A Light Post On Weather

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WEATHER REPORT RELATED ROUTINES

THAT I RECALL;

IN TRIBUTE

TO A DEAR FRIEND'S MEMORY

OF A PHONY WEATHER REPORT MESSAGE

I LEFT ON OUR SHARED ANSWERING MACHINE

YEARS AGO WHEN HE WAS WORKING AS A RABBI

AND A CONGREGANT WAS MYSTIFIED (AT BEST)

BY MY ATTEMPT AT HUMOR

(OF WHICH I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION).

1. IT'S 5O DEGREES AT THE AIRPORT,BUT WHO CARES? - I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO LIVES AT THE AIRPORT. (GEORGE CARLIN)

2. THE BAROMETRIC PRESSURE IS LOW, BUT WHO CARES. I NEVER HEARD ANYONE WORRY ABOUT IT - "CANCEL THE BAR MITZVAH, THE BAROMETRIC PRESSURE IS VERY BAD." (JACKIE MASON )

3. OUTLOOK FOR TONIGHT - DARK. WITH SCATTERED LIGHTNESS COMING IN TOWARD MORNING... (CARLIN AGAIN, FROM SAME 70s HIPPY DIPPY WEATHERMAN ROUTINE.)

4. SEINFELD: WHEN I WANT TO KNOW THE WEATHER - I PUT ON ROMPER ROOM - IF THE BUNNY IS WEARING HIS YELLOW RAINCOAT, I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

5. BILLY CRYSTAL AS OLD JEWISH MAN REPORTING WEATHER: "OUTLOOK FOR TODAY, DON'T BE A BIG SHOT - TAKE AN UMBRELLA!"