Hearing a Hollow Echo He Hesitated
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I just discovered rules and pointers about haiku on shadowpoetry.com.
The article discusses showing versus telling, and I can't imagine a better example
of two similar haiku, one that gets it right and one that missteps.
Can you tell which is which?
his aftershave lingers
in our bedroom
the funeral over--
the house is so lonely
without him
(One thing that surprises me time and again is
that the big machers
in the haiku world seem to pay no attention to the 5-7-5 rule at all.)
posted by rabbi neil fleischmann @ 9:23 PM
4 Comments:
The first is obviously the right way. Very poignant.
we have a winner! i'd still rather read the second one than a lot of written things in the world, and yet the first is evocative, makes it almost palpable.
Hearing a hollow
echo he hesitated
but plunged ahead nonetheless
the world needs haiku
he proclaimed and wrote
I guess I should have said, "the world needs tanka."
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