Mind Over Matter

When I was in eighth grade Mrs. Levine had us each memorize and recite a poem in front of the class. I chose the lyrics to the title song from Robert Klein's Mind Over Matter. When I finished and the teacher asked for comments Teddy Braun said, "it sounded like Neil was talking about himself." He was astute, at that time I had recently discovered stand up and it was my best defense.

I can't locate the lyrics on line so I'll reconstruct them from memory.

Mind Over Matter
By Robert Klein

When I was young
I used to take anyone's dare
I'd suck a lemon
and still smile

For my encore
I'd chomp on a worm or two
The crowd applauded
they went wild

All the kids thought I
was a great magician
The most amazing tricks
they had ever seen

They couldn't believe that I
could really do the things I did
Well...

At seventeen
I spent my time
thinking of jokes
clowning around
It all seemed simple
common sense

I couldn't fight
and I couldn't
run very well
My humor was my
self defense

No-one hit the jester
while he was jesting
If someone called my bluff
I'd have lost the game

My heart was beating faster
than I can count
And i can tell you -
I was scared!

But there's was one way around it
I had my head
and I learned how to use it so
some dinosaur couldn't punch and abuse it, no
I had no punch, but I had a few punch lines

Mind over, mind over, mind over matter...

Well, I made it through the years
And my mind has made it too
If you take good care of your mind
It'll do the same for you

Don't you be the guy
Who always wondered why
The things he couldn't do
He couldn't do

You've got a mind
So use it
Don't you toy with
or abuse it

But most of all
don't you lose it
Don't lose your mind
They're hard to find

Mind over
Mind over
Mind over matter.