Thursday, September 27, 2012

Today

There are things I wish were true about my life that aren't, things I wish I have that I don't.  And yet.  I am grateful for what I have every day.  Today I helped several students in guidance with several issues, texts and subtexts, black fire and white fire.  I also taught three classes.  And I conferred with a colleague about a student s/he is guiding.  I exercised, had physical therapy, ate a nice dinner, and spent time trying to pick a really nice lulav and esrog - hopefully succeeding.

In class - though it was the day after Yom Kippur I found my umph and the umph of the students and did a long  and beautiful Ramban.  He gives four reasons for why G-d commanded Moshe and Aharon to count the Jewish People: 1- Out of love 2 - For Moshe and Aharon to bless them 3 - To prepare for war 4 - To prepare for dividing the land.  The reasons vary.  What are your thoughts?

In speech class we're almost done with the autobiographical ones.  Someone spoke today about her dog (the second speech about a dog, this one's alive, the other one passed on) and someone else spoke in a humorous and yet serious way about the stigma of having red hair. The speeches have been outstanding.  I'm pleased that it's still September and almost everyone in the class has stood up, and with outline beside them presented an extemporaneous (not a manuscript speech and not an impromptu speech) before the whole class.

i write here instead of going to sleep,
so tired, so tired it's hard to be deep, 
and yet i always want to dig, 
deep inside myself - as if in an oil rig, 
dig deep down isn't that the goal? 
keep on digging till we find our soul. 

soon i'll be able to sit no more, 
i'll finally give in to the tiredness in my core, 
until then i'll continue to turn another page, 
to keep writing life with my quiet rage. 
sometimes i feel like nothing can sever 
me from words, that i can write forever, 

but one thing i've learned from scrutinizing the past 
is that everything goes even that which lasts, 
and so like childhood - in a skip and a hop - 
this poem i'm writing will have to stop, 
but for now it keeps free flowing 
seemingly without my knowing, 

like the poem has it's own life force, 
i the rider have been thrown off my horse 
and now the poem starts to write about me ;
and i wonder what it is that my poem sees
i wonder and wonder as i begin to nod
my poem scribbles "isn't life odd?"

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The poem . . . wow.

Sharon (Marson)

September 28, 2012 at 12:57 AM  
Blogger rabbi neil fleischmann said...

Thanks Sharon. It spilled out. I really appreciate the positive feeback.

September 28, 2012 at 4:31 PM  

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