HBDTM

It's yud gimel Tishrei, the Hebrew date on which I was born.
I'm happy with the time that I was born. I thank G-d for life.

Who Is Noble?

Today's passuk, as broken up by Avraham Moskowitz, reads:

u

Do not rely

on nobles,

nor on

a human being

who holds

no salvation

o

Tehillim 146:3

William Safire - R.I.P.

Here's a well done tribute To William Safire, may he rest in peace,

at Lulei Demistafina.

Quick End Of Day Post

Just walked home from the bus terminal that I reached via two bus rides. The travel followed a day of six classes taught, not to mention one minyan run (oops). It all started (well not all) with a six o'clock in the morning wake-up. Didn't sleep much last night, hasn't hit me yet. The goal (not the, really one) is to not sleep before bed time.

It's cold out, the last minchah around is in a few minutes. How did this happen? It's got something to do with revolutions of the earth - I know, but I don't get it. Got taps put on my shoes and a crystal put in my watch at a heimische place on the way home. A shmancy place told me fixing this watch would be impossible and/or very expensive. This gentlemanly proprietor translated that to, "We don't know what we're doing," and had it going in five minutes, for a nominal fee.

I Am Trying

"My L-rd,

open my lips

that my mouth may tell

of Your praise.

0

Tehillim/Psalms 51:17

p

I am a fan of Tehillim Cards, something I was blessed to find this summer in Yerushalayim. Today I placed one in my pocket and it turned out to be this one. When I was in eighth grade this was assigned to me as my yearbook quote. I don't know who gave it to me or why. I do know that I like this line.

p

I also like the thought that Avraham Moskowitz was inspired to place together with this pasuk:

l

I am trying to bring

a spiritual dimension to this world.

Please open my mouth

so I may say the right things.

Quick Post

I'm at work a bit early, have about five minutes to post. Last night at 10, Rabbi Herschel Schachter gave a post Yom Kippur shiur about Sukkos. It was great, I'm glad I was mosheish myself to the Beis Medrash. What to mention? I like the asides. He mentioned that Maharam Rotenberg brought down several halachot based on dreams. In one dream he was asked why he learned in a Beis Medrash without a mezuzah. So he put one on and then had a dream in which he was wished well for having done so. And the Shulchan Aruch cites this (though the Shach questions it) lehalachah - that although a Shul doesn't need a mezuzah a Beis Medrash should have one due to that Maharam.

A Quick Post YK Post

This is how I felt three years ago at this time and it still resonates. If I'm allowed to say so, it's one of my favorites of my posts.

The shul I prayed in started at 7AM and ended at 8, to answer two of the post Yom Kippur FAQs. The other answers are: Difficult and not really. As the Jeopardy music plays in my head I'll provide the questions: 1. How was your fast? 2. Did you have a break?

When most of the synagogue attendees are just either side of twenty it's understandable that they have the stamina to stay in a room and pray for 13 hours straight. At 3:25, it was announced that we'd resume for Mincha at 3:45. Then it went straight again. A lot of praying and standing, and of course fasting, is taxing. Why and how do so many people claim it's not?

Part of the answer is that it's a trick question because most people don't have an experience quite that intense. Breaks of 1-3 hours in the afternoon are starting to make sense to me. Where I pray though, taking such a break would have meant missing one of the confessionals, or missing a Torah reading, or missing The Avodah, or The Asarah Harugei Malchut, or, or, or...

It's intense and invigorating. Hopefully loads of good is in store for all of us for this year. GNAGB, till I post again.

Five Years Ago July

Someone searched the words "the temple that sherman siff is the rabbi of" and landed on this story, which I wrote about my dear rebbe, Rabbi Siff. For some reason google linked not only to that post but to all the archives of July, 2005. I don't look at my recent keyword activity often (really) but I've been curious lately (because due to the greatness of Rabbi Pesach Oratz Z"TL people have been googling his name on the heels of his passing on erev Yom Kippur and for the moment my blog is one of the main places where he is cited).

While I had July '05 open I looked around a bit and found some points of interest to me. It was the first summer I blogged and I put a lot of thought into things I was writing about and sharing for the first time.

Here, I cite the song Shades Of Grey and a commenter reveals that for a long time it was her favorite song. Here, I wrote about the importance of listening to mussar from anyone who gives it to you, and jack agrees. In this post I take notice of a poem entitled Notice by Sreve Kowit (which I discovered in Poetry 180). Here, I make the startling claim that I've never had a bad day in my life (I remember my dad commenting off-line on this one). Here, I post right after having seen the play Primo, I recommend reading about this man and his life.

In this one I wrote of rabbis and received a comment from the great writer Rochelle Krich. This one contains an interesting thought from Rabbi Yaakov Neuberger and references two of my closest friends. In this one I write about a topic close to my heart, what most people call memory and I call living a moment so deeply that you live inside it forever.

In this post I speak about most of my best friends being Rabbis and I thank my dear friend Richard Kirsch for getting me into the senior camp scene, I am forever grateful. Here's a story about a young man who left yeshiva to enter business and signed a "contract" with The Netziv.
Peter Himmelman's words have helped me a lot, perhaps never more-so than through his song Raina.
u
In July '05. I first tried out the haiku chain. I also wrote for the first time about the tension between keeping a private diary as well as a public blog.

On July 17, 2005 I cited the quote which I don't remember ever hearing before but liked as I just read it as if for the first time: "Don't be too sweet or people will eat you." Here you'll find a tribute to Saul bellow. For one of my favorite stories click here. For one of my favorite poems ever check out this post.

I wrote a three piece post about my Hebrew name, Natah: (1 - 2 - 3 ).

Inside

p

From a child

Stays the I

You now peek

Find unique

Still wrapped gifts

So many ifs

(-July 2005)

A Brief Post On Eating On Erev Yom Kippur

Wireless is everywhere. A group of guys are completing hatarat nedarim to my left as another bunch finish davening on my right here in the back of the new YU Beit Medrash. I'm thinking about today, more-so than about tomorrow. It is erev Yom Kippur.

Much has been written about the mitzvah to eat on erev Yom Kippur. I think that besides being literal it may also be metaphorical, the idea being that on erev Yom Kippur it's we are supposed to live a perfect a normal day as possible.

Yom Kippur is an unusual day, one could say that it's an extreme attempt to attain purity and forgiveness through through isolation and separation that we are neither able nor expected to keep up on a regular basis. On the other hand, the day before Yom Kippur is the last typical day of life because Yom Kippur. How we live on this day is telling, for example - do we consider our eating to be a mitzvah, something holy that we do for G-d's sake, or is it an impulse that we don't even consider?

And Yet

About ten years ago on a Motzai Shabbos I was at a Camp Morasha Melaveh Malkah. They know how to do it up: the food just kept coming. It was mostly Chinese food, trays and trays brought out and devoured. I was standing next to Rabbi Pesach Oratz, Z"TL, and I must have said something self conscious about the menu, from which I was indulging. He produced, as if from no-where, a challie roll wrapped in a napkin and said, "This is my Melave Malkeh." To me that kind of sums up the man. He was there because it was the right thing to do. On the other hand, over-eating was wrong. So, he planned ahead and stuck to his guns. He made it seem simple.

My yetzer harah is telling me that I have to eat pizza for Melave Malka, that there is no choice. Also, an inner voice is telling me that there's a mitzvah to eat on erev Yom Kippur and it's erev Yom Kippur. It doesn't really make sense that this should apply to the night of the ninth. And yet.

Buy All Of Our Lives

Sarah Shapiro just edited a wonderful book called All Of Our Lives. As usual, her own writing provides a highlight (despite the reality that she generously shares the limelight, and most of the book is the writing of others). In a wonderful piece about a tree pruned during Shmitah in her neighborhood she cites Emily Dickinson and how she has helped her in her daily life.

She writes in her introduction about the word I and how in school she was discouraged from using it in writing. She gets it and yet feels that much is lost when we write we take out our I. This reminded me of an exchange I had with the great Professor Elizabeth Couch. She wanted our papers to be first person. I hadn’t realized that. I wrote in the sanitized way that was encouraged by other teachers. She critiqued that I wrote the way I did, that I’d taken out my I. I went to her to plead my case explaining that other Social Work professionals said that we should write in an objective rather than personal way. She replied, “I know and it’s killing our profession.”

Not I

No one is perfect
No speaker, teacher, not I
And yet
If we wish to learn
To grow
We must learn
From imperfect others
As we work on
Our imperfect selves

Noises Swirl

Assuming that my dad - HSLABW - was born before sunset, I just confirmed (via http://www.hebcal.com/converter/ ) that his Hebrew birthday is the 27th of Ellul. Mine is the 13th of Ellul. This week is my father's Bar Mitzvah parshah. Mine is the reading of the first day of Sukkos.

I was intrigued by a footnote (Artscroll pg. 708) on one of today's selichot (Ben Keseh Le'Asor - Between The Hidden Day of Rosh HaShana and The Tenth Day/Yom Kippur). Rather than simply forming the letters of his name, the author of the poem embedded in the beginnings of the lines the words "Eliezer BeRav Shlomo Hashem Yigmeleihu Chesed - Eliezer the son of Solomon, May G-d Bestow Kindness Upon Him."

I love when Jonathan Mark waxes poetic and nostalgic, as he did in a recent article which included these words, “'Y’know, Babylon once had two million people in it,” says the Stage Manager in 'Our Town' 'and all we know about ’em is the names of the kings and some copies of wheat contracts ... Yet every night all those families sat down to supper, and the father came home from work, and the smoke went up the chimney, same as here ... Some things are eternal,' and those eternal truths are the essence of who we are, and where we’ve been." He goes on to cite Becket who said that the last day of your life will be like any other, only shorter.

The article is about the birth and ostensible death of the Jewish community of The Grand Concourse. Mostly, it seems, people moved to Co-Op City. It's a great article.

For some of my thoughts, and a story, on He'ezinu, click here.
;

Noises swirl

from a disappearing world

Shabbos approaches

On Confessing

Sometimes we spend so much time praying we forget to speak to G-d. An octogenarian congregant where I officiate for Pesach commented that he feels the phrasing of our Prayer For The Welfare of the government is outdated. In a similar vein it might be suggested that our Yom Kippur confessionals are phrased in an old fashioned way. I am not suggesting that we alter the holy format. But it wouldn't hurt to talk to G-d on Yom Kippur in our own language about missteps we made this past year. In fact it might take us to the center of what the day is meant to be about.
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Jordana Horn writes about how last year in B'nai Jeshurun on the Upper West after their regular prayers they recited additional confessionals. She felt that these supplemental prayers were "moving and wanted to share some." And she adds her blessing: "I hope this is a year where we can run to make peace, with others and ourselves." Amen.
f

We sin against You when we sin against ourselves and each other,

for our failures of truth, O God, we ask forgiveness:

f

For projecting emotions we do not feel;

for using the sins of others to excuse our own;

for denying our responsibility for our own misfortunes;

for refusing to admit our share in the troubles of others;

for condemning in our children the faults we tolerate in ourselves;

for condemning in our parents the faults we tolerate in ourselves;

for passing judgment without knowledge of the facts;

for remembering the price of things but forgetting their value;

for teaching our children everything but the meaning of life;

for loving our egos better than the truth;

for not respecting God's image in every human being;

for running to do violence, yet crawling to make peace.

f

For using people as stepping stones to advancement;

for confusing love and lust;

for withholding love to control those we claim to love;

for hiding from others behind an armor of mistrust;

for treating with arrogance people weaker than ourselves;

for acting condescendingly towards those whom we regard as inferiors;

for shunting aside those whose age is an embarrassment to us;

for giving ourselves the fleeting pleasure of inflicting lasting hurts;

for cynicism, which eats away our faith in the possibility of love;

for not respecting God's image in every human being;

for running to do violence, yet crawling to make peace.

l

On a related note, these Al Cheits for singles, by Esther Kustanowitz, may be of interest to you.

Look how our pious ones have been lost

Oh Mighty Redeemer, deliver us for your sake

See how our strength has left us

Look how our pious ones have been lost

So that there is no one to pray for us

~

From Slichot For Thursday of Aseret Yemei Teshuvah

(Artscroll translation, page 781)

Rabbi Pesach Oratz Z"TL 2

I am writing and posting in real time and have about seven minutes to do so. I'm between a program and a meeting. The meeting is of the Tanach department. The program was about faith. There was a powerful speaker and then we ran sessions discussing G-d, asking students to write down on a piece of paper a moment in their life when they felt close to G-d. The option was then presented to share what you wrote. One student spoke about losing a disabled sibling and how during the years of that sister's life she felt G-d in their relationship. I wrote a card too and will keep it to myself for now.

I can't stop thinking about Rabbi Oratz. He was a true man of faith, honesty, kindness, and integrity. He was like Kalev, as compared to Moshe/Yehoshua. I believe that he was one of the greatest men alive in our generation. People that know me know that this is not just a case of acharei mot kedoshim emor. I felt strongly that Rabbi Oratz was a great man and said so often while he was alive. The first question I would ask Stern students was if they had him as a teacher.

Not that long ago Rabbi Oratz had the occasion to go to Rav Shlomo Zalman for an eitzah. He stressed to me how taken he was by the friendly, warm manner in which Rav Shlomo Zalman received him. He felt Rav Shlomo Zalman's warmth , caring, brilliance, and presence, and was blown away. That's the way I always felt about Rabbi Oratz.

Deep Thoughts

By Rabbi Neil Fleischmann (When I was born, my parents said, "He's cute - let's name him Rabbi... and...why not... let's give him Neil as a middle name).

I have an original theory. Would you like to hear it? Good. You know how people say, "No pun intended." I think that our mind gravitates toward words similar to the ideas we're talking about. Simple, yet I've never heard anyone point it out. Check it out next time you see this happen and I believe you'll see I'm right.

I also think that when people say, "Pun intended," it really wasn't intended. People just take credit for what their subconscious did for them. Our conscious minds don't work that quickly. h

We also go from one topic to another in seemingly random ways, but I believe that if we pay attention we'll find that various topics we speak about are usually related. Our subconscious navigates us from one statement to another in ways more telling than we realize. It's worth looking into this and seeing what connects seemingly unrelated things that we speak of.

I thought I had ended this post and then a funny (not ha ha) thing happened on the way to pushing publish. On a whim I searched "subconscious" in google images , to see if there was a relevant picture to add to the post. I came across the picture above and knew it was a keeper. Done. Now I am compelled to continue the post. Images always come from somewhere, and in google, as in life, context is key.

This brings us to another, more out there theory, of mine. We gravitate toward things, people,and places that interest us. Without willfully working at it we find them and they find us. It's a G-d thing; we couldn't understand.

This artist's rendering of the mind was included in an essay entitled Subconscious, Not Food, Causes Weight Gain. In a post, a month back, I asked, "What will losing weight get me? And then? And then? And then?" I lifted that question directly from a Weight Watchers leader, who is more psychologically inclined than your average WW employee. His theory was that people will only stick to losing weight and remaining in that state when they realize why it truly matters to them on a psychic level. Answers like health or fitting into clothes are incomplete. His theory is that whatever you give as your answer for why you want to lose weight needs to be addressed again with the question, "And then?" This needs to be done with each subsequent answer until you get to a place that is real, deep, true enough to get you to stay committed to the healthy eating.

It all started when a woman at the Weight Watchers meeting said she wanted to lose weight because she had sciatica and if she weighed less then it would be less painful. The leader respectfully suggested that that wasn't enough. I asked why health is not enough of a reason. His basic answer was that it's just not. Health is never the core of a person's weight issue, it's always something in the realm of emotions.

For the record, I'm dubious about the hypnosis thing suggested in the article this picture appeared with. But I agree with the idea that the subconscious holds the answer to why we won't let go of weight and other things that weigh us down. I think if work we can bring it to the conscious level and be divinely human by exercising more free will than our subconscious previously allowed us to do.

This post took a month to write. I know it was meaningful to one person. I hope someone besides me enjoys it too.

For Lack Of What Is Found There

“It is difficult

to get the news from poems

yet men die miserably every day

for lack

of what is found there.”

p

- William Carlos Williams

(from “Asphodel, That Greeny Flower”)

(

I came across this quote, and it seemed relevant to me and my life. It was cited in this week's AJWS Dvar Torah (what they call Dvar Tzedek) by Rachel Farbiarz who "is a graduate of Harvard College and Yale Law School, as well as of an Orthodox yeshivah high school."

'

I mentioned 10Q and stand by my recommendation. I have been saving the questions and answers for myself, but keeping them private. Today, for question number four, I entered my answer with my name. I will share it here as well.

[

Describe a broader event in the world that has impacted you this year? How? Why?

[

This is a touchy question because at the Rosh HaShanah table I ate at someone brought up a news event from this past year and criticized me for not being familiar with it (Bishop Richard Williamson having made a comment denying the Holocaust) (they went further - mocking me when something came up about the singer Mary - of Peter and Paul fame - passing away, how I knew of that and not of the other story).

The landing of the plane on the Hudson in January really touched me. I was listening to the radio from the start to the end of the story. I blogged about it and have been in touch with one of the survivors. It helped remind me of daily miracles. It also showed the power and importance of age and experience.

[

--------------------------------------

l

Yesterday I came across a translation of the words - "nafshi laHashem mishomrim laboker, mishomsim laboker." The Metzudah Machzor translates it as:

k

My soul yearns for G-d

More than watchmen

Wait for the morning

More than watchmen

Wait for the morning

p

-------------------------------------

l

On Tzom Gedaliah

;

A pound of my flesh

As a sacrifice to You

We call them fast days

Rabbi Pesach Oratz Z"TL

I came home last night and opened my computer to tragic news. A giant of a man has passed away on Friday, Erev Rosh HaShanah. Rabbi Pesach Oratz was a rare gem of a person. For four summers we worked together and as best as I could I followed in the dust of his feet.

I was awed by his brilliance. Practically not a day went by that I didn't think of calling him. The day that I dreaded has come.

About a year and a half ago I called Rabbi Oratz for guidance. I was going through a major life decision. I can't imagine have received more caring and wise advice from a rabbi/yoeitz.

One of his sons emailed me because he found that I quoted his father on my blog. The family wants to collect memories and Torah of Rabbi Oratz. If like me you're one of the thousands who was influenced by this great man you should let his family know.

I've mentioned Rabbi Oratz in the blog here, here, and here. Hopefully I will share more Torah and memories ASAP. He will teach us from beyond the grave.

Guest Post

By Rabbi Pesach Sommer

I am, I believe, one of the world’s best jugglers. Sadly, there is little market for those of us who can only juggle one ball.

My marathon training was ideal this past summer. Not only was I logging the necessary miles, but I was hitting the gym three times a week and getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night. It was easy. Being a teacher, I have the summer off, and few things of which I must take care. In the last two weeks things have changed. Now that the school year has begun, I have less free time to train and I am sleeping many fewer hours. I do not yet know what effect this will have on my running. h
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As I sat in shul yesterday, it occurred to me that the Aseres Yemei Teshuva, the ten day period from Rosh HaShana through Yom Kippur is like my summer training; not easy, but certainly easier. During these ten days we have one job; to work on being better. I do not yet know how much I will grow, but I do know that it is easier to change when that is your only focus. It is far more difficult to bring that growth, or more correctly, that effort to grow, into the year where other demands are there demanding your attention.

It is true in other areas of life as well. It is easy to be a good husband, father or friend, when that is the only thing demanded of me. Far more telling, and more important is how I do when I am trying to deal with work, marathon training and getting more sleep.

Perhaps it is time for me to learn to juggle more balls.

KVT

There's blogging and there's life. A healthy relationship with blogging, as a healthy relationship with anything and anyone, includes boundaries. There is so much I could write now, so much I've blogged in my head about Rosh HaShanah. Alas, life calls. The adult in me is not going to allow the childlike part of me to free write just now.

I simply want to wish everyone a good year in every way.

Blessings are a cool thing, they come out differently every time. This year more than ever colleagues have been sending out good year wishes within the school's email. Here's my response to a co-worker's wishes:

To: X: RE: Shana tova
thanks. wishing that all good dreams come true for all who you love.
KVT -
Neil

And here's the response I received:

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
That's lovely. Thank you. To you too. Like the KVT. Never saw that.

And here's what I wrote back:

Thanks, I never saw it either till I wrote it.

May we all

for good

be inscribed

~

Face ourselves,

and feel no

need to hide

You're Welcome

I just answered my first question (which I've saved only for myself) of 10 questions over 10 days at 10Q. I recommend this.

Mark Wills' Wise Words

My thanks to my dear friend Reuven Stafford for letting me know about this song, "Don't Laugh at Me."

Written Last Night In Bed

i

The Divine Presence Is On My Head

i

My pen feels heavy

and I start to fade

i

I will not stop thinking

I will not go quietly

i

To sleep

B'Chol Yom

Regulars may remember that I wrote about this event when it happened. You may also recall that I referred to a survivor named Steven OBrien whom I heard interviewed and who then contacted me. I posted a poem of his, which he wrote in the wake of his experience. Steven just emailed me to let me know that he'll be featured in a book coming out in November. He also wrote, "My faith is still strong!! Faith in everyday life and in what you are doing even if it is mundane is something to cherish. Believe in Miracles!! "

A Fishy Post

I am writing this in real time. I just had a great talk with a student. His opening question was, "Are fish holy?" I mentioned that fish always keep their eyes open, always watching - kind of like G-d.

Talking about fish reminded me of my dear high school rebbe who used to say that G-d created this beautiful world for us to enjoy. The example he gave of something really nice to look at in this world was the neon tetra fish.

h

Then David mentioned a new fish he's getting called the discus fish. Cool.

Next, David wondered if you can use an aquarium for tashlich. Your first thought would be no, right? Well, what do you say about the next picture?

But Is It Art?

Strive For _______

G-d's signet reads truth

We are to emulate Him

To make truth our cause

As only we can know G-d

And only G-d knows our truth

As The Day of Rest Departs - Post Selichot 5769

Y.U. starts selichot at chatzot, so I'm getting back just now. I haven't looked into it that deeply, not sure what people rely on to start earlier. The baal tefilah was President Richard Joel and I'm still humming the ending old school tune of Shomer Yisrael.

Last year I didn't have a selichot book for the first night and a kind soul shared with me, reminding me of Even Higher and wrote about it upon my return, right about now - then. On this Motzai Shabbos of selichot last year I reminisced about selichot (and selichot posts) of years past, as well as about the Shabbos that had just come and gone. Three years ago at this time of the start of school and of the approaching Shanah Tovah, I posted about selichot and more (including a version of the Rosh HaShanah questions included at the end of this piece).

Shabbos was rich. Many people, much good talk, much true connection, friendship... At last night's meal an unaffiliated Jew was bombarding everyone with questions including why G-d would care about our prayers and The Holocaust. I sat quietly as others jumped in to answer. I was reminded of a story that I heard about Rav Chaim Soloveitchik. A man approached him with many aggressive questions about Judaism and wanted answers. Rav Chaim told him that he couldn't give him answers. Rav Chaim, who was a very sharp thinker, explained to the man that when someone comes with questions you can provide them with answers. However, when someone comes with answers - veiled as questions - there's little you can answer.

Someone at last night's meal spoke about reading the large Hebrew biography about Nechamah Leibowitz. That book contains some things that the English books on Nechamah do not. Apparently, according to this work, when Nechama married her father's brother it did not sit well with her father at all and he gave the silent treatment to his brother, and to some extent his daughter, for some time.

At lunch a good friend who hosted the meal read a chapter from this book, sparking interesting conversation. I often leave out proper names. One of the guests at lunch seemed to like the idea of being mentioned on my blog. She's finishing up her degree at Ferkauf and working on a novel. Her name, if my memory serves me right, is Yael Taler.

In Avot 5:9 we're told that one of the behaviors that distinguishes a person of wisdom from an undeveloped person is that when engaged in discussion a wise person speaks about first things first and last things last (omeir al rishon rishon ve'al acharon acharon). The early commentator Rabeinu Yonah asks what is so impressive about keeping track of the order of things in a discussion. He explains that if I say five points, it doesn't take great wisdom for you to answer them accordingly from one to five. True wisdom though is to respond to a list of ideas in the most appropriate order, which often means reorganizing the way things were originally set up. According to Rabeinu Yonah placing "rishon rishon" refers to appropriately prioritizing how you address what someone brings before you, even if they presented it in a different hierarchy.

In selichot we say repeatedly that G-d is ma'avir rishon rishon - that He looks over and removes our sins one by one. It came to me tonight that maybe this means that G-d reorders our issues for us, wisely helping us see what truly comes first.

"As the day of rest departs

We come before You first of all

Bend Your ear from high

You who sits in praise

To listen to our song

And to our prayer."

h

-------------------------------------------

h
Ten Rosh HaShanah Questions

1. What's your fondest Rosh HaShana memory?
2. What's your favorite part of the Rosh HaShana meal?
3. What's your earliest Rosh HaShana memory?
4. Is Rosh HaShana joyous or somber/serious? Explain.
5. Is it wrong to sleep on Rosh HaShana?
6. Talk about Tashlich. What sources and symbolisms can you share?
7. What do you think about while the shofar is sounded?
8. What tunes have stayed with you since childhood?
9. Can you name any songs that come from Rosh HaShana's Haftora's?
10. Why doesn't a Kittel have pockets?

Soon Shabbos

So many poets talk about light and spirit and love and pain and longing and angst and and and. But neither Rumi, nor Collete, nor any other poet speaks to me like Zelda. It's not just that she speaks to me, but it feels like she's speaking from the same place from which I speak.

.

"Softly the Sabbath has plucked the sinking sun. Slowly the Sabbath descends, the rose of heaven in her hand. How can the Sabbath plant a huge and shining flower in a blind and narrow heart? How can the Sabbath plant the bud of angels in a heart of raving flesh?... Light a candle! Drink wine! Slowly the Sabbath descends and in her hand the flower, and in her hand the sinking sun."

.

It's hard when you want everyone to experience and articulate like Zelda. Those kind of expectations lead to disappointment. And yet.

.

I pray,

as the sun

gets plucked

by my girl Shabbos.

~

May we be

blessed to feel,

and think, and do,

and speak

more deeply.

~

May our hearts,

no matter how sick

or old,

be fertile for

the "huge and shining flower"

that our girl Shabbos

wishes to have us nurture.

~

May all ravaged flesh

be calmed

by the essence of Shabbos.

~

May our divine candles,

our human souls,

add light to the world;

individual light,

myriad lights.

~

May the wine we drink

infuse our hearts with joy,

and increase world happiness.

~

May we catch Shabbos

as she flutters

down upon us

wearing a flower

in her sunlit hair.

Nitzavim/Vayeilech

”Hanistarim LaHashem Elokeinu,
VeHaniglot Lanu Ulevaneinu Ad Olam” -
"Hidden things may pertain to God our Lord,
but that which has been revealed
applies to us and our children forever."
- Devarim 29:28

(The crux of what I’m presenting here is based on the Shemen HaTov.
I have embellished and expanded on the idea.)

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Really, mitzvot should only be between G-d and us (for Hashem what we do should be nistarot). Our own needs dictate that we publicize what we do, for the sake of our children as well as others (though, for our sake actions should be niglot). Children especially need to know about the Tzedaka, Torah, and Chesed of their parents because they learn through that example. TO READ WHOLE ARTICLE CLICK HERE

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I will then display anger against them and abandon them.
I will hide my face from them
and they will be their enemies' prey.
Beset by many evils and troubles,
they will say, 'It is because my God is no longer with me
that these evils have befallen us.'
- Devarim 31:17

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The conventional take of G-d hiding his face, which can be traced to Moreh Nevukhim 1:23, 3:51 and to the Ralbag on this verse is that G-d will take away his protection/providence. The lesser known alternative to this is that of the Chizzkuni and Paaneach Razah and Baaley Tosafot (cited by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan); that G-d out of love must look away when we are being punished, as if He can't bear to see it. TO READ WHOLE ARTICLE CLICK HERE

Prayerful Thoughts

The haiku of the previous post was adapted from a comment of Rabbi Nosson Scherman on Yishtabach. I think the commentary in the Artscroll Siddur is eclectic, meaningful and helpful:

"Rabbi Bunim of Pshisca interpreted homiletically that the word shirei (songs) can be translated as remnants (from shiyarim)."

Rabbi Scherman says based on this, that "G-d wishes to see how much of the lofty sentiments of our prayers remain with us after we close our siddur. Thus, He chooses what is left over after the Songs of praise have been uttered.

I read this comment yesterday and what I took from it was something different than what Rabbi Scherman suggests. I was thinking that G-d, in his kindness, picks the gems from amongst the shards of our broken prayers.

Davening attendance doesn't start till next week, which means that rather than spending pesukei dezimra taking attendance I've been able to pay more attention to the prayers themselves.

At the end of Ashrei (Psalm 145) it says that G-d guards certain people and destroys others. Dovid HaMelech states that G-d kills the wicked - resha'im - and protects those who love Him - ohavav. It seems asymmetrical. The way to make sense of it is to conclude that more than anything thing else, the essence of being a tzadik - the opposite of a rashah - is loving G-d.

BeShayarei Zimrah

He chooses our songs

Also the shards of songs

Beshirei zimrah

A Moment and A Thought

A teaching highlight: I had a student read and translate the first pasuk of Devarim. The class got the glaring question, how could Moshe have addressed the Jewish People in eight places at once? Ilana said that maybe it's not that he was in all these places at once, but these were all landmarks around one place. The Torah is pinpointing exactly where the place was. Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch says this and takes it to another level.

Rav Hirsch says (in part) that "our Moses departs from us, and no monument, no commemorative column, no earthly commemorative token is left behind him. The whole earthly personality of our Moses disappears with his death. Only the place on earth where the last of his faithful words were heard by his people is passed down with the most possible precision so that if a later descendant of his people comes to this place it may bring to him an echo of the Word of Moses and inspire him to be a faithful follower in his people and for his people."

Rabbi's Log - Year Fourteen: Day One (Poo Poo Poo)

I am grateful to G-d for a great day and night. The butterfly story and my one and only rule seemed to go over well. An administrator came into my room and told the class (and me) that he loves the aura in my room. We hugged. (Poo poo poo.)

Kids did a great job of answering the intro question of what they would be thinking/feeling/doing if they were at Moshe's month plus long speech. Some said they'd be scared of the future, others said they'd be embarrassed of their mistakes which were being put in their faces, others said they'd be frustrated and antsy standing and listening for such a long time. (I said I thought I might have tried selling Moshe memorabilia, you know - coins, yearbooks, albums, staff replicas, etc.)

Tonight I attended a going away party for a dear couple of holy friends who are making aliyah.

Someone told a cute story at this get together about a woman who didn't want to put too much oil in her Yerushalmi kugel. She knew how much her husband loved the oil, but felt it wasn't good for him. So she locked the bottle in the kitchen cabinet. Every Thursday night she would daven Maariv as the noodles simmered. While she was deeply immersed in prayer her husband would go into her apron pocket and remove the key. He'd get the oil and pour a generous amount into the noodles. The kugel always tasted great and became an emblem of their happiness and good fortune. One day during their golden years as they looked back on their good lives the wife asked the husband why they merited such blessings - as represented by their perfect kugel. he replied, "It's simple. The secret rests in your devout prayers and my diligent deeds!"

Good night and G-d bless

May we all get some good rest

And fall into our rhythm

My Soul's Progress

By Colette

It is burned and consumed
This darkened garment
That has obscured me.
Under it, the Jewel,
The pearl of all Beauty.

The flame of desire
Has destroyed my body
The flame of total Faith
Is embracing the Soul...
When becoming clear Light
It returns to the Light...

Transforming transfiguration!
I feel the same and quite other...
Enlarged and like a dot.
Near a disappearance
Into an explosion of this Highest Light
That can not have a name
Other than Truth
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Sundry Thoughts

My Jerusalemk

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One of my regular readers showed me a comedian on Conan talking about the miracles we take for granted. I've thought about this myself, but this guy put it well. It bugs me when an email takes thirty seconds to arrive and someone shouts, "THIS IS SO SLOW!" I think having words go through space and get to you in thirty seconds is pretty amazing. If it took a day I'd still be impressed. And on planes people focus on how cramped it is or how long it takes. Hello! You're flying! Everyone on a plane should be sitting there smiling and exclaiming, "Oh my G-d, I'm flying though the air!"
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People love to complain about flying. The truth is that my flight both ways was quite pleasant. I was thinking about it; a plane is a pretty comfortable place to be. You get your food served to you, have movies available the whole time, and no-one from outside the plane can reach you.

bh j

On a more serious note, one of the highlights of my trip to Israel was discovering Tehillim Cards - very meaningful, chock full of potential. I'd write more about my experience with these cards, but I think it is a very personal thing. I highly recommend getting and utilizing this powerful tool.
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Another great find was a book called On The Poetry of Zelda. I almost didn't buy it because it's in Hebrew. When I asked the store owner, in Hebrew, if the price was negotiable he replied, "It doesn't matter because you're not interested anyway." I told him, as I began to worry about his stability, that I was very interested but was a bit intimidated by the Hebrew. He cut the price of this rare, used, mint condition book and I bought it. I got my money's worth on the plane. I learned that Zelda asked that none of her letters be made public until twenty years after she died. In general she was guarded about her personal history and therefore not much is known. There is also a cool chapter that deals with Zelda as an orthodox writer and what that means more broadly.
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According to NPR's Soundcheck Smackdown - Youtube gets twenty new hours of video every minute! And it's the number two search engine on the web. hb
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I don't think I'm alone in enjoying walking in Yerushalayim more than walking in N.Y. In Yerushalayim hotels advertise that they're a close walk to the Kotel, when they're a half hour away. And people are fine with that. Imagine if a hotel on the Upper West Side said it was walking distance from the theater district (lehavdil)!

From Deep Inside

Anne pointed out that my work brought to her mind the art of Morris Louis. Now, my colleage/friend pointed out that I remind her of the minimalistic style of Sol Lewitt, which follows.

The same friend mentioned Frank Stella:

I am honored to be thought of in such esteemed company.

"A Torah Portion Of Old Age and Sound Advice"

Wow. I just read a piece. Wow. It's about something I think about all the time: time. It's filled with phrases that explode in your head a second after you read them like literary Pop Rocks ("a fugue for the wisdom of the old playing softly against the stentorian symphonies of youth"). And it's a dvar Torah (sic) which works in the straight Torah and a chidush - that rings true to me - to boot. Liel Leibovitz paints a vivid picture of an old woman named Francis and then organically mentions an old man named Moshe. This piece blew me away.

Youth No More

by Liel Leibovitz

"My next-door neighbor, Frances, cast her first ballot in 1920. She was among the approximately one million women in New York State who celebrated the suffrage movement’s monumental victory that year by participating in the electoral process for the first time in American history. She had voted, she told me, for the socialist Eugene Debs; it was the only time in her life she hadn’t given her voice to the Democratic Party’s candidate. Frances shared that story with me a few days after John Kerry’s defeat in the 2004 election, and I could swear by her look that she still felt a little awkward about having wasted her vote." CLICK FOR FULL ESSAY.

"People Are Unique And We Are All Fighting Our Own Battle"

Over the years I have received my share of treasured notes from students. I keep them close to the vest. Three weeks ago a student sent an email to about 15 teachers that he felt really influenced him, including me. He wrote articulately about what he gained from the school and how the connection he formed with staff was top of the list. He said that he learned specific things from his "relationships and encounters with teachers."

Along with some beautiful and outstanding, yet somewhat standard things ("I would not have the kavoneh in my davening, the appreciation for Torah, the love of learning, the passion for Israel and its history, the strong need to be identified with the Jewish people, the self-discipline for keeping mitzvot..." if not for teachers.) he listed one that blew me away. He reflected that through his education in our high school he gained an understanding "that people are unique and that we are all fighting our own battle." Wow. Wow. Wow. To be eighteen and get that! To be any age and get that! May we all be blessed to get what this young person understands. Please G-d.

Take A Tablet

I love strong voiced, first person writing. One can learn much from listening to another person. Here are two essays written from perspectives that are not mine. I found each one strong and insightful. First is this piece by Jordana Horn about reentering the dating world as a divorcee. One line in there made me laugh out loud. Then there's this one (thanks Pearl) by Esther Schor about having a child grow up - sort of - and board at school for the first time. Read 'em and weep, and learn, and grow.

The Kotel and Beyond: The Words Behind The Pictures

I made it. For a bit over a week, I was in Israel. I logged some good time on the bench opposite the Kotel. From there I prayed and wrote and smiled and sighed and wished I would stay forever.

This post includes some pictures from the experience. First is a moment of watching as one man among many approaches The Wall. Next is a boy who came the Kotel with his family to put on Tefillin for the first time. After their minyan ended the family stood where people walked through, told them of the simchah, and offered them soda, cake, and a lechayim.

Then there's a picture of me at the front left corner of the Kotel. It was my first time there in three years. If you look closely you can see that I tore kriyah. Three years ago I discovered a minyan run by a man whose name I was told is Efrayim Caspi. It takes place inside the cave and I recommend you get there at a bit before 7:30 and experience this holy service. Here's a picture of him walking away from the Kotel, still praying, the way he does every day.

Next is a picture of the old Aish HaTorah Beit Medrash. Then comes a picture of me pausing in front of a landmark on the way down to the Kotel. And then there's the Churva Synagogue. One of the most fascinating parts of the riveting film My Architect focused on the Churva Synagogue. Louis Kahn lost - he wanted something modern. The recreation of the ancient Shul is almost newly done.

Finally there's a photo of me on my perch opposite The Wall.

The Kotel and Beyond: Picture Album, August 2009

A Rose?

A man in Chelm is walking down the street and passes another fellow. "Yankel!" he shouts, "You look so different... You used to wear conservative clothes, now you're dressed flamboyantly... And your hair - it used to be black, now it's blond... Yankel you used to be fat, now you're a stick..." He goes on and on until the other guy cuts in and says, "My name isn't Yankel, it's Moishie," to which the reply bounces back, "You even changed your name!"

The age old question, "What's a name?" is a profound one. Perhaps we don't pay enough attention to the fact that the Torah is divided into paragraphs. A lot can be learned from giving a name to each section. Rabbi Noach Weiberg, Z"TL, was a great advocate for studying Torah through naming the sections. In The Living Torah, Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan's masterful bible translation, he provides a title for each Torah paragraph. Sometimes Chazal themselves named the mini sections of a parshah.

The second paragraph in Parshat Ki Tavo was named "Vidui Maasrot," - ""The Tithes Confessional" by The Rabbis. Given that there is no apparent confession in this section, the question arises, "Why is this title superimposed on this text?"

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That's basically how I started my drashah on Shabbos. Then I went into the ideas of the previous post. I ended with another story...

Ki Tavo

This week my dear nephew sent out his first weekly dvar Torah to family and friends. I’m proud of him and also happy to have a new great source of Torah. The following will be some of what my nephew put together based on a presentation of Rabbi Reuven Taragin, as well as other ideas.

When maasrot-tithes are brought, a declaration is made, stating among other things that his mitzvah was performed correctly. The Rabbis have dubbed this declaration as “Vidui Maaser” – “The Tithe Confessional.” Given that this expression - and indeed even a hint of confession – does not appear in the text - why did Chazal choose to call Devarim 12-17 a confession?

The Sforno explains that this declaration is appropriately coined a confession/vidui because under the surface it relates to a sin. Before the cheit ha’eigel - sin of the golden calf, the bechorim - first borns were meant to receive the maaser - tithes. After they participated in the cheit ha’egel, they lost this opportunity, and the Levi'im were given the right to maaser in their stead. According to the Sforno, we are confessing the sin which caused us to have to give maaser to the Levites and not the first born.

In the Stone Chumash, Rabbi Nosson Scherman sums up this approach and spotlights the tragedy it depicts: "Had Israel not worshipped the Golden Calf, the Divine Service would have remained the privilege of the firstborn, and every Jewish home could have been a sacred temple...For this we confess"

Rabbi Hershel Reichman cited Rav Soloveichik in saying that teshuvah often comes due to low times. However, during high times a person can come to feel that he is not worthy of all the good that G-d has given him. From this humbled state he can be inspired to confesses his shortcomings, having realized he is so blessed to receive the good he’s gotten – despite his shortcomings. Rabbi Reichman ties this in to the idea of the Shem Mishmuel that Shabbat is related to the word shev, to return to G-d. On Shabbos we take a step back and enjoy our family and our life, and say thanks to G-d. We are then inspired to correct any mistakes we’ve made, to confess, and return to G-d.

Rav Kook, in a unique approach, writes that we need to focus on the positive, as much or even more than on the negative of our actions. In the tochacha (48:47) we are chastised for not serving G-d in happiness, for not appreciating the mitzvoth we do. When we appreciate the good we’ve done it snowballs and encourage us to do more good. The word vidui is related to the word hoda'ah, which means to recognize or admit (and is often used in the context of giving thanks).

According to Rav Kook Vidui Maaser, more than being a confession in the literal sense of the word, is admittance that we performed the mitzvah of maaser with full heart sand souls. Since maaser is a consecration one's money and giving it consistently throughout the 7 years of Shmitah, it is a great mitzvah for the Torah to choose as the outlet through which to express how correctly we observed the mitzvah and how proud of it we are.

May we all be blessed with the ability grow in our avodat Hashem through being aware of and excited about the mitzvot that we do well.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Neil Fleiscmann