A Sigh Post

Right after my mom died, seven months ago (sigh), I bought a book called The Neshama Should Have An Aliyah. I bought a bunch of books relating to the sudden inyanei deyoma. This one has a particular focus, though it is at the same time broad and practical. I just read through the chapter on matzeivot, as it's time to start thinking about putting one up (sigh). They gave several historical facts, and shitot, and lomdus. I'm trying to process it into something - ironically - alive for me. A friend of mine, who like many people has trouble sometimes moving himself aside and seeing the other, does not get what the loss of a parent feels like. How could he. And yet I wonder if there's not a better way to prepare. This dawned on me when I told him that someone who hasn't experienced the loss of a parent can't get it. He replied that he hopefully will never experience it. When the reality hits, that kind of denial makes it harder.

Till my mother died

I thought she would never die

That's how she played it

I have hundreds of pictures in my camera, about 900. Among those pictures I found this shot that I took about three years ago. My mother's tea cup collection was dear to her, precious to me, we'd speak about it from time to time. In its own way this display is a matzevah, a marker, a remembrance of my mother's life and love. Her neshamah should have an aliyah.