Ad Shetagiah Le'Mekomo As You've Never Heard It Explained Before
The Me'iri says a striking thing about, "Don't judge your friend till you're in his place." He turns it on it's head. He says, don't think that you really know how good a person is till you see them in their own place, where people tend to be most comfortable and show their true colors." I think this, maybe, relates to marriage. You can do what you want to think you to get to know the person beforehand, but it will be some time till you're both comfortable in your home- comfortable enough that everything shows. (Marriage reminds me of that thing the dentists that visited my elementary school showed us. They gave us pills you chewed that highlighted all the invisible plaque on your teeth. Some people foresee or sell marriage as a panacea that saves you from all your stuff, it's really a spotlight that makes you face all your stuff).