The Box Marked "Other"

I wanted to write about the parsha. But I feel unready. I need to free associate a bit and and maybe in time address the parsha.

One of the questions that Rabbi Zucker raised at yesterday's meeting was - what is the goal of chinuch? As someone once said a in a very different context - I can't tell you what it is, but I know it when I see it.

I just discovered a book called Tolstoy Lied. The title comes from the narrators challenge about all unhappy families (people) being different, but all happy ones being the same. The narrator wonders: "Can the American story have an ending that's both honest and happy? Can we ditch the venerable idea that life is meaningless without tragedy - that every one of us has a choice between numbed-out conformity or noble suffering, with no option to check the box marked "other"? Or are the doom-mongers right?" Wow.

A former colleague of mine has a website of beautiful art. I recommend you check it out. The address is (now) in the comments.

Why does G-d appear to Avraham at the start of the parsha? Everyone who asks questions on the Torah asks this one. The issue is that there is no prophecy or mission or mitzvah conveyed. So, why? Rashi says that it was to visit the sick. Ramban develops this and says sometimes G-d gives a person great reward by just visiting them - resting his presence upon them. Perhaps we can learn from this that a great gift we can give others is simply being with them.

Rabbi Abraham Twerski explains that the mishnah says that silence is a fence for wisdom. But he wonders, if silence precedes wisdom how can you then be wise in silence? He explains that when someone has an issue others want to fix the problem and if they can't then they want to walk away. But real wisdom is to be with someone without saying anything, and understanding that this is what a person often deeply wants and needs.

Silence is a fence
first be silent, then be wise
Staying is wisdom

o

It is time for sleep. Good night and G-d Bless.

Which reminds me of this poem:

,

The time has come to say good night,

My how time does fly.

We've had a laugh, perhaps a tear,

and now we hear good-bye.

.
I really hate to say good night,

for times like these are few.

I wish you love and happiness,

In everything you do.

.
The time has come to say good night,

I hope I've made a friend.

And so we'll say May God bless you,

Until we meet again.

o
-- Red Skelton