Thank G-d For The Bus Ride Home

@

Riding on Route 4

Takes me back to Englewood

1968

&If burjied a

jjIf buried alive

I'll write my way out of it

Author a tunnel

Pen a bridge to Hope City

Create my own salvation

l

They say Moshe said,

"Better die a thousand deaths

than live jealously."

&

Why not say hello?

benign but uncomfortable

some - it's hard to like

p

Here are a few quick random notes on some of what's in the poems, not a decoding - just a little prose on the side.

;

After years of riding home on Route 4 from work, one day - the cliffs and trees along the sides of the road chilled and shuddered me. I remembered that as I child I rode the same route pretty regularly on Sundays, visiting my aunt and uncle and cousins in Englewood. And I conjured one ride home very vividly; just me and my dad, a sweet ride home - don't remember a detail of why that ride stood out - it just was one of those Our Town kind of moments.

u

I think writing can be so restorative and life affirming and crucial. I know it is for me. When I was a kid I dreamt that one day I'd carry a pad with me and write down things as I thought of them. Thank G-d for dreams come true.

u

I heard a medrash over Shabbos. I hope to write it up long hand - but the upshot was that Moshe said that line - "better to die a thousand deaths..." I think, in part, it means that jealousy is destructive, counter life. This fits with an epiphany that I wrote about regarding jealousy, about a week and a half ago, one that I thought might be a new angle, of interest to readers and wonder about reaction wise.

l

I recall a woman on a date, long ago, telling me that when it came to most of her former classmates, if she saw them approaching she'd cross to the other side of the street (not for any horrible reason, just kacha) (she was Israeli in Israel and told me this in Hebrew). Recently I saw someone I knew peripherally from long ago and kinda sorta hoped they didn't recognize me and that I could be OK with not saying hi (or even hello).