On Tisha B'Av I watched the Chafetz Chaim Heritage Foundation video. The topic was Ona'at Devarim - pain inflicted by words. Many great points were made by Rabbi Yissochar Frand. Among the points:

Sticks and stones do hurt us, but words do too. Also, words can hurt but words can also heal. (I first read these points in Joseph Telushkin's book Words That Hurt, Words That Heal. I hope that the speakers were unaware that he had made the same points rather than having read it in his book but not acknowledging him due to politics. How sad would that be?)

Specifically, regarding this mitzvah we are reminded something that we are not reminded as a postscript to other mitzvot more on the public radar like Shabbos and Kashrut - Veyareitah Mei'Elokechah" -" "And you should fear your G-d." The Maharal explains that when you hurt someone with words you are inflicting pain on their G-dly part, their soul.

Rabbi Frand gave the example of eyes and how sensitive they are to pain, and said the soul is that sensitive too. He didn't say it, but I wonder if one can say that they eyes are so sensitive, like the soul, because they are the windows to the soul, the way you see a persons humanity. (I once read in a book about relationships by Pinchas Stolper that if you cut out eyes in a photo you won't be able to recognize the person any more. The eyes reflect the real person,the life force, the Neshamah.)

Because hurting with words cuts straight to the soul, G-d seeks punishment on this directly and harshly (Ani VeLo Shliach). Also, the reason fear of G-d is mentioned here is because humans have a tendency to speak freely and sometimes hurtfully to those with whom they are most comfortable and with whom they share privacy. If you are sweet to everyone in public, fear your G-d by remembering that he sees how you treat others with words in private too.

Rabbi Frand made amazing points. People hurt others he said, sometimes purposely, sometimes unintentionally, and sometimes thoughtlessly. He gave day to day powerful examples of hurtful words spoken without thought at shiva homes, in hospitals, and at weddings.

(To Be Continued, PG)