Extra Time
Empty time scares me
If early what will I do?
It doesn't happen
It's the old just one more thing
Time and time again
I wrote that walking to my ride this morning, for which I was actually five minutes early! Another passenger was five minutes late, causing the driver to feel and say that he just can't win. I write and think a lot about time. u
p
There are back comments I want to reply to and life I want to write about and life I want to live. At the moment I need to do other things. I wish I could stay here longer.
;
I decided to add an image last second. What does that picture say to you? It makes me think of different types of people, the pallet people and the clock people. It's unusual to combine these two paradigms.
posted by rabbi neil fleischmann @ 11:18 AM
5 Comments:
This post really intrigued me and I've been thinking about it a lot today. I was wondering what to write and noticed an incredibly beautiful comment a student of yours wrote on the post G-d Didn't Carry Me This Far To Drop Me Now. It is such a testimony to the way a person uses time- as you obviously have in impacting on another so significantly. Using time that way is an art.
Maayan
With apologies to others that I haven't commented back to on some relatively recent posts - I thank you Maayan for this comment. Thank you for seeing and saying.
I googled the words cool clock and found that picture. I find it striking and it's got me thinking too.
I think a lot about the color wheel and pallets, so when I saw the picture I noticed that it didn't follow the color wheel the way mine would. (Yellow at the top is right, but then the primary red and blue don't seem to be in the right place. Also, why surround yellow with dark browns? Or maybe that's just how it looks on my monitor.) I'm pretty intensely into color theory right now, so I didn't even notice the clock hands.
The palette intrigues me. I used to paint a bit, and the palette speaks to me of creativity and imagination: what might I do with those colors on a brush? Just think of the possibilities. And they're mere splotches on a white surface until someone comes along, picks up the brush, and uses them to create a vision, a world, a memory.
The clock part of it made me nervous at first. My entire working life has been about deadlines, mostly writing for publication. Deadlines mean pressure. But then I thought: deadlines are also good for me, because they force me to see time as a gift with an expiration date. Sometimes I create because I *must* -- people are depending on me to do so. Often I'm pleased with the results. So, the clock helps discipline my creativity a bit and channel it.
That being said, I do look forward to someday being retired, healthy, and able to be creative whenever I feel like it, and to take as long as I want. At that time I can wipe the clock off the palette for good. :-)
Thanks Miriam and Anne. Your comments complimented the comment of Maayan. I am blessed by G-d to have thoughtful, caring and articulate readers who comment with great emotional fluency.
Miriam - what we don't see is fascinating, like what we don't hear. What we don't get is maybe more fascinating to me than what we do notice. I'm often struck by what I'm told was said or done, sometimes by me, that I didn't take in...
Colors are fascinating. I don't know about the color wheel, am ignorant on that topic. My favorite color is purple - though as a kid I said blue because I thought purple wasn't allowed. There's a personality test based on colors that I really like (available on line).
Anne - Profound; what we can do. We can take splotches of colors and create...something. Amazing.
Your middle paragraph reminded me of Peter Himmelman's comment that he had mixed feelings about being contracted to do kids' albums, but that the obligation aspect in the end was good for him. Knowing that he was paid and expected to produce got him to dig inside and pull out good work. That idea resonates for me.
I like your last paragraoh too. It brought this to mind and heart: I once had an intense discussion with someone I was dating - what would we each do if we suddenly, somehow, had a lot of money - enough to be able to quit our jobs. It was so intense, really, because it was about what we valued at present.
I said that if I didn't have to hold a conventional job - if I had a very large sum of money - I would spend my days studying/reading and listening to others and talking and praying and writing and walking and thinking and teaching and publicly speaking and caring for and being with those I loved and resting and then doing more and more of these creative and spritual endeavors, at least that's what I'd ideally hope for. She was non plussed, wanted me to think as she did - I think. She said she'd keep her job.
Maayan - I am feeling more present/centered/rested than I have felt in a while - thank G-d. I wonder if and hopeyou'll see you'll see this.
I was taken by your comment on that comment. I told the student that someone commented and it meant a lot to him, was an added piece to the whole. Things are so hectic at school that I haven't gotten to sit and have a long heart shmooze with that student. I hope to soon. Heavy sigh.
It is striking to me that words that I write here can be read by you wherever you are and be taken in all day. I am grateful for your (I wrote you and then caught it and added the r*) kind seeing and saying and framing of how I spend my time.(*I felt compelled to share that technical thing about my wording just now - I find often in blogging/writing that there is so much editing and rewriting and catching and I try but often miss and am self conscious about it, but I guess it's just human).
Post a Comment
<< Home