And It Is On That Place...

Here's a beautiful poem that I'd never seen before tonight, although apparently it has played a major role in the lives of many individuals, as is clear from the many comments here.

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Abou Ben Adhem
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Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,
And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom,
An Angel writing in a book of gold:

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Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,
And to the Presence in the room he said,
"What writest thou?" The Vision raised its head,
And with a look made of all sweet accord
Answered, "The names of those who love the Lord."

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"And is mine one?" said Abou. "Nay, not so,"
Replied the Angel. Abou spoke more low,
But cheerily still; and said, "I pray thee, then,
Write me as one who loves his fellow men."

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The Angel wrote, and vanished. The next night
It came again with a great wakening light,
And showed the names whom love of God had blessed,
And, lo! Ben Adhem's name led all the rest!

o
- James Leigh Hunt

~

I asked my librarian about the story about the two brothers who shared a field. Is it a Jewish story? She emailed me that Eliezer Segal writes about the story here, and says something that I'd heard years ago, but never seen in (virtual) print, that this did not originate as a Jewish story. In fact, according to Prof. Alexander Scheiber of Budapest, who devoted a number of special studies to the history of the legend, it is Arabic in origin. Here it is mentioned as an Arab story in the book Visit to the Holy Land; Or, Recollections of the East By Alphonse de Lamartine. (I found and linked to a picture of the text from de Lamartine's book, but it seems to have disappeared).

Menachem Medel cites several scholars here who all agree that this story is not Jewish in origin. After his initial post M.M. (a very nice fellow, by the way) came across a theory (which I find hard to swallow) that the story is based on a medrash about Kayin and Hevel and posted about it once again.

The blog named On The Main Line writes about this story. It is the author of that blog, Mississippi Fred MacDowell, who alerted me to the poem that appears at the start of this post. He said that the story of the brothers reminded him of that poem. I can see that.

I wrote the story here, in one of my long and winding blog-posts from two years ago. and I also cited the modernized version of the story (which M.M. quotes and says may not be as modern as people think).

Old School Blogging, Torah Trivia; Been A Long Time

I feel like it's been a while since I wrote a free style, old school, heavens to Betsy (did I just write that?) (how do certain terms just pop in the head?) blog post.

The librarian of the school I work in is amazing.I think there should be a show like Iron Chef only with librarians competing to see who can find information the fastest. I'm sure Mrs. Geller would win.

Unpretentious, amazingly talented, she has been one of the pillars of the school for many years, and please G-d will be for years to come. Sometimes I send kids to her to find sources, sometimes I ask for sources myself - I mean, in the realm of what I'm teaching. But there are also times when an out there question suddenly arises and I check in with her and she finds the answer in record time.

Yesterday I shared a few Jewish source related questions that make me go "hmmmm". Do you have pieces of Jewish lore that are simple to you, that you've known since you were a kid, that you assume everyone knows, only to find out one day that this is an arcane tidbit only you possess.

About 15 years ago Aaron Bulman, of blessed memory, was talking about the rainbow and mentioned that the direction of a rainbow's arc indicates a form of surrender. When you shoot at someone the string is in front of you and the solid arc faces you like a backwards C. When you face the C away from yourself you show that , at least for now, "you will study war no more."

Aaron learned this in Hebrew school and thought it part of Judaism 101 that the shape of the rainbow shows that G-d will not rain arrows of destructive rain on the world again. This was news to me and I found it cool and I don't remember of the other friends (at the Bulman table there are no awkward guests, everyone quickly becomes a family friend) there that Shabbos being familiar with this either. I asked Mrs. Geller where it is. She didn't know, but poked around and soon found that it's a Ramban!

This proves once again that so many ideas that have become organic parts of the whole of normative Jewish thought are found within the Ramban. (Rav Aaron Lichtenstein was once asked if he could have one book with him on a desert island, what would he choose. He said, "Ramban Al HaTorah.") (I recently told that story and one of the listeners, so to speak, corrected me and said that Rav Aaron actually said that he would take two desert island books with him. When I asked what he said the other one was, said corrector told he had no idea. This left me wondering about the mystery of personality, perhaps we'll talk more about that another time).

Here's the Ramban about the rainbow (Black Becomes a Rainbow just reentered my consciousness, joined now by She's A Rainbow - click on link for a pretty version without words. I recommend you just listen and not watch the slides):

רמב"ן בראשית פרק ט
יב) זאת אות הברית אשר אני נותן - המשמע מן האות הזה שלא היה קשת בענן ממעשה בראשית, ועתה ברא ה' חדשה לעשות קשת בשמים ביום ענן. ואמרו בטעם האות הזה, כי הקשת לא עשאו שיהיו רגליו למעלה שיראה כאלו מן השמים מורים בו, וישלח חציו ויפיצם בארץ (תהלים יח טו), אבל עשאו בהפך מזה להראות שלא יורו בו מן השמים, וכן דרך הנלחמים להפוך אותו בידם ככה כאשר יקראו לשלום למי שכנגדם. ועוד שאין לקשת יתר לכונן חצים עליו ואנחנו על כרחנו נאמין לדברי היונים שמלהט השמש באויר הלח יהיה הקשת בתולדה, כי בכלי מים לפני השמש יראה כמראה הקשת, וכאשר נסתכל עוד בלשון הכתוב נבין כן, כי אמר את קשתי "נתתי" בענן, ולא אמר "אני נותן" בענן, כאשר אמר זאת אות הברית אשר "אני נותן". ומלת קשתי מורה שהיתה לו הקשת תחלה. ולכן נפרש הכתוב, הקשת אשר נתתי בענן מיום הבריאה תהיה מן היום הזה והלאה לאות ברית ביני וביניכם, שכל זמן שאראנה אזכיר כי ברית שלום ביני וביניכם

It's Been A Long Time

1. Name a mitzvah from the Torah that can only be fulfilled if you are seated and then stand up.
2. a. Of the meraglim mentioned in parshat Shlach, where in the sequence (1-12) are Kalev and Yehoshua? b. What can we deduce from the answer to part a?
3. At the very start of Sefer Vayikrah, what alludes to Moshe’s humility? (Rashi, Ba’al Haturim)
4. What words in which pasuk in Sefer Vayikra can be understood to teach us that when you offer a korban, you are offering of your very self?
5. Which of the 4 Avot Nezikin share 3 of the same letters?

SheLo Tehei Libcha Poleig Al HaMakom

HaMakom

hn
By Neil Fleischmann

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We sat, not in silence,

We spoke, not somberly

He recalled as much as he wanted

about his 95 year old dad

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And then we kibbitzed;

Jewish denominations,

school politics and

an hour went by smoothly

th

And it seems to me

there was little guilt

in any aspect of

this shiva visit

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I wrote this poem in may and had been meaning since then to share it with the colleague that it's about. I just showed it to him and he wanted a printed copy and was very appreciative/moved. Things like that can make a day.

Another make my day moment, I sent home a nice note about a super mentchlich kid and got a note back from his parents telling me I made their day.

I Can Be Your Long Lost Pal (Click For Link)

Paul Simon's "Old Friends"
Plays in the back of my brain
As I sit and write
Waiting for the sun to rise
Silently sharing my fears

Like A Complete Unknown

A dear fellow blogger recently emailed me asking if I had the article Next Year In Jerusalem. A few years back a rabbi in the Aish office was kind enough to send it to me, off the record. Since then they seem to have gotten permission from Rolling Stone to post it on line. I vividly recall reading the article in its original form, in the Melbourne hotel over Pesach, when I was a kid. You can find the article here.

Trumah is a parsha that always makes me think of Rav Noach. I heard him speak about the meaning of the mishkan back in '84 and annually I revisit the thought. Here's one version of the idea from 4 years ago. And here's last year's edit.

Quick Movie Related Post

Jonathan Mark posted this on his eclectic and exquisitely written blog, Route 17:

Remembering Gene Siskel

Roger Ebert, who’s now suffering from illness himself (he’s totally lost the ability to speak) put together some nice memories and videos of his old partner, Siskel, who passed away from cancer a decade ago. Ebert, on his Chicago Sun-Times blog, recalls being touched by how seriously Siskel took his Judaism, among so much else. A beautiful essay about friendship.

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Speaking of movies, I am in the middle of watching the film Young At Heart. it is totally different than how it looked from the trailers, much deeper, darker, better.

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Ebert is my go to movie reviewer (but he didn't review Young At Heart). Some time ago I saw Millions and then wondered, what would Ebert think? The movie is about two kids who find money, but the essence of the story is not that two kids find money. It is about an eight year old named Damian who wonders if his late mother has become a saint. He reads about saints constantly. Saints visit him. Saints converse with him. He aspires to be like a saint.

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Damian happens to find a sack of money thrown off a train by a robber. He confides to his older brother Anthony about his found treasure. Roger Ebert admits that initially "by focusing on the money and the saints I have missed the real story of 'Millions,'" He goes on to correct his mistake and concludes that "this is one of the best films of the year. I agree. Nothing I read or heard prepared me for how wonderful this film was. There's no excuse for seeing junk when a movie like this is available. And I am thankful for Ebert's being on the same page as me.

Call For A Ceasefire

Dear Fellow Earthlings,

I hail from your planet

Take my words for it

Alien as they seem.

o

The others and I

We mean no harm

Frightening as we are

Poets come in peace.

u

- Neil Fleischmann

Ad She'tagia Li'mekomo

I recently received an email from Steve O'Brien who had been told by a friend that I'd mentioned him in my post about the plane that safely landed on the Hudson River. Steve shared with me how his faith in G-d (and his need to write about it) has increased since he survived that crash. He also told me that he knows that a lot of people don't want to hear it, but it's part of his story, part of him. I was saddened today when a colleague told me that he feels that this kind of faith passes quickly/isn't real and that even if it was real it wouldn't inspire/resonate for our students (I was thinking about having Steve speak in the school I work in) and and and. I am touched and impressed by Steve, and I am honored that he has shared some of himself with me (and granted me permission to share it with you) (more to follow, please G-d).

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Laguardia to Weehawken (or from Grave to Save)

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15 Days after the new year

Queens to the Queen City in cold NY clear

Flying in the sky with grey birds that day

From the Great White North-they got in the way

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Broiled Canadians stink up the cabin

Lookin' down, we're over Manhattan

Brace for impact, Sully did calmly deliver

We're takin' this airbus into the river

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Back in New York from my home in the south

This is not reality comes from my mouth

Thoughts of loved ones without me and hard times ahead

When I woke up this morning, didn't expect to be dead

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Big Tin can bounces along the waves

We are still in this world, not icy Hudson graves

Presence of G-d, open doors, sun and water

A dip off Hells Kitchen with somebody's daughter

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Shivering in the life raft, cut the line, Jerseys fine,

Ferryman comes- to save souls this time

155 hearts another day will beat

Miracle on the Hudson now life is so sweet

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- Steve O'Brien

Wish I Didn't Know Now What I Didn't Know Then (click for link)

Today a student asked me for help with an assignment in which he had to analyze 5 poems of a poet from the 19th or 20th century. The first advice I offered was to switch from William Carlos Williams, who threw him for a loop, to Billy Collins, who took him by the hand and helped him painlessly complete the assignment. I had him read each of the five out loud and figure them out. He laughed out loud when he read The Lanyard and got it! He got Introduction To Poetry right away because he, and all of his classmates and teacher are living that one out. Oh My G-d took him a little longer, but then he got the joke based on the title. Carry was not a funny one, but he got that the theme was love and appreciated it once he grasped it. Finally, the assignment called for one poem that followed a specific form. As they say at Staples, that was easy. We looked at The Sonnet and he was able to see how it follows the rules of a (non Shakespearean) sonnet.

Sentences

Questions. Rashi starts his commentary on Chumash by decoding a question that the Torah seems to be shouting, "Why start with the cryptic description of creation?" Relationships are built on questions. (I am fond of the joke about the yeshiva boy who is going on his first date. He asks his rebbe what in the world he should talk about, and the rabbi suggestes a fool proof 3 pronged formula, "Talk about family, food, and philosophy So the bachur asks the young woman, "Do you have any brothers?" And she says, "No." Next he asks, "Do you like Kugel?" She says, "No." He pauses, then asks, "If you did have brothers, do you think they'd like kugel?")

I have an ambitious treatise in mind on the issue of questions. In the spirit of what a wise person once taught me - "Done is better than perfect" - I will post briefly for now. Early in my teaching pursuits I was told to remember a profound truth, that there can be no answers if there are no questions.

On Shabbos I posed a question to my hosts and their guests/friends. G-d told Moshe, "And these are the civil laws that you should place before them." Rashi comments that placing before them means to put the laws down for them "like a set table - a shulchan aruch." My question is: What does Rashi mean, in comparing the way that Moshe is told to put the civil laws before the people to the image of a set table?

One wise young therapist thought that the purpose of a table setting is to enable you to eat food, rather than being an end in itself, so too the point of these societal rules is to lead to a moral digestion, rather than being something done in an isolated, rote manner.

An insightful writer and teacher said that the point of a set table is that it enables action. The point of mitzvot is to produce active change.

An experienced therapist and mediator pointed to the idea of structure, suggesting that Rashi is saying that for morality to work it can't be a mess, much as for a meal to go well food can't be strewn all over, but must be well ordered on the table.

After people shared their ideas I took a look at Rashi in black and white and was reminded of how well he speaks for himself. Before presenting the simile, Rashi states:

HaKadosh Baruch Hu said to Moshe, "It shouldn't enter your mind to say, 'I'll teach them the chapter and the law two or three times until it's fluent in their mouths and memory in accordance with its text,' and I won't bother myself to have them come to understand the reasons of the matter and its explanation.'" For this reason it says "that you should place before them," - keshulchan he'aruch u'muchan le'echol lifnei he'adam - like a table, set and ready to be eaten from, placed before a person."

Rashi himself includes the answers offered to the question posed at the set table I was privileged to sit at at this past Shabbos.

Unstill, Unsaid

A friend of mine who I mentioned yesterday for the first time in months to a mutual friend emailed me out of the blue with a poem draft. She feels stuck at two stanzas, but it looks done to me. Maybe that can be true about life too, stuck can be reframed to done, in a positive light.

The exchange that ensued got me thinking about the short form of poetry. These have all (except for the one by me) been posted at some point during the tenure of this blog. And yet.
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Requiem

By John Updike

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It came to me the other day:

Were I to die, no one would say,

"Oh, what a shame! So young, so full

Of promise — depths unplumbable!"

wb

Instead, a shrug and tearless eyes

Will greet my overdue demise;

The wide response will be, I know,

"I thought he died a while ago."

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For life's a shabby subterfuge,

And death is real, and dark, and huge.

The shock of it will register

Nowhere but where it will occur.and this one

Unsaid

by Dana Gioia
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So much of what we live goes on inside
The diaries of grief, the tongue-tied aches
Of unacknowledged love are no less real
For having passed unsaid. What we conceal
Is always more than what we dare confide.
Think of the letters that we write our dead.
or this or t
The Other Shoe
By Kay Ryan

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Oh if it were
only the other
shoe hanging
in space before
joining its mate.


The Living End
By Samuel Menashe

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Before long the end

Of the beginning

Begins to bend

To the beginning

Of the end you live

With some misgivings

About what you did. or -
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Joni and Delmore and Me
Neil Fleischmann (1995)

Joni rides her time carousel
Delmore begins dreaming life
You run by; I pass your corner eye
You pause, wish me luck, and are gone

FYI

I've written about Undiscovered and other books that I bought at a book fair. I think it's time I gave credit where credit is due. I saved a lot of money and got a lot of joy from that day. It was run by the Goddard Riverside Community Center. Here's the press release about that special day.

By the way - what do book readers out there do with their old books (other than keep them "forever" - been there done that). I'm considering listing some books I'm ready to let go and seeing if I can get them out to interested parties. This goes for DVDs and videos too. Anyone interested in The Truth About Celia? The Tender Bar (though it may be hard to part with for sentimental reasons, I don't see myself re-reading it)? A Spot of Bother? How about any seasons of As Time Goes By?

BTW #2 - I had a dream that I recently received an email from someone in my life with just a word in its text: "Nu?" I think it was a dream.

Zeh hayom Asah Hashem...

Steve Martin sure is talented. I tried to get the youtube image here, but alas had to link. It's him playing a song from his new album.

I am awed by what people can do and then actually do. I wrote about this a while ago, in regard to Mandy Patinkin - how I was blown away by seeing him perform. I just looked back at that post and was surprised that there was a long chain of comments there that I had forgotten about.

I was recently told by someone of the mentor ilk, that I must be careful not to hold my memory, the way that I hold on to things against people. it can get in the way. On the other hand the way I experience things and remember them, and I do think this is true for everyone, makes me who I am.

An editor just asked me if I have a personal (Jewish life related) essay to submit. Any ideas from this blog, dear reader?

I am pleased with this blog, lately I've been looking back a bit.

Tonight is The Oscars. My Oscar related posts never get a lot of comments: not this one with the 100 quotes used on the official poster a couple of years back, not this one either, and this one that looks like it got 5 comments - didn't really. I have not seen any of the best film nominees. I feel less interested this year than other years...

I wish everyone a blessed day.

Hooks Are So Important

Rashi's comment on the words "Ve'eileh ha'mishpatim "- "And these are the civil laws", is "Vav mosif al ha'rishonim"-the letter vav connects this phrase to that which preceded it. Rashi adds to his terse opening comment that just as the previous Torah portions are from Sinai, so too what is about to be stated is from Sinai.

Rav Shlomo Yoseif Zevin notes that every civil society has laws like the ones presented in this parsha. People make laws, in time people change laws. What separates Jewish tradition from the rest of the world is this one little vav. We like to think that what makes us unique are our ritual observances. These beautiful, modes of practice are not what most set us apart as a society, because rituals abound in every culture. What's unique about our religious way of life is that our standards of civil behavior are of Divine origin.

Rav Elchanon Wasserman explains "Tzidkatcha TzedekLe'Olam VeToratchah Emet" – “Your justice is just forever, and Your Torah is true” to mean that Jewish law is fair because Torah is true. The divinity of Torah that sets us apart.

Jews of all ages and backgrounds without exception need to constantly reinforce within ourselves belief in the divinity of our laws, specifically (but not exclusively) societal laws. Rabbinic tradition permeates the lives we masoretic Jews live. Trusting and respecting the rabbinic system is key to our continued commitment to traditional Jewish life. It is possible, yet tragic, to emerge from an upbringing in a traditional Jewish community without respect for halacha as a true way of life.

It is possible to live in an orthodox community and not get that the way we are to relate to and treat others (as written in The Torah and explained by The Rabbis) is a holy, Divine matter. The vav that links the Mishpatim to G-d need to be carefully studied just as our commitment to this connection must always grow stronger. May G-d bless us that it should be so.

Yeshuat Hashem KeHeref Ayin

A student told me yesterday that she had a question but then time ran out. I was wondering what it was. Today, she asked me - How early in the day can you eat Shalosh Shudos? To me that's a wow. I love it when students ask questions about Jewish observance in an organic way. Thanks Elishava, you made my day!

And yesterday Judah made my day by asking for Torah guidance and poring over the Sotheby's site together with me and discussing what the sefarim and prayers and pictures all meant. We also googled around to some general art. The good moments are so good.

Mirror Neurons

Last night a dear friend of mine, an esteemed member of Y.U.'s Kollel Elyon, told me about a chabura he gave to Y.U. guys, in which he cited the idea of mirror neurons. As he explained it, the idea basically is that if you experience a sensation such as pain and I see it happening - one could actually see proof inside my brain that - I feel the pain too. He applied it to the traditional Jewish concept of how careful we must be with what we allow our eyes to see. We hear a lot about lashon hara, and we sometimes hear the term ayin hara. Ayin hara is a household phrase, used to apply to a superstitious evil eye. There is a more important concept packed inside these words. Ayin hara, and ayin hatov are the steps that precede lashon hara and lashon hatov. Before we speak pejoratively or positively regarding reality we see, we choose what to view, bearing in mind that what we watch profoundly impacts our souls. We are then expected to unpack the pieces of any scene we see and look at it in the most positive light. This theory suggests that there is a visceral reaction to what we watch, which runs deeper than ever realized before.

Amazing

Born Without A Star

"Im kesef talveh et ami, et he'ani imach"

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"When you lend money to my people,

to the poor person who is with you."

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The Ibn Ezra writes that G-d refers to poor people as "My people" because the most righteous of people are generally poor, and G-d is particularly fond of them - they are are uniquely His.

If you know what may have prompted the Ibn Ezra to think of this, speak up.

A Survivor Speaks

"I have heard the Celtic expression 'the thin places'

related to those points in life

where there is a very thin veil between our world and G-d,

and I think everyone on that plane was at a very thin place that day."

That is part of an email I recieved from Steve O'Brien, a survivor of Flight 1549. I wrote about that miracle here, and mentioned a CBS radio interview with Mr. Obrien. I hope to soon post more of what Mr. O'Brien has written.

HaNei'ur BaLailah

"If up at night one turns one's heart to batalah

(traditionally translated as engaging in activities other than Torah study)

one is mitchayeiv benafsho

(traditionally translated as worthy of death)"

- Pirkei Avot 3:4

It dawned on me this morning - as dawn approached - what this saying might really mean. If you're up in the middle of the night (or very early on a Sunday morning) at a time when the world sleeps, it is significant and if not used properly would be a terribly sad, lost opportunity. When we go to sleep our soul is returned to G-d (I imagine it being taken into the shop where it gets a clean up and is then returned to us "shiny and new" as the lyrics from Playground in My Mind would put it). The mishna does not say that if you're awake in the middle of the night you must study Torah, rather it speaks of not using the opportunity to "turn your heart to batalah." Batalah literally means annulment, figuratively it means distraction. If you wake up in the middle of the night there are things you need to address - Achashveirosh style. If you don't do that then you are accountable for why you are not taking better care of your essential soul.

GNABG VOL LXVI

Just read what I found to be an interesting article. I will post it as the first comment (and will try to remember not to get excited when I check and see that this post received one comment).

I like independent, serious movies. I've seen none of the five nominated films, but I have seen two of the movies spotlighted in this article.

That reminds me, when I was in third grade or so, my friend Glenn Kaye taught me a game that he made up and we used to play it during recess. The idea was for one of us to follow being someone else and copy their walking, etc, while the other one watches, judged, was entertained. Glenn was ahead of his time and age, and maybe I was too as his best friend. He got me into Jean Shepherd at age 9 or so, lending me In G-d We trust, All Others Pay Cash, long before I got the joke of the title.

Excerpt of an email from a dear friend: I miss your blog. I do. I miss the "you" in it. Sigh. Shudder.

I am hopefully moments from sleep. Good Night and G-d Bless.

Behind the cloud, the sun is still shining - Abraham Lincoln

No More Than One More Yitro Thought

Before they receive the Torah, G-d wants the Jewish People to know something. He tells Moshe to inform the people they are a segulah - treasure to Him and that they are to become a kingdom of priests and a holy nation ( Shemos, 10: 4-5).

Rav Shlomo Yosef Zevin, however, in LeTorah U' LeMoadim, explains Rashi's comment of "no more and no less" in a unique manner. He develops the idea that although our souls are boundless they are constrained by our bodies. We are limited in the spiritual heights we can achieve. The good news is that we are also constrained in how far down we can fall. He says that even at our lowest we maintain our segulah status. On the other end of the spectrum we are blessed with free will and can achieve the title of a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. We are bound to exist somewhere between the freebie of am segulah and the crowning accomplishment of mamlechet kohanim/goy kadosh.

Right before the Torah was given, G-d wanted the Jewish people to know how high they could fly, and also that there was a safety net. These are two important lessons for us to remember always as a nation and as individuals.

Special thanks to Rabbi Josh Hoffman. This piece was adapted from his inspiring essay in his weekly Netvort.

Peaceful As A Hurricane Eye

As I write these words I sit half lotus on a large black leather chair, I lean forward on my desk, enjoy a newly bought (at ShopRite) scented candle (Village Candle Company, Crisp Apple). When/how did I become a fan of scented candles? This candle is impressive in terms of style (two wicks), look (red in rounded glass jar) , and price (cheap, don't remember more than that).

CBS radio news is blaring eclectic stories about damage done by today's wind . I am five, waiting for my mother to pick me up from Heller Hebrew Academy. I'm scared, convinced the wind is blowing me away.

A friend from Israel is in America and just called me while driving. Been a long time since he first appeared at my Bayside door in the late eighties and asked if I knew how to get to Boston, where we were both to be part of a learning/teaching program. I said what I usually say when asked if I know how to get somewhere, "No." Uninterrupted, he answered his own question, "I know, don't worry. I think you turn when you hit Connecticut. Do you know where to buy Shoes? I have to stop for dress shoes."

Epiphany. Deciduous. These words come into my mind and I go to dictionary.com to make sure I'm not dreaming. It's funny, but not funny ha-ha, how I remember the moments when I learned a word the first time.

One day a mentor/friend spoke of epiphany. I asked and he explained, in a typically epiphany lined moment: a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

A dear deciduous friend wrote something about mothers, children, and the deciduous reality of that relationship, then explained: shedding the leaves annually as certain trees and shrubs, general falling off or shedding at a particular season, stage of growth, as leaves, horns, or teeth, not permanent; transitory.

At this moment Paul Simon is singing from my TV monitor about Roy not needing to be coy, which reminds me of Dylan singing, "You may call me Terry, you may call me Timmy,You may call me Bobby, you may call me Zimmy." This prompts me to look up the lyrics:

You may be a state trooper, you might be a young Turk,

You may be the head of some big TV network,

You may be rich or poor, you may be blind or lame,

You may be living in another country under another name
But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed

You're gonna have to serve somebody,

Well, it may be the devil or it may be the L-rd

But you're gonna have to serve somebody.

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Which reminds me of, "Anu ratzim, veheim ratzim..." - one way or another in life we are ultimately running - positive or negative - someplace .

I was thinking earlier of watching/listening to either a concert of the Eagles or Paul Simon, both of which I own on VHS. Not long ago I inched my foot into the waters of the 21st century and now watch DVDs, it having been some time, since I viewed a video. I couldn't find Hell Freezes Over, so I went with Simon. As I tried to put You're The One into the video slot , I saw a video in there and had to let it out. It was The Eagles.

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Paul Simon is singing, "These are the days of miracles and wonder, so don't cry baby don't cry."

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"Old friends, like bookends"

New friends like what? Maybe books.

We read each other

We need a meeting
about why we have meetings
Let's meet about that

I Just Gave An Exam

Tests: not the best
Implicit mess
We must confess

What do you earn
When You learn
What's the return?

Is it more than a grade
What have you made?
Diplomas fade

Johari's Window

There is what I see

About me that you can't see

Things you see I don't

Parts of me we both can see

Elements hidden to all

Yitro: Eagles Wings, Consequence and Motion

"ואשא אתכם על כנפי נשרים ואביא אתכם אלי" "And how I bore you on eagle's wings." This line is provocative, asking to be felt, then understood (as T.S. Elliot said of poems; they are felt before they're understood). Here is one old school approach followed by a literary take.

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G-d says that he'll carry the Jewish People on eagle's wings. The Seforno says that the meaning of the eagles’ wings is that they carry the eagle to a place where no one else can go. The concept is that G-d has taken us as His, separate and apart from all other nations and their ways. The Seforno is consistent in his interpretation throughout this pasuk. Regarding what it was that G-d is reminding them that they’ve seen in Egypt, Seforno explains that G-d is reminding them how he entreated the Egyptians to leave their evil ways, not wanting them to die. Only because of their corrupt stubbornness did G-d G-d have to destroy them. The theme of the pasuk, according to Seforno, is that there are consequences for evil behavior and that G-d expects better from us.

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Aviva Zornberg explains that a metaphor, in contrast to a simile, provides space for interpretation. She writes that the metaphor of eagle's wings “strikes the reader with an exotic force” and at once creates a conception of “intimacy, protection, love, speed.” It is Zornberg's contention that by portraying G-d as the eagle carrying its young this pasuk suggests our lightness. The point is that, despite how we feel, our physical beings are in reality weightless. The Hebrew word for honor – kavod means weighty, and at this historic moment, as we were being uplifted and chosen by G-d, we were told not to be taken by a sense of our own grandiosity. In relation to G-d’s greatness our delusions of grandeur are deflated, our own heaviness put in its proper, limited context.

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Dr. Zornberg explains that the description of G-d carrying us on eagles’ wings creates images of carrying and being carried, old and young, strong and weak. It reminds us that as important as our past experiences make us feel, “history is driven entirely by G-d’s motion.” The reason a metaphor is employed here may be that the conveyed idea is a hard one to accept. What Milan Kundera calls “the unbearable lightness of being” is difficult to embrace head on. We need to come to it through an image, to take it in, in a way that “the ear is capable of hearing".

No Human Casualties, but What About the Luggage?

This question has been on my mind. Read the answer in the first comment: a NY Times article.

Avot 4:1 / Melachim I: 19:12

We love our voicing

questions & answers, like dust,

float by, regardless.

Real honor is internal;

"the sound of a thin silence."

On Root Canal

Someone has to think

Of what root canal hurts like

Must be something else

Good Day

I just typed as fast as I could (about 30 words a minute) for five minutes and it didn’t take. I looked up and found a blank screen but for a few word fragments. It was like talking to someone and then realizing they weren’t listening to a word you said. Now, I keep looking up at the screen to be sure, but of course that’s like someone tripping and then someone else saying, “Be careful.” No need. Lightening doesn’t strike twice. Not right away.
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I’m bleching it out on the page, that’s what Jennifer Natalya Fink calls writing without stopping. I was blessed to have her as an adult ed teacher – what a gem. Another thing she said is that she liked writing in naturally altered states, like when you’re not feeling well. That applies to me right now. I had root canal yesterday and am definitely in a place from which I can write with a different feel.

Sometimes I just want to write. I could fold it away as I sometimes do. During this moment I’m presently living inside I feel like sharing. I will tell you this much, I don’t see The Answer blowing in the wind. And yet.

Something about snow

like a natural blanket

custom made by G-d

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Snow across a branch

little is as beautiful;

a Divine brush stroke

If I keep writing now I will fall behind in my early morning routine, miss my ride and be late for work and and and. If I stop writing now I will be ready to leave on time, will make my ride. I'm going to have to go. And yet.
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Happiness

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It comes on unexpectedly.

And goes beyond, really,

any early morning talk about it.

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-- Raymond Carver

~

(an excerpt)

Hello, yeah, it's been a while...Not much, how 'bout you?

I hope everyone had a good Shabbos and had a good night and has a good life that isn't rife with strife.

The New Yorker has a good short story this week about aliens landing, so truly original and uniquely well written. It also has a feature of writings from John Updike (I've done the unthinkably nervy and edited Updike's writing, splitting up the prose so that the poetry of it is clear):
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The rooms where we lived; rooms and stairways

so imbued with our daily motions

that their irregularities were bred into our bones

and could be traversed in the dark,

do not seem to mourn, as I had thought they would.j

Our house forgot us in a day.

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From Plumbing, By John Updike- February 20, 1971

Laila Tov VeHashem Yevarech

It's way past time for bed. I am preparing and procrastinating and worrying and enjoying and yawning and resisting and giving way and heading toward sleep.

A memory just popped in my mind - visiting Aunt Selma in the hospital when I was in ninth grade and reading a Woody Allen interview in The New York Times Magazine in the back seat of the car on the way from M.T.A. to Columbia Presbyterian. Woody said something that has stayed with me, he said that he had it harder than some other comedians. He said all most comedic actors had to do to get a laugh was put a ping pong ball in their mouth. On the other hand he said that for him to get the laugh he had to swallow the ping pong ball. That hit a chord for me at 14.

Our fears do make us traitors -

William Shakespeare

Ani BaYa'ar Halachti...Really

I got a comment today on a post from May (Thank G-d for the blogger feature that emails you when you receive comments on any post). The comment was about a song etched into my essence and you can find it here along with my reply (the post is short, the action is in the comments). I mentioned my interest in the song more recently, expressing public gratitude to those who put efforts into helping me learn more about it - at the end of this free flowing post.
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A couple of months back I arrived late at a book fair that was already selling stuff for very cheap. In the last hour off the sale they sold all the books (brand new) for several dollars. I bought Plato And A Platypus Walk Into A Bar for three dollars. It attempts to use jokes to explain philosophy. Here's one I read that kids today probably wouldn't get.
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One evening a little boy in the suburbs asks his daddy where mommy is. The father replies, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." The kid asks, "What's that?" and his father explains, "It's when a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other." The boy laughs like crazy and then says, "Come on dad! What is it really?"

Rabbi's Log: 3:11 PM

Years ago a reader who goes by Moreh Derech commented that he wasn't sure he liked the fact that students read my blog. I think that students of the age that I teach are mostly interested in themselves and that's how it should be. Sometimes they catch wind of the fact that I have a blog, as happened today, and they take a quick look and then return to their lives. Lately I've been putting up little posts of gratitude after classes and a student saw recent writings and ask if i write after every class. That's one little picture that comes to mind as I wait for my ride home, who is speaking to his Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Blachman...

Nice moments of the day: Torah guidance with a very astute young man who gets people in an impressive way, another young man who was deeply concerned over why the Jews were punished even though - explain it as you will - G-d did tell them to go, a student who checked in to make sure that I don't take his ADHD personally, lunch with a table full of former students who like to discuss movies, a visit and positive feedback from a supervisor.

These words are profound:

Ashrei yoshvei veitecha

Also a signal:

Announcements are now over,

Start Ashrei, soon we'll be done

How are you? Thank G-d.

Question and answer duet

The pause is the key

"Just one more thing..." - Columbo

So much to blog, so little time
My bed calls, so does my head
So too my thoughts, so many aughts
Then I let go or try to, real slow
Let go of the day in my awkward way
As I type, overripe for sleep,
Suddenly yearning to write deep words,
To retell all that I've heard and recall,
The rises and falls of the empire I seek,
The world I observe, every dot and curve

The first comedy album I listened to, the one that got me into the whole thing, was Mind Over Matter (for the lyrics to the title song, click here).

Someone did a good job of syncing a Robert Klein routine about a commercial with the actual commercial.

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Minutes ago I emailed a friend and mentioned that some people are very makpid about writing private things in emails. I realized as I wrote it that it's redundant to say very makpid (because makpid means strict, with a very included). The expression a little nippy came to mind, which is a silly phrase because nippy means a little bit chilly. Can you think of other redundant phrases in every day speech?
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I heard a comedy routine poking fun at people who email in lower case ("like it's such a strain to press the capital key!"). I that find it easier to type all in lower case. Thoughts?
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Why is fattening food called comfort food? When the pounds pile on it's not very comforting. (Full disclosure: I had macaroni and cheese for dinner).
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Last year I had the retreat center where I work on Pesach order Artscroll siduriim. The new program director told me that Amzon was the cheapest place to buy an Artscroll siddur. I have a thirty dollar Amazon gift certificate burning a hole in my in box and I was thinking of buying one of those big tan Artscroll siddurim. I checked. It is a couple of dollars cheaper on Amazon than at the Y.U. sale.
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Does anyone (besides me) know how Artscroll got its name?
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Questions are priceless

With out questions that matter

Answers miscarry

Questions are life providers

Teachers and others beware

Tanka Very Much

On Thanksgiving, as well as on other days, I traded off with a friend - each of us listing something we were grateful for. Rav Chaim Shmuelewitz says that being alive is like winning a lottery. he adds that the things we often get upset about are comparable to getting frustrated over a scratch we get while jumping for joy over having just won millions of dollars.

Studies have shown that paraplegics (some time after their accident) - rachmana litzlan - when compared as a group to people with all of their limbs, have the same ratio of happy and unhappy people.

I sit in a beautiful building, in private space, listening to music, breathing, and typing. Today's a day in which I have four classes. I also did two guidance periods. I prepped a bit, ate, drank, prayed. I walked to my ride and got to work on time and in one piece, soon I will head home. I exchanged kind words with many students. I thank G-d.

~

He held back today

His father lived through illness

He prepared a speech

Then he remembered her dad

Here one second, "too soon gone."

~

Asking for passes

In different languages

With our lives, we ask

Friend: accept me with my flaws

G-d: grant me another day

~

We make many turns

Quickly, without noticing

By we, I mean you

Though I also have blind spots

We each miss things our own way

~

And now I must look

Superstition in her eye

Sit on memories

Stare down this music, this chair

Breathe in and breathe out, and live

~

With Thanks To Stanley H.F.

Nine tenths of the law

Lawyers say of possession

possessed with a realm

I think more of perception

What we think that we might have

Culture Corner

I have not seen the films nominated for best movie, am not excited about any of them, even though my father (HSLABW) says Slum Dog (we're on a first/middle name basis) was "well conceived."

I'm not the only one underwhelmed by these nominees, as reported in today's New York Times.

I recently bought the one CD I could find that was of interest to me in the going out of business Circuit City; Follow The Lights by Ryan Adams and The Cardinals (see video, hear song). It touches me in an edgy way.

R-A-M-B-L-I-N - Apostrophe

Steve Martin has a new banjo album out and there's an article about it in today's New York Times. You can see him playing with Earl Scruggs on Late Night, here (I like how Dave addresses Steve at the end). You can see the many posts in which I've mentioned or written about Steve Martin, by clicking here.

Years ago at a noisy get together I met someone whose last name was Martin, which I found unusual so I asked her to repeat it - to make sure I heard right and she did, and then added, like Steve. Later she laughed harder than anyone at two of my performances. Thanks Naomi.

What A Woderful World This Would Be

Wonderous moments scatter themselves throughout the landscape of my days. Today one student asked if it would be better if he not give his personal speech, because he realized after preparing it that his topic might make another student in the class uncomfortable because of a tragedy the other student endured. Several students, in various classes, pointed out to me that other students answered questions I put out to the class, wanting others to get the good re-enforcement from me, rather than taking it for themselves. A student came back to me after having reworked the outline that we spent a period talking through together on Friday and it's looking great. Four students have come forward and dove into one of the greatest of human fears and given autobiographical speeches so far, and it's only the fourth day of the semester. Many kids in Gemora and Chumash classes enthusiastically participated, guessing the answers to questions on the board and on sheets.

Students like to learn and teachers like to teach and when that happens the world is sweet.

Rashomon

"Perception," he said

"makes up nine tenths of the flaw."

Back when he was king

VaYishlach, Beshalach, Shlach

Please G-d I'm giving a talk on the parsha this Thursday night. I've been preparing by looking here, where I focused on one verse, Shmot 16:7, and Moshe's question, "Veanchnu mah? - And we, what are we?" (I noticed that I failed to answer a comment. I hate when that happens. Sorry.)

I also am thinking about the unique approach of the Sfat Emet, who says that the war with Amelek was not won the way people think it was. People read the mishna in Rosh HaShana as teaching that when the people looked to heaven then they won the war, and that Moshe lifted his hands Heaven-ward as a reminder to look there. The Sfat Emet reads the mishna to mean that when they looked to Heaven Moshe's hands got strength and when they didn't then Moshe's hands weakened.

I searched Beshalach within this blog and seven posts came up. Several of the posts are essays on the parsha, while others mention the parsha in passing in poetry and prose. I reread the posts and the comments and found the experience gratifying.

I sit in wonder

What exactly is a blog?

It ebbs much like life

It was one thing yesterday

Today is a brand new day

Tanka of the Day

Yes we are alone

Yes we are never alone

Yes G-d is with us

Yes we are alone with G-d

When G-d calls your name - say, "Yes"

I Like Short Stories

The New New Yorker prints fiction that digs inside a character's psyche. The Limner, by Jilian Barnes, which I shared and linked to here is an outstanding story.

Al Roosten by George Saunders is set in a different world, yet it also gets into a person's head in a remarkable way and strikes me as not so different from the Limner, in the end. This one got to me.