Feeling Like A Poet

If you go here and look at the second comment you'll find the poem Did I Miss Anything by Tom Wayman. If you click there on Show Original Post, you'll find my exchange with him from about a year ago. Recently the exchange continued. Wait for it... Wait for it...

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Me to T.W. (I rudely didn't write "dear" or sign off)

I studied your poem in two workshops over Passover (the title was Jewish Spiritual Poetry, which came down to any poem I like). One group was college age, one senior citizens. It was a big hit with both groups. There was some debate in the younger group as to if and how cynical you are in the various stanzas. One girl took it all not as set in a classroom but as somehow about someone who died. In my my mind it was clear that you were cynical till the last stanza where you let it go, but many disagreed. It's amazing how broad the meaning of a (great) poem can be. Thanks again for writing this!

T.W. To Me

Dear Rabbi Fleischmann:
Once again, my thanks for making use of the poem! I very much appreciate it. I never thought of the poem as cynical: I usually tell audiences that there is a lot of love and of hate in teaching, and that this is primarily a hate poem. People laugh at the comment, but I explain that there is something awfully passive-aggressive about the "Did I miss anything?" question, given how much work goes into preparing to teach, implementing one's lecture or lesson, etc. Something in the question completely dismisses (without thinking, of course...no ill intent, even if an ill effect) all that care and conscientiousness on the part of the teacher. So the poem is a reaction to that. I have another poem called "Death of the Grandmothers" about how whenever term papers fall due, all over the health region teams have to be put on alert due to the escalating number of grandmothers who suddenly fall terminally ill and/or perish. As some teachers who've used that poem have commented to me, it's never the grandFATHERS who the students tell you have unexpectedly sickened and/or have to be buried-- always grandmothers. Weird!

I like to think it's the generally oppressive nature of how we've institutionalized education (people being asked to learn things they don't want to know) that leads to these bizarre forms of behavior. I don't like to think it's human nature....

Anyway, once again, many thanks for your hospitality to my words,

shalom,

Tom

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I wondered if I was pushing my luck, but wrote again and was again thrilled with the respons Tom sent:
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Me to Tom:

Thanks! There's a book by a teacher, a collection of excuses called, "MY Grandmother died again," that you've remeinded me of. (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1561450537/sr=8-1/qid=1145985546/ref=sr_1_1/102-3505463-3892157?%5Fencoding=UTF8)

Is the hate you refer to the passive hate of the students, or the hate you have for their disrespect, or both? You're spot on about the aggression in the question - another example of the common phenomenon of an oblivious take on any life you have other than for the moment you stand before them, and any relevance to what you do other than the grade it leads to.

I tend to teach weaker students and find that you're right - that many problems stem from their not being interested in the subject and format that's forced upon them. They are good kids and smart - when they are interested and feel autonomous.

Thanks again so much for your reply.

(and then in an immediate foolow up email I asked:)

may i post your response on my blog?

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Tom's Reply:

Dear Rabbi Fleischmann:

I'd be honored to be on your blog. I assume you're New York's Funniest Rabbi? I've enjoyed what I've seen on the blog (if I've got you right), the haikus, among other entries. I look forward to following your adventures more closely.

And the hate is definitely for the sin, not the sinner. The students are all good kids. They don't even know what they're doing by asking the question, and are often mortified by what they've done when it dawns on them. I say "often" because sometimes they get angry, too. Some people who have used the poem as a way of shaming students, report that some students can notch up the aggression thereafter by saying (when the need arises), in an even more feisty tone (not even a question): "I didn't miss anything, did I." What a world.

Very best,

Tom