Wednesday, May 30, 2012

A Brief Glimpse of Tuesday and Wednesday

Tuesday May 29, 2012

12:20 PM - I am feeling grateful and happy with my lot at this moment.

I just had a pleasant flashback.  A few years ago my dear colleague Rabbi Nir Knoll sat in on my class. Nir is brilliant and also down to earth, and kind.  He was full of praise for my spontaneity and ability to relate moment to moment with what happened in class, to write and draw things on the board as they seemed to fit with the teaching.  i was touched that someone so academically advanced and smart was excited by my different kind of smart.  Nir was taken by the things that in shined in that weren't his forte, and I was extremely appreciative. As I come off of a lovely Shavuot, finish another year, and now - specifically - head to teach again - I fondly remember that moment.

2:09 PM -

Worries in the air
Together we breathe them out
And calmly review

2:29 PM - G-d loves us.  We say it in our daily Jewish prayers and yet I feel it doesn't get a rep as a Jewish idea.  We need to emphasize this to ourselves and each other. As we just read in Rashi's comment on Bamidbar, G-d counts us, cherishes us, loves us.

Wednesday May 30, 2012

2:18 PM - As I write Rachel and Matti sing in a melodic and meditative manner of betrothed to G-d. The last time I listened to this I turned off the lights and meditated, but I don't have the nerve for that at the moment, although I sit alone.  I am feeling pressure, as the year winds down, as life moves ahead. I am doing some paperwork, preparation, review sheets, that kind of thing - you know, or maybe you don't.

2:35 PM  - In three minutes there is an assembly for the student council executive board elections. One of the candidates just stopped by for chizuk. 

Yesterday during our end of year one on one my supervisor told me of some beautiful exchanges he had with his honors Talmud class.  One statement in the Gemorah says that learning for insincere reasons is O.K. because mitoch shelo lishmah bah lishmah - out of the insincere will come sincere.  On the other hand, another Talmudic teaching tells us that is one learns for insincere reasons, then tov shelo nivrah - it would be better had he not been born.  (To Be Continued - please G-d)

2:43 PM - They're settling and the assembly will start soon.  The candidate just stopped by again.  He told me a beautiful thing.  he was more nervous saying a Dvar Torah to his grade on their class trip than he is now giving his stump speech to the whole school.  The beautiful part is that he thinks that it's because that was Torah and serious and this is popularity and politics - not as serious.

5:44 PM - Elections, class, counseling, final review prep, quick talk with dad, quick dinner, hopefully heading out soon.

My school did a survey on tefilah and then made a "found poem" from among the responses and I just received it (as is) in my email inbox:

I like davening
In silence
And at my own

Davening is peaceful

And gives me time
To reflect on my
Day and what
I've done.

Tefillah is important
To me
When I'm down
Or without hope,
It gives me
And a purpose
In life.

I like having a set
To communicate with
It forces me
To continually refresh
The relationship.

I like the personal
Aspect of tefillah,
Not only reading
The words
But making them
My own.

Tefillah gives
Me the feeling
That I always
Have someone
To lean on.

It gives me
A chance to pour
Out my feelings to Someone
And to thank Hiim
For everything
I have.

It makes me
Feel like God is listening.


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