's hand

stone in the mason''s hand

iron in the welder's hand

helm in the sailor's hand

glass in the glazier's hand

cloth in the draper's hand

silver in the smith's hand?

~

Seven is the nature number

It represents where we live

In time, place - within G-d

Yet we are each different

and we feel G-d differently

Some are navigated boats

Others raw creative clay

We are all in G-d's hand.

p

Maybe take one more look at your machzor and let me know what you think.

0

In Selichot we say "Oh G-d - you are slow to anger, You are called the Master of Mercy, and you have taught the way of repentance..." It seems to be saying that G-d's patience and mercy is what led Him to allow us to do Teshuva. Here's my thought: G-d is the master of mercy and taught us to do teshuva, which involves mercy. The mishnah in Avot says, don't be evil in your own eyes. Doing teshuva includes having compassion on oneself. G-d models patience and compassion for us as a cue for what we need to accomplish Teshuva.
=
I was born between Yom Kippur and Sukkot. Tradition has good things to say about those days. They are so holy it's almost like they don't exist. The new year, post Yom Kippur, is considered to re-open on Sukkot. Of course as a birthday, a day that almost doesn't exist can have its drawbacks.
=
If anyone cares to share anything - how your Yom Kippur went, what your shul was like, etc - feel free. Mine was intense. Starting at seven and tyring to go in strong can make you quite tired later on. The fifteen minute break came and went quickly. Mussaf was done at about three - there could have been more of a break... Someone I know who lives on the upper West Side had a break of about an hour and a half, which he used to walk over and spend time at the Imagine memorial at Strawberry Fields in Central Park. If you want to know why he went out of his way to go there on this Yom Kippur, click here. The picture at this site bears a striking resemblance in appearance and aura to a friend/colleague of mine in the world of the arts.
=
In retrospect I am happy that we studied korbanot in my school for the first month of this year. I've been thinking about the themes that come up over and over again in the Tanach and commentaries: it's all about closeness to G-d and kindness to others. That was true about "sacrifices" and it's true about prayer. How and why do we still not get it? As a song I'm fond of puts it - "How long till my soul get's it right?"
p
On the other hand I believe in the yoke of Heaven and that yoke can be exhausting: Slichot, minyan, minchah, seudah, etc - to be an observant Jewish man by the books is demanding not only in terms of spirit but physically. And to balance the feeling and action can be extremely challenging.
-
I just received a beautiful ecard with a sailboat featured in the backdrop of good wishes. Funny, I recently coined the image of my sailboat spot - wanting that right place in life, that seems far off, like that boat that I sometimes see looking out at the ocean. This card was much appreciated.
-
I am jumping around a bit. Just paused and found that card and a new comment on a post and replied to both. Many thoughts enter my head during the day, especially during high, holy days - and I think "that's something 'd like to share," but then it flies away...

Prayer and teshuva and these days are largely about hope:

"Hope the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all"

o

- Good Old Emily

l

Having been more into popular culture than high culture as a kid, I knew the following quote long before I got the reference at all, or was curious about it in the least: "

-

"How wrong Emily Dickinson was!

Hope is not "the thing with feathers".

The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew.

I must take him to a specialist in Zurich."

p

- Woody Allen

p

At the end of a stand up show Woody Allen used to say, "I wish I had a positive thought to leave you with... I don't... would you accept two negatives?" It's a funny line. Sad. Keep track of comments around and you might notice two negatives for every positive. I once heard Rabbi Fischel Schachter say that whenever he says something negative to a student he sandwiches it between 2 positives. i

I'd like to leave you with a positive thought. This is a short version of a long thought from Rav Hutner: The Rabbis say that the righteous and wicked are judged on Yom Kippur. The middle people get ten days to tilt to the side of merit. The Rambam says that they get ten days to do teshuva - return. Leaving out the fancy footwork, the bottom line is that by Yom Kippur we have to decide what side in life we are committed to do. Are we committed to trying to be righteous? That is the question. A temimusdic - pure Rebbe of mine was once confronted with a Ramban that seems to indicate that hashgacha pratis - individual divine providence is only for tzadikim. His simple answer was that the Ramban means anyone who wants to go in the direction of being a tzadik. May we all be so blessed.