8:30 PM - Vulnerability is something I believe in. I was about the fifteen millionth person to discover a talk by Berne Brown on this topic. And a follow up which I was only the our millionth one to find. She said things that I felt like I knew already but they also sounded sincere and fresh and good. She said that showing vulnerability is a strength. She didn't say the opposite, but I believe that too, the acting all strong and not showing vulnerability is a weakness.
I feel like I used to be more vulnerable here. No I write in other places when i write in a raw way. But I'm in a good moment, feeling better than I've felt in a while. I was wondering what to do with this good feeling. I wrote some happy thoughts down on the bus ride home. But what else? I was thinking of calling or writing one of the people I've been needing to have The talk with. A sigh just crept in a sI wrote that past line. I don't think I believe in The Talk. But I was thinking it might be good to have some level of a hard conversation that's been long coming now, while I'm in a good place, the best I've been in some time.
I think what I'm going to do is write right here. Lately I've been writing more in journals, Also I write on Facebook where only about 400 people have direct access to what I write, as opposed to the billions who could find this blog. (Not that 400 hundred people read my Facebook posts, and not that billions of people read this blog.) Sometimes I write on Facebook so that people that read here won't see it. Sometimes (maybe now) I write here, knowing that some people who follow my every word there (the place i almost never speak of here) don't do this blog.
10:30 PM - I still have some of the unusual lift that I felt from a particularly good day. Sadly after 50 minutes of mostly listening and not being heard in a hard pseudo-conversation I have a bit of that good wind knocked out of me. I need to transition away from that space.
You honor breath
My friend said of my writing
Her breath honoring me
10:51 PM - On hold in a conversation with a dear mentor and friend.
Thank G-d. Thank G-d.Thank G-d.