Thursday, October 11, 2012

"So G-d Bless The Goods We Was Given"

It's 5:10 PM, I just got home and I'm ready to free-write out my day.  It started at 4:30 AM.  I woke up and stayed up for a bit. Then I napped till regular wake up at 6:15 via the good people at Snoozester.com.  My 7:20 ride was running a bit late and when I called from the lobby at 7:25 to tell him that the apartment lot's gate was stuck and his car was trapped.  The management said they'd pay for a cab.  It was a whole to do. I taught my classes in school and then headed to Queens via public transportation. I got to the funeral just on time, went to the burial too.  Got a bite to eat, met my dad - he should live and be well - who drove me home and here I am.  My friend Pesach Sommer likes to point out how often I've cited my friend Jeff Korbman's comment when I once told him that I had a long day: "Neil, it wasn't longer or shorter than any other day."  Some days sure feel longer.  I need to breathe in and process in ways other than blogging.

T.T.Y.L. - P.G..

5:57 PM - I love that I've inspired friends to write haiku.  I received several today:

Happy birthday, Neil
Your expressions inspire
All over the ’net
- S.B.

A Happy Birthday
Days gone by, days yet to come
Very exciting
- Y.G.

Friends write poetry
Expanding our horizons
all because of you
- P.S.

8:45 PM - My dear friend who lost his father just called. He called to thnk me for today, but more importantly he called to take a break from the shiva room and to vent.  Priceless.

9:21 PM - I rode with the meis to the cemetery. I oscillated between saying Tehillim and writing:

When we love someone we turn them over like a sculpted piece of artwork, looking at every angle in every shade of light, in one direction and then in another. Again. Again. We look at the handsome features and the cracked flaws - at the forces of light and life and at the darkness and death.  When we love someone we let go and we never let go concurrently.  Again.  Again. 

We devote ourselves to our loved ones and delicately dedicate ourselves to our loved ones.  Again.  Again.


Not being a car driver leads me to unexpected places at unexpected times, perhaps none more strikingly so than accompanying a person's body from their funeral service to their final resting place.  I took that ride with my grandparents and with my mom. Right now I'm in the hearse with my dear friend's dad.  


Much emphasis is placed on being with the body up until the funeral (shmirah), but that last ride and having a shomer for the body then seems to barely be given a thought.  Once again I was granted this honor today due to my being willing and able, combined with the - in this case - convenient reality that I don't drive.


It's difficult sharing a car with a funeral home driver who's just doing his job, especially given the given that in the back of the car there's a body without a soul. 


It seems to me that this time period of watching the dead body is even more neglected and less spoken about than death itself.


We've just pulled into the cemetery and the driver is smiling too much for my taste.  I could also live without his kibitzing with the gravediggers  like he just arrived at a party.


Irony of ironies - today is my birthday. 



11:27 PM - I thank G-d for my life.  Good night and G-d bless, nothing more to confess.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"via the good people at Snoozester.com" That made me laugh out loud!

October 12, 2012 at 10:58 AM  
Blogger rabbi neil fleischmann said...

I wish I could claim that as my joke. It's a real site that I actually use.

http://www.snoozester.com/

October 12, 2012 at 4:04 PM  

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