Dear and Cryptic

"Well, how would you feel if I wrote, "Rabbi Fleischmann has bad table manners?" my hostess asked. " "I would like it," I said, "if it was combined with comments that conveyed curiosity, compassion and empathy and complexity." We were discussing the idea of writing about people and the lashon harah question. I expressed my dream, that we could live in a world where people didn't think less of other people when their humanity was revealed. And a world in which people weren't hesitant to have something "negative" written about them. I hope I have nice table manners. I might one day write about about why I might not have good table manners, but then again I might not.

There's to be ninth grade theme next year of identity, and then one of prayer. Here's a letter I sent out yesterday to colleagues. I did so at the urging of the head of the English department, the mastermind behind the identity project:

Hi,

I’m throwing out an identity related theme that I hope to place on the Wiki. It’s something I discussed in my Chumash class the last time we did Bamidbar , 5 years ago. The change of Yehoshua’s/Joshua’s name is significant, raises the question, what’s in a name?, which of course opens up a Pandora’s box: Who are we? How do we become who we are? What’s the Torah’s/Judaism’s view of names?

There’s a concept of Shem Gorem – a name causes, has power, affects (effects?). The context of this name change is the story of the “spies” – Meraglim. It’s fascinating that the two spies who are spared from giving bad reports, maligning the land, and being punished for it were each changed by our 2 themes, which are connected: identity and prayer. They each needed a major shift in who they were. Yehoshua had his name changed, and within the change Moses/Moshe made was really saying a prayer for G-d to save Yehoshua from this bad scene. And Caleb, the other one who made it went off on his own to a holy place (Maarat HaMachpeila) where the patriarchs and matriarchs – Avot and Imahot – are buried and prayed (and surely invoked their NAMES) and became a new man.
It is worthy of note that the people sent on this mission were great men. They are listed not in order of tribes but, apparently, in order of their greatness. And Yehoshua and Caleb are not at the top of the list. They were transformed and changed, in name and in essence, through prayer.

There’s a lot about names and essences to discuss (many Torah examples exist – the terribly sad explanations behind the names of most of Jacob/Yaakov’s children, Adam naming all the animals, the reasons often given for names, Lavan pretending to be pure/white, Edom, being out for blood, etc).

Incidentally – this story is in the this week’s weekly portion. Enjoy.

G-d Bless
Neil Fleischmann

I didn't write on the parsha on Friday. It was a busy week and day. Perhaps this can count retroactively. A lot of questions: Who was more against the plan, Yehoshua or Calev? Can you see arguments for both sides? Does Yehoshua getting a prayer from his mentor mean he needed an outside push? Why the name change AND a prayer? Do they have to be seen as two things? Is it "fair" that Moshe put in a word in for or showed extra confidence in Yehoshua? Does Calev's going off on his own show inner strength? Why are there several mitzvot in this parsha that interupt the narrative? Why nesachim? Why tzitzit? Could it be that there's a similarity between the meraglim and the eigel story? Is there a recurring theme of the Jews (us) just not getting that G-d takes care of us? Can it be that at the start of his mission even Moshe didn't get this idea and thus wondered how "he" could get the Jews out?

It dawned on me today during dusk that Ashrei seems to have a dark undercurrent. Almost every line is about the future. This wistfulness of Ashrei never hit me before this.

I just got a call from a dear and cryptic colleague/friend. He called and asked if I might be missing something...something that I might have left in his car...something that might help me keep track of getting to appointments... Finally he told me that he found a watch in the shotgun seat I'd occupied. I explained that due to a rash Ive been carrying rather than wearing my watch. I asked if it had a brown leather band and a face that reveals the mechanics and has no numbers or lines. Yes, that was it. He assumed I was panicking searching for it. I have several watches and didn't get that this one was lost. I told him that I'm probably losing things all the time that I don't even know are lost. We agreed that that was an apt metaphor, probably true.

I just took Patrimony off the shelf. A dear mentor gave it to me as a gift 13 years ago (it's inscribed). Shortly after I read it I purchased it as a Father's Day gift for my dad (HSLABW). And I gave t to him together with a card that said how the book reminded me of how dear my dad is to me. Its a remarkable book. I'm flipping through it, and it's all coming back. In the aftermath of a tough and touching episode Roth notes, "...There's an awful lot of life to cherish" (page 175).

A writer hero/friend wrote a book about his dear parents. He brought it to a rabbi and was told that not only can he, but that he must publish it. His siblings all agree. But he won't do it.

Those last two paragraphs were a kind of callback and an attempt at full circle closure for the post. But here comes a postscript - some haiku from these days.

Nobody's perfect

Hannah Montana knows that

Something worth knowing

~

A Colleague

With patience he tries

to answer every question

calmly and fairly

~

The noise in the halls

somehow sums everything up;

wanting to be done

~

It stinks to be last

On the other hand, be proud

To where do they run?